The summertime is fast approaching. Soon school will lock their doors and your children will be enjoying the lazy, hazy days of summer. As they say, Idle hands  can be dangerous.  It’s important to give your teenager both relaxation during the summers and some freedom, but it’s important to do so under an environment of structure.

In the old days, a summer day often meant running around outside from sunup to sundown, today — at best — it often means a long day indoors playing video games or watching TV. At worst it can mean a teenager who is bored (with idle hands) being tempted to get involved in things better left alone. That might be drugs, alcohol or sexual activity. It could also just be other dangerous activities  – like playing with the matches and candles in the house and burning down the house. Yea. It happens.

As a parent it’s important that you are always prepared for summer so that you can keep some structure in your teenager’s life. This is most important for young teenagers before they are able to drive or get jobs. The ages between 13 and 16 are the ages fraught with issues and honestly if you can get your teenagers through this time, you’re on easy street. Well, almost… but close. Fortunately, there are things you can do to provide structure whether you work outside the home or not.

Give them a job — Even young teenagers can do jobs around the house. Provide a checklist to the teenager to get done each day while you’re at work. It’s also important that you call and check in on the teenager a few times a day. The chores can be anything from cleaning the kitchen to cleaning out the garage to reading a certain book. It all depends on what you want to teach your child and the age and maturity of your teenager.

Send them to camp – Whether it’s overnight camp or day camp there are many different camps you can send your teenagers to during the summer. The experiences they have will often define their futures. A child who shows interest in space for instance, sent to Space Camp in Huntsville Alabama may get more serious about science in school and realize that they can become whatever they want if they work hard enough.

Sign them up for community activities — There are summer sports and activities that teenagers can get involved in. This will require some commitment from you in terms of transportation. It doesn’t matter if it’s swimming, tennis, or volunteering at the local community garden there are many activities for teenagers probably right in your city that cost nothing other than transportation. Ask your student’s school counselor or advisor for information about how to locate these types of opportunities. They’re also great for college apps!

Let them take a class — Some community colleges, and even high schools offer summer courses both for credit and without credit. Some of these college summer enrichment programs can give teenagers wonderful insights and lessons that can help them decide their futures better. Some of these courses even offer the teenagers dorms and places to stay and some are even overseas. Summer reading programs at community colleges and four year universities for teenager are very popular. Look them up for your area via Google. Check out info from West Coast Connection.

Regardless of which avenue you take, one of them or all of them combined, it is important not to just leave teenagers at their own devices before they are 16, have a job and transportation. They need some structure and some type of accountability to help — not only keep them out of trouble — but to give them a sense of belonging and joy about life. What do you do to keep your teenagers busy in the summer? How do you provide structure during the summertime?

Schools Out! Plan for The Perfect Teen Summer – If you are ready to discover how you can help your pre-teen or teen make it through summer by staying productive and out of trouble, this is for you. This package is equipped with a 10 Week Summer Action plan, 5 expert audio interviews, special reports and more.

 Click Here for More Ideas on How to keep your Teens productive during the summer months.

Being consistent means that you do what you say you will and follow through, each and every single time. A child who experiences this type of parenting will, by the time he or she reaches the teen years, become almost self-disciplining. But, if you’ve been lax in the consistency department, don’t lose heart, it’s not too late.

Here are the best ways to discipline teenagers:

Hold a family meeting – Get your children together and have a family meeting. During this meeting you’ll explain your new parenting technique of consistency.  Then let them help you with the rest of the meeting.

Form a plan together – Together you and your teenager(s) will form a plan to deal with both positive and negative situations. This way, your teen will know what to expect. When teens know what to expect, and you don’t disappoint them, they learn to trust you more.

Choose natural consequences – With your teenager, choose what the consequences of various actions will be in advance. Don’t forget positive consequences as well as negative consequences. Each action should garner a reaction that makes sense.

Be realistic – Never create a consequence that is completely unrealistic. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, discipline or praise, if you cannot see it through, don’t promise it If you always create consequences that are natural effects of your teenager’s actions, you’ll have a lot more success.

Stand firm – Your teenagers will test your resolve. Stand firm and stick to what you said you’d do, if you don’t do it, there is no point in even starting. Teenagers need you to be dependable; it makes their world feel safe and complete.

Firm but not inflexible – Have regular family meetings in order to adjust consequence and rewards as needed. Some families like to have weekly meetings, others monthly. It’s up to you how you do this but having regular meetings to see how everything is working will increase your chances for success.

Remember the goal – When you are wavering in your resolve always think about the ultimate goal of being more consistent with your teen: Raising an adult who has self-control, is reliable, and is a productive citizen.

With a little practice you can bring consistency to your discipline methods which will increase the chances of success of that method exponentially. You may also find that you no longer need harsher methods of punishment to get the same results. You’ll be able to get away from constant criticism when you create a plan with the teenager about consequences. When teenagers get a say in discipline matters they tend to choose better behavior.

Give it a try for 90 days, do what you say you will do, and be clear about what that means with your teenager. Let me know how it works for you.

For more info on the the best way to discipline a teenager, visit the links below:

Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen This toolkit offers parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

Visit Out of Control Teen to learn more about how you can help a teen that shows signs of trouble.

Teen Peer Pressure

Teens today face a lot of stressful circumstances on a day to day basis. Teens may feel isolated, different from others and tormented by peer pressure. This is a major factor leading to teen depression. Today, problems such as violence, gossip and bullying are a big part of the peer pressures teens’ face. Since a teens’ brain is not completely developed, they do not have all the logical skills to know how to work through these situations of peer pressure.

Various Life Changes

Teens who face a lot of changes in their lives may suffer more bouts of depression. Some teens face major life changes such as death in the family, divorce of parents, relocation away from good friends and loss of a friendship that puts a great amount of stress on the teen. Teens tend to overreact to stressful circumstances and changes in life. This can cause a lot of negative feelings, thinking and eventually depression.

Drugs, Alcohol and Negativity

When teens abuse drugs and alcohol, it often leads to depression. Because alcohol is a depressant, it will impact the mind which leads to depression. Drug use can also impair the mind of a teen so that it does not function properly which can lead to depression. When teens are depressed, they limit their social interaction, their grades might drop and they might attempt suicide or drop out of school. Many teens will begin to fight with their peers and parents. When teens are stressed and abusing drugs and alcohol, it makes them think negatively. Consequently, this leads to depression.

Prevention

Teens must work on focusing on the more positive aspects of their lives and try to avoid the causes of depression. It is helpful for teens to spend more time with achievement-oriented and positive friends. By participating in activities and hobbies that bring happiness, the teen will help prevent depression. Some of the other ways to prevent teen depression is by getting enough sleep, talking to a parent, guidance counselor or doctor if stressed out or in crisis mode, avoiding thoughts that are pessimistic, avoiding listening to music that is depressing or about suicide, staying away from friends who are involved with drugs and alcohol and by eating a balanced, healthy diet.

Action

Make sure you communicate that teens should never be afraid to reach out to a teacher, parent or medical professional when they feel depressed. Explain why making an appointment with a therapist to talk about depression symptoms is helpful. It may be awkward or seem unnecessary, but it could very well save a life, so make it a point to articulate the resources available to the teen(s) in your life.

Katherine Jennings writes about parenting, mental health and education. Her best work discusses online psychology degrees.

How Important Is Your SAT Score?

Though admissions offices are generally tight lipped about exactly how much SAT scores matter, we know high school grades and participation, ethnicity and family educational history play a large part in determining college admittance, along with standardized test scores and personal application essays.

But what if your student is like the younger-version of Bob Parsons? For those who are unaware, Parsons is the founder of the Internet hosting site GoDaddy.com. What if your student is focused, driven and gets decent grades, but doesn’t stand out on paper?

If your student fits into the all-American average student with a respectable GPA, reasonable amount of club activity and successful parents who attended college themselves, he or she is likely to be accepted to several universities of his or her choice. In this case, it isn’t first-generation education pursuits or family background that will set your child apart. Admittance is inevitable, but to which university is questionable; here lies the value of good SAT prep.

The Stats

Found on PayScale.com is median starting salary data and median mid-career salary data for bachelors degree graduates of most U.S. colleges and universities. Paired with the Chronicle of Higher Education, which has a searchable tuition database, and schools that provide the 25^th and 75^th percentiles (usually called the “middle 50 percent”) of their admitted students’ SAT scores, college hopefuls can easily narrow their university choices based on SAT scores, tuition price and future salary expectations.

Take for example the scenario in the Forbes’ article: a student’s SAT scores are 1700, which puts her in a good position for admission to Adelphi University where the middle percent SAT scores fall between 1480-1780. According to PayScale.com, the median salary for graduates right out of college is $46,000 and grows to $83,500 mid career.

But, with that SAT score, she might not make it into her preferred school, Stony Brook University, which has a middle percent of 1660-1970. PayScale lists Stony Brook graduates’ median pay to be $45,800 out of college and $91,000 mid career.

SAT Prep

In this situation, how much would it be worth to pay for SAT prep classes and what might be the value of a score increase? According to Forbes, more than $100,000 in future earnings.

With that data in hand, selecting a university to attend becomes much easier and SAT preparation has more purpose. This information can help students and families decide which is more suitable for them: a university that admits applicants with lower SAT scores but averages less pay for its graduates or a university that requires higher test scores but averages more pay. The two don’t always go hand in hand, but often the higher the SAT score the higher the chance of getting into a university that produces graduates earning higher median salaries.

“For almost everyone except test prep professionals, actual scores wont be worth a hill of beans once acceptance letters are sent out,” said Mike McClenathan from Forbes. “But where those acceptance letters come from might or might not be worth a great deal.”

Tips and Tools

To help teenagers stay motivated to study, encourage a variety of practice. Besides just taking tests online, students can download SAT practice apps on their mobile devices. Yourteacher.com’s SAT app focuses on math while Superkids.com offers SAT vocabulary flashcards and matching games to help students study and learn more than 1,000 words frequently found on the test. Another popular app that is said to be less fun but more helpful is the Princeton Review’s SAT Score Quest for iPad. Offering abbreviated practice tests for each of the SAT’s subjects math, writing and critical reading the app can help students realize possible areas of weakness. The app also lists the logic behind each correct answer and teaches strategy for answering questions.

Many teens assume that they can handle texting and driving, yet the statistics suggest otherwise. Eleven percent of all divers under the age of 20 involved in fatal crashes were reported as distracted at the time of the crash. This age group has the largest proportion of drivers who were distracted, and crashes are the leading cause of teen deaths.

Only 39 states have laws against distracted driving, and states without them are starting to take action. Tampa held a summit for Florida’s first distracted driving summit in early November to address issues such as cell phone policies, traumatic injuries and teen education. The proposed bill and new laws could decrease the number of statewide and Tampa personal injury cases, serious medical complications, and lost lives due to automobile accidents.

Regardless of state laws, teens are still texting behind the wheel and putting themselves, and others, at risk for a serious or fatal accident. Teens and adults should put their phones down and focus on the road. Here are a few tips on how you can help your teen stop the habit that could cost them their lives.

1. Be a Role Model

Teenagers are more likely to text and drive if their parents do it, according to a study by SADD. When you’re in the car with your teenager, or family, make sure your focus is on the road. Texting on your cell phone doubles your reaction time. If you use your cell phone while driving, your teens may think it’s okay for them to use theirs when they’re behind the wheel.

2. Don’t Even Text at Red Lights

Just because your car is stopped doesn’t mean you’re not posing a dangerous threat to other drivers, and yourself. Some people start texting as they are rolling to a stop, which could lead to crashing into the car ahead. Or other drivers might be texting and driving, and they can swerve into your lane and you won’t even see them coming. Regardless of going at a slower speed, or being completely stopped, you can’t be aware of your surroundings if your eyes are glued to the screen.

3. Consider Apps That Monitor Driving

You can give your teen a tool to help them resist the temptation of texting and driving. AT&T has launched DriveMode, an app that helps curb the urge to text and drive. According to a study by AT&T, 90 percent of teens expect a reply to a text or email within five minutes or less, which puts pressure on them to respond while driving. If anyone texts your teen, the DriveMode program automatically sends a reply that lets the sender know that they are driving and can’t respond.

4. Give Your Teen Tips for Driving With Others

If your teen is driving with someone who is texting at the wheel, they may have a difficult time saying something for fear that they’ll be made fun of. According to a study conducted by the U.S. Department of Transportation, almost all respondents (about 90 percent) reported that they considered a driver who was sending or reading a text message as very unsafe. However, only about half of drivers under the age of 25 would say something to a driver who was sending a text message while driving. Here’s a good method for teens (and adults) to approach the situation:

If you’re comfortable enough with a direct approach, tell them it makes you nervous and uncomfortable, and that you’d like them to stop. Want a more subtle approach? Offer to type the text for them or point out things that they’ve missed seeing or have almost hit. If your friend makes fun of you for being nervous, then avoid riding with them. If they’re willing to put your lives in jeopardy for a simple text even after you’ve asked them to stop, they’re probably not someone you want to hang around.

Sources

Fight teenage texting addiction!  Grab this  instantly downloadable tool that presents a simple, effective, sure-fire, 100% guaranteed system for permanently reducing/eliminating your teen’s text habit.

http://www.distraction.gov/content/get-the-facts/facts-and-statistics.html

http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/article1268421.ece

Talk to Them About Internet Safety

Communicating with your child is one of the most important things that you can do as a parent. That is why you should talk to your teen about Internet safety. In addition to talking to your teen about Internet safety, you should also install an Internet filter on your computer. That will help block websites that contain questionable content. Furthermore, you should encourage your teen to talk to you if he or she is being threatened online.

Monitor Your Teen’s Social Networking Sites

Many teens today use Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites to meet people. These sites also contain predators. That is why you should tell your child to give you his or her password to the social networking site. You should check all of his or her social networking sites at least once a week. Your teen will not like it, but you should explain to him or her that it is for the best.

Do Not Allow Your Child To Have A Computer In His or Her Room

It will be much easier for you to keep tabs on what your teen is doing if the computer is in the family room. Additionally, your teen will be a lot less likely to do something that he or she is not supposed to do if the computer is in the family room.

Know Where Your Child Is Going

Some teens will try to meet up with people that they met online without telling their parents. That is why you should make sure that you know where your child is going at all times. If you get a feeling that your child is being dishonest, then you should not hesitate to pay a surprise visit.

Keeping your teens safe from the dangerous people online is a challenge. The good news is that talking to your child about Internet safety and monitoring your teen’s activity online will make this task easier. Furthermore, you should know where your child is going at all times.

*This is an informational article about keeping your teens safe online. If you want to know more about this or alternative school options, please read more articles on this website.*

Take a break!  If you and your teenager get into a heated discussion, take a break and walk away for a moment.  Encourage your child to do the same.  When you are both calmed down, you can finish discussing the issue.

Encourage your teen to identify what is happening.  Help your teenager recognize the signs of his/her bad moods, so he/she knows what is happening. Let them know that they aren’t alone and that mood swings happen to most people.

Exercise. It’s important for a healthy lifestyle and it can also release chemicals in the brain that improve moods and emotional health.  Encourage your teen to exercise on a regular basis, and to go for a walk or bike ride when they feel angered or depressed.

Support a healthy lifestyle in your home.  Getting enough rest and eating right goes a long way for anyone’s mood. This is also an opportunity for you, as the parent and role model, to represent a healthy lifestyle.

Let your teen’s creativity guide you.  Your teenager may not be able to express their feelings verbally, but they may be able to use creative methods such as drawing, painting, or writing to work through their feelings.

Allow your teen to wait out the mood. If your teen needs a good cry or to just space to pace around his/her room, give him/her the privacy to do it. Offer comfort and let your teen know you are there if he/she needs to talk.

Parenting expert and author of “Bullied,” Carrie Goldman shares her tips on helping your teen stand up to bullying in an online interview with Marlo Thomas. Here’s her takeaway:

• Tell your son or daughter to block and delete the bully from all social media sites immediately.
• Take screenshots of the hurtful material so you can bring it to the school, parents, authorities, etc.
• Never lash out on the bully — it will weaken your case. By responding to the bully, your teen could unknowingly become the bully as well.
• Use humor to deflect bullying.

Don’t Drink the ‘Cool-Aid’

Pastor Ed Young spoke to his congregation about bullying. He encourages people through his sermons to stop believing what society says about passivity and to start standing up to bullies. He mentioned that bullies are constant throughout your life — from the classroom to the boardroom. In order to beat the bullies, you need to stand up and take responsibility for your life; you can’t play the victim card. Instead, know that you “CAN” stand up for yourself. “‘C’ stands for confrontation: confront the bullies in your life. ‘A’ stands for being aware of the situation. ‘N’ stands for negotiating through the bully,” Ed Young noted.

“When our culture drinks ‘cool-aid,’ it pours in not only just sugar, but a whole bunch of victimization and they stir it around.”

Tattling

No one wants to be a tattletale, it has been ingrained into everyone’s mind since kindergarten. Teens strive so hard to fit in and be accepted, that tattling can make them look “uncool”. But when it comes to bullying, let your teen know not be afraid to talk about problems with anyone at school. That is exactly what the bully wants — not to be told on. Isolation is a bully’s best method of intimidation.

Teach your son or daughter that acting quicker, rather than later, allows the bully to loose their power. Once a bully no longer has power over their victim, they have no reason to bully anymore. Why? Because they no longer have the power to.

Assertive Behavior

Teach your teen assertive behavior. Show how to take calming breaths and teach them how to look a bully in the eye and say, “stop doing that” and simply walk away. Let your teen know that fighting is never an excuse; in some cases a bully will push and push until they get a reaction, then run to the nearest authority figure and play the victim card.

The National Crime Prevention Association recommends that you teach your teen early on about the confidence and support they need to be able to stand up to their peers by helping them develop these traits:

• Show safe ways to help others.
• Hold your teen accountable, teach them that if they stand around and watch someone else get bullied and they don’t do anything to help intervene, that they’re hurting the victims by not speaking up.
• Encourage your son or daughter to invite friends over. This will give you the chance to get to know their friends, making sure they’re a good influence.
• Help your teen develop social skills: encourage them to be friends with many different people.

Let Them Suffer Natural Consequences — Teenagers are old enough to take some responsibility for themselves including their schedule, what they wear, whether it is clean or not, and even if their teeth are brushed. It can be difficult to watch a teenager go out the door without a coat knowing it will be cold later. If Mom’s taxi or the bus leaves at a certain time and the teenager isn’t ready, he or she misses school, walks, or foots the cost for a cab. It’s concerning when your teenage son looks like he has not bathed in weeks, but sooner or later his peers will ensure that he does. You won’t even be able to get him out of the shower. It will only take a couple of times to suffer the natural consequence of the action, and then learn the right thing to do.

Let Them Get A Job — Even young teenagers can do various jobs from extra chores around the house, to babysitting, to lawn mowing to earn money for extras. It’s important that you define extras and make it clear that you’re not responsible for buying those extras whether it’s more than two movies a month, or shoes that cost more than 35 dollars. If you define what you will do, then they can better understand why it’s important to earn money. If they’re job age, let them get a job outside of school and home because this will make them feel independent when they get to put their very own check into their very own checking account. Then they’ll also learn by the responsibility of keeping track of that money. Make sure that money is for more than just pizza and games too. Make them responsible for a portion of their needs too.

Let Them Do Their Own Homework  — You’d be shocked at how many parents are still sitting down with their teenager and going over every single page of homework with them. This is a huge mistake. You won’t be with them at college, and they’ll be expected to do everything themselves. In fact, unless your teenager is getting into a lot of trouble at school, and extra supervision is in order due to a disability, it’s best if you stay out of this completely. You already went to school. It’s their turn. Help a bit if directly asked, but if you can direct them how to find the help elsewhere too. For instance the Khan Academy is a free online resource where you can watch videos of many different types of lectures, especially Math. Giving them the tools to work on their own is going to teach them to be responsible for their own learning.

Give Them Household Chores – Even if an older teen has a job outside the home, all children should have chores they do without expectation of payment just for the reason that they are part of the family. You do household chores without compensation. They should do. It will teach them how to be independent and respectful roommates someday. A good rule of thumb is that anything in their room or that is theirs should be cleaned, washed, and handled only by them for free. But also, common communal areas such as the kitchen, living room, bathroom, etc… should also be kept clean and organized by all members of the family. Have a weekly communal chore rotation so everyone gets to learn how to clean the toilet and take out the trash.

Additional Resource: Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen This toolkit offers parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

Even if you feel like you’ve made some mistakes as a parent, don’t despair. There are definitely things you can do to raise positive children. Children are very resilient and learn quickly. Here are a few tips you can follow to raise children  that are optimistic and creative.

 Model positive reactions. The adage goes, “more things are caught than taught.” In other words, if you become angry and begin yelling when you’re stressed, children will mirror what you do. Conversely, if your teen(s) see you react positively no matter what the circumstances, they will believe this is the correct way to act in response to stressors and situations in life.

Use good, positive and uplifting words when speaking to them and others as well as when you speak about others. No one likes to be fussed at and made to feel bad about what someone says to or about them. Be sure to use positive words and your teen will likely follow suit.

More information on positive reactions listed here other Great Resources for Parenting of Teens

Keep a positive mindset. So, are you a glass half full or a glass half empty type of person? People with a half-full mindset will try to see the good in every person and situation. On the other hand, those who see the glass half empty will be more negative. If you do your best to try to find the silver lining in the rain clouds of life, your children may do the same.  Accentuate the positive. Try to think of things you can do to draw attention to the positive no matter what has happened. No, you don’t have to be like Sappy Susie who acts like nothing ever goes wrong, but it can greatly influence your children if you acknowledge the negative but focus on the positive.

Nurture your child’s self-esteem. You don’t want to offer praise that is undeserved, but when they do something that is worthy of praise, be sure they know it. Be careful not to use demeaning words when providing instruction. Children may not know what it means to be condescending, but they can recognize it when they hear it.

 Catch your teen being compassionate or courteous. This is similar to nurturing their self-esteem. When you see your teen displaying compassion, let them know how much you appreciate it. Praise them for taking their responsibilities seriously when they do their chores without being reminded.

Encourage your teens’s dreams. If your daughter dreams of being a ballerina and she’s a little bit heavy, don’t discourage her. Take her to the ballet and talk about how healthy ballerinas have to be. This may give her the confidence she needs to learn to take better care of herself. If your son wants to play baseball, let Dad take him to the ballpark and play ball with him in the backyard.

Laugh at yourself. Sometimes, even when things seem their worst, it helps to look at things and laugh. Obviously every situation won’t warrant laughter, but it may help to release stress and put things into perspective.

Every parent wants their children to be helpful, positive and compassionate. Following some of these tips will help you raise positive children by keeping it positive.

Grab Some great Free Resources Here