Parenting My Teen

From the time your child started showing that he or she had a mind of their own you’ve had to practice some sort of discipline. Whether you practice natural consequences, corporal punishment or another method entirely, the fact is the best way to discipline a teenager is to be consistent.

Being consistent means that you do what you say you will and follow through, each and every single time. A child who experiences this type of parenting will, by the time he or she reaches the teen years, become almost self-disciplining. But, if you’ve been lax in the consistency department, don’t lose heart, it’s not too late.

Here are the best ways to discipline teenagers:

Hold a family meeting – Get your children together and have a family meeting. During this meeting you’ll explain your new parenting technique of consistency.  Then let them help you with the rest of the meeting.

Form a plan together – Together you and your teenager(s) will form a plan to deal with both positive and negative situations. This way, your teen will know what to expect. When teens know what to expect, and you don’t disappoint them, they learn to trust you more.

Choose natural consequences – With your teenager, choose what the consequences of various actions will be in advance. Don’t forget positive consequences as well as negative consequences. Each action should garner a reaction that makes sense.

Be realistic – Never create a consequence that is completely unrealistic. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, discipline or praise, if you cannot see it through, don’t promise it If you always create consequences that are natural effects of your teenager’s actions, you’ll have a lot more success.

Stand firm – Your teenagers will test your resolve. Stand firm and stick to what you said you’d do, if you don’t do it, there is no point in even starting. Teenagers need you to be dependable; it makes their world feel safe and complete.

Firm but not inflexible – Have regular family meetings in order to adjust consequence and rewards as needed. Some families like to have weekly meetings, others monthly. It’s up to you how you do this but having regular meetings to see how everything is working will increase your chances for success.

Remember the goal – When you are wavering in your resolve always think about the ultimate goal of being more consistent with your teen: Raising an adult who has self-control, is reliable, and is a productive citizen.

With a little practice you can bring consistency to your discipline methods which will increase the chances of success of that method exponentially. You may also find that you no longer need harsher methods of punishment to get the same results. You’ll be able to get away from constant criticism when you create a plan with the teenager about consequences. When teenagers get a say in discipline matters they tend to choose better behavior.

Give it a try for 90 days, do what you say you will do, and be clear about what that means with your teenager. Let me know how it works for you.

For more info on the the best way to discipline a teenager, visit the links below:

Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen This toolkit offers parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

Visit Out of Control Teen to learn more about how you can help a teen that shows signs of trouble.

Today, many teens are diagnosed with depression, and even more suffer from it without ever speaking to a professional. There are several different causes for teen depression, and this disorder is often something that shows up before a teen attempts suicide. This is why screening for depression in teens is so important and why it is being performed at so many pediatrician offices today. If a teen is showing symptoms of depression, it is important to talk to their parent and get the teen some help. Over 50% of teens with depression do not seek therapy or medical attention. Thus, parents should keep a close eye out for any signs of depression in their children and be proactive getting help for them. Below are three major causes and contributors of teen depression.

Teen Peer Pressure

Teens today face a lot of stressful circumstances on a day to day basis. Teens may feel isolated, different from others and tormented by peer pressure. This is a major factor leading to teen depression. Today, problems such as violence, gossip and bullying are a big part of the peer pressures teens’ face. Since a teens’ brain is not completely developed, they do not have all the logical skills to know how to work through these situations of peer pressure.

Various Life Changes

Teens who face a lot of changes in their lives may suffer more bouts of depression. Some teens face major life changes such as death in the family, divorce of parents, relocation away from good friends and loss of a friendship that puts a great amount of stress on the teen. Teens tend to overreact to stressful circumstances and changes in life. This can cause a lot of negative feelings, thinking and eventually depression.

Drugs, Alcohol and Negativity

When teens abuse drugs and alcohol, it often leads to depression. Because alcohol is a depressant, it will impact the mind which leads to depression. Drug use can also impair the mind of a teen so that it does not function properly which can lead to depression. When teens are depressed, they limit their social interaction, their grades might drop and they might attempt suicide or drop out of school. Many teens will begin to fight with their peers and parents. When teens are stressed and abusing drugs and alcohol, it makes them think negatively. Consequently, this leads to depression.

Prevention

Teens must work on focusing on the more positive aspects of their lives and try to avoid the causes of depression. It is helpful for teens to spend more time with achievement-oriented and positive friends. By participating in activities and hobbies that bring happiness, the teen will help prevent depression. Some of the other ways to prevent teen depression is by getting enough sleep, talking to a parent, guidance counselor or doctor if stressed out or in crisis mode, avoiding thoughts that are pessimistic, avoiding listening to music that is depressing or about suicide, staying away from friends who are involved with drugs and alcohol and by eating a balanced, healthy diet.

Action

Make sure you communicate that teens should never be afraid to reach out to a teacher, parent or medical professional when they feel depressed. Explain why making an appointment with a therapist to talk about depression symptoms is helpful. It may be awkward or seem unnecessary, but it could very well save a life, so make it a point to articulate the resources available to the teen(s) in your life.

Katherine Jennings writes about parenting, mental health and education. Her best work discusses online psychology degrees.

The weight of a high SAT score might seem insignificant if pricey tuition isn’t a problem and your student can boast a transcript filled with As, a resume filled with part-time jobs, an active social life and a leadership position in high school. But SAT scores do more than award your teen with scholarship money and ensure he or she will get into a local university. According to a recent Forbes.com article, a higher SAT score can mean a higher salary in the future.

How Important Is Your SAT Score?

Though admissions offices are generally tight lipped about exactly how much SAT scores matter, we know high school grades and participation, ethnicity and family educational history play a large part in determining college admittance, along with standardized test scores and personal application essays.

But what if your student is like the younger-version of Bob Parsons? For those who are unaware, Parsons is the founder of the Internet hosting site GoDaddy.com. What if your student is focused, driven and gets decent grades, but doesn’t stand out on paper?

If your student fits into the all-American average student with a respectable GPA, reasonable amount of club activity and successful parents who attended college themselves, he or she is likely to be accepted to several universities of his or her choice. In this case, it isn’t first-generation education pursuits or family background that will set your child apart. Admittance is inevitable, but to which university is questionable; here lies the value of good SAT prep.

The Stats

Found on PayScale.com is median starting salary data and median mid-career salary data for bachelors degree graduates of most U.S. colleges and universities. Paired with the Chronicle of Higher Education, which has a searchable tuition database, and schools that provide the 25^th and 75^th percentiles (usually called the “middle 50 percent”) of their admitted students’ SAT scores, college hopefuls can easily narrow their university choices based on SAT scores, tuition price and future salary expectations.

Take for example the scenario in the Forbes’ article: a student’s SAT scores are 1700, which puts her in a good position for admission to Adelphi University where the middle percent SAT scores fall between 1480-1780. According to PayScale.com, the median salary for graduates right out of college is $46,000 and grows to $83,500 mid career.

But, with that SAT score, she might not make it into her preferred school, Stony Brook University, which has a middle percent of 1660-1970. PayScale lists Stony Brook graduates’ median pay to be $45,800 out of college and $91,000 mid career.

SAT Prep

In this situation, how much would it be worth to pay for SAT prep classes and what might be the value of a score increase? According to Forbes, more than $100,000 in future earnings.

With that data in hand, selecting a university to attend becomes much easier and SAT preparation has more purpose. This information can help students and families decide which is more suitable for them: a university that admits applicants with lower SAT scores but averages less pay for its graduates or a university that requires higher test scores but averages more pay. The two don’t always go hand in hand, but often the higher the SAT score the higher the chance of getting into a university that produces graduates earning higher median salaries.

“For almost everyone except test prep professionals, actual scores wont be worth a hill of beans once acceptance letters are sent out,” said Mike McClenathan from Forbes. “But where those acceptance letters come from might or might not be worth a great deal.”

Tips and Tools

To help teenagers stay motivated to study, encourage a variety of practice. Besides just taking tests online, students can download SAT practice apps on their mobile devices. Yourteacher.com’s SAT app focuses on math while Superkids.com offers SAT vocabulary flashcards and matching games to help students study and learn more than 1,000 words frequently found on the test. Another popular app that is said to be less fun but more helpful is the Princeton Review’s SAT Score Quest for iPad. Offering abbreviated practice tests for each of the SAT’s subjects math, writing and critical reading the app can help students realize possible areas of weakness. The app also lists the logic behind each correct answer and teaches strategy for answering questions.

Many parents warn their children about the dangers of driving under the influence, but the same warning should be given about distracted driving. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration notes that texting while driving is six times more dangerous than driving while intoxicated.

Many teens assume that they can handle texting and driving, yet the statistics suggest otherwise. Eleven percent of all divers under the age of 20 involved in fatal crashes were reported as distracted at the time of the crash. This age group has the largest proportion of drivers who were distracted, and crashes are the leading cause of teen deaths.

Only 39 states have laws against distracted driving, and states without them are starting to take action. Tampa held a summit for Florida’s first distracted driving summit in early November to address issues such as cell phone policies, traumatic injuries and teen education. The proposed bill and new laws could decrease the number of statewide and Tampa personal injury cases, serious medical complications, and lost lives due to automobile accidents.

Regardless of state laws, teens are still texting behind the wheel and putting themselves, and others, at risk for a serious or fatal accident. Teens and adults should put their phones down and focus on the road. Here are a few tips on how you can help your teen stop the habit that could cost them their lives.

1. Be a Role Model

Teenagers are more likely to text and drive if their parents do it, according to a study by SADD. When you’re in the car with your teenager, or family, make sure your focus is on the road. Texting on your cell phone doubles your reaction time. If you use your cell phone while driving, your teens may think it’s okay for them to use theirs when they’re behind the wheel.

2. Don’t Even Text at Red Lights

Just because your car is stopped doesn’t mean you’re not posing a dangerous threat to other drivers, and yourself. Some people start texting as they are rolling to a stop, which could lead to crashing into the car ahead. Or other drivers might be texting and driving, and they can swerve into your lane and you won’t even see them coming. Regardless of going at a slower speed, or being completely stopped, you can’t be aware of your surroundings if your eyes are glued to the screen.

3. Consider Apps That Monitor Driving

You can give your teen a tool to help them resist the temptation of texting and driving. AT&T has launched DriveMode, an app that helps curb the urge to text and drive. According to a study by AT&T, 90 percent of teens expect a reply to a text or email within five minutes or less, which puts pressure on them to respond while driving. If anyone texts your teen, the DriveMode program automatically sends a reply that lets the sender know that they are driving and can’t respond.

4. Give Your Teen Tips for Driving With Others

If your teen is driving with someone who is texting at the wheel, they may have a difficult time saying something for fear that they’ll be made fun of. According to a study conducted by the U.S. Department of Transportation, almost all respondents (about 90 percent) reported that they considered a driver who was sending or reading a text message as very unsafe. However, only about half of drivers under the age of 25 would say something to a driver who was sending a text message while driving. Here’s a good method for teens (and adults) to approach the situation:

If you’re comfortable enough with a direct approach, tell them it makes you nervous and uncomfortable, and that you’d like them to stop. Want a more subtle approach? Offer to type the text for them or point out things that they’ve missed seeing or have almost hit. If your friend makes fun of you for being nervous, then avoid riding with them. If they’re willing to put your lives in jeopardy for a simple text even after you’ve asked them to stop, they’re probably not someone you want to hang around.

Sources

Fight teenage texting addiction!  Grab this  instantly downloadable tool that presents a simple, effective, sure-fire, 100% guaranteed system for permanently reducing/eliminating your teen’s text habit.

http://www.distraction.gov/content/get-the-facts/facts-and-statistics.html

http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/article1268421.ece

Today, more people are forming friendships and relationships via the Internet. Even though the Internet is a great way to meet new people, it can also be a very dangerous place for a teen. Fortunately, there are a number of ways that you can keep your teen safe from the dangers of online relationships. Below are some tips that will help you keep your child safe:

Talk to Them About Internet Safety

Communicating with your child is one of the most important things that you can do as a parent. That is why you should talk to your teen about Internet safety. In addition to talking to your teen about Internet safety, you should also install an Internet filter on your computer. That will help block websites that contain questionable content. Furthermore, you should encourage your teen to talk to you if he or she is being threatened online.

Monitor Your Teen’s Social Networking Sites

Many teens today use Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites to meet people. These sites also contain predators. That is why you should tell your child to give you his or her password to the social networking site. You should check all of his or her social networking sites at least once a week. Your teen will not like it, but you should explain to him or her that it is for the best.

Do Not Allow Your Child To Have A Computer In His or Her Room

It will be much easier for you to keep tabs on what your teen is doing if the computer is in the family room. Additionally, your teen will be a lot less likely to do something that he or she is not supposed to do if the computer is in the family room.

Know Where Your Child Is Going

Some teens will try to meet up with people that they met online without telling their parents. That is why you should make sure that you know where your child is going at all times. If you get a feeling that your child is being dishonest, then you should not hesitate to pay a surprise visit.

Keeping your teens safe from the dangerous people online is a challenge. The good news is that talking to your child about Internet safety and monitoring your teen’s activity online will make this task easier. Furthermore, you should know where your child is going at all times.

*This is an informational article about keeping your teens safe online. If you want to know more about this or alternative school options, please read more articles on this website.*