When our children are young we have a large say in their lives. They look up to us with awe and love. When our children grow, they still love us, but rather than looking at mom or dad for advice, they turn to others. If you’re worried about peer pressure, teen cliques and how to deal with them, here are our top tips:

1. Reinforce your family values. Children have an inner need to belong to a group. By letting your child feel early on in life that your family is their own group, you create strong family foundations. Refer to your family as “the family name” to reinforce your values as a whole. For example – we are the Connors and “the Connors” don’t smoke or “the Connors” don’t use aggression to resolve problems.

If your children hear you saying these statements or similar from early on, they learn that they are indeed part of a bigger group – your family unit. Regularly speak to your children about the world and situations and your thoughts on those topics. By allowing your children to see how you view the world you give them a glimpse into what is important to the family as a whole.

2. Build up their self-esteem. Teens often join cliques or are pressured into situations because they feel bad about themselves. While this isn’t always the case and sometimes teens just want to “fit in” or “be cool,” it’s often a factor. Let your teen know what their strengths are. When our children are little we often praise the many things they do – we clap when they take their first steps or say their first word. However, as our children grow our praise tends to diminish.

While you don’t have to clap for every little thing your teen does, they still need praise and to know they’re doing things right. Let your child know you’re proud of them and that you love them. Acknowledge their accomplishments. Some days the only positive thing you may find is the simple act of putting their dishes away, but by saying a simple “thanks, I appreciate you putting your plate away” you let them know that you notice even the small positive things they do.

If your child suffers from severe low self-esteem, it may be wise to seek help from a professional. Low self-esteem may lead to other issues such as depression and can wreak havoc in your teen’s life.

3. Don’t worry about the little things. While you have every right to be concerned if you feel your child is getting in with the wrong crowd, sometimes as parents we have a tendency to overreact. If your teen dyes their hair green, this doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re doing drugs or are ready to drop out of school. Speak to your child; it may be that they are simply experimenting or finding “their style.”

Teens get to a stage where they’re trying to find their feet and their independence in a grown-up world. It’s important to give them a little space to figure this out. It’s also important to trust that as a parent you have already set strong foundations for your child. Now may be time to sit back and show some faith in them.

However, if you do feel at any time that your teen is in trouble or has gotten into the wrong crowd, it is important to act on those feelings. No one knows your child better than you. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts as a parent and take action.

Teen got you frazzled?  Click here for real guidance right now

More articles on this topic: Helping Teens Deal with Peer Pressure, Dealing with Peer Pressure, Teen Peer Pressure

One of the common worries as parents of teens can be abusive relationships. This is a sensitive topic to approach with your teen, but well worth the effort. Even if you don’t suspect that your teen is in such a relationship, it’s important to speak to them about the possibilities and what they can do if they find themselves in an abusive relationship.

Be open and honest. The more open and honest we are as parents, the more positive connections we will form with our teens. Sit down with your teen in a quiet spot at a convenient time and ask them about their thoughts on the subject. Your teen may very well surprise you with their maturity and serious response to the matter.

Let your child know that you care about them and want them to know how to get help if they or someone they know is ever faced with this situation. By approaching your teen in an honest and caring way, you let them know you are on their side – something teenagers often struggle with.

Get involved. As our children grow it gets more difficult to remain a part of their lives. By regularly getting involved and being part of your child’s life, it will be easier to pick up on signals of an abusive relationship. Speak to your teen’s teachers and stay on top of their school activities. Know your teen’s friends and their parents. The closer you are to their “inner circle” the better your chances of staying in contact and knowing when to step in as a parent.

Another good way to stay connected with your teens is to make your home the “safe haven” for them and their friends. This doesn’t mean that rules don’t apply or that you will be more of a friend rather than a parent. But by providing a non-judgmental place for your teen and their friends to hang out, you get an inner view into their life and know the people they spend possibly large portions of time with.

Setting fair but firm boundaries will let everyone know that rules do apply, but that they are welcome in your house. By providing activities such as movie nights and lots of food as well as a little privacy for your teens and their friends, you provide a place they’ll want to come to.

Know when to take action. Abusive relationships are no laughing matter. A teen involved in this type of relationship is in real danger. If you do suspect that your teen or one of their friends is involved in such a relationship, it may be time to take action.

Speak to your child and their friends and other parents. Find out everything you can about the situation and act quickly. And although a teen in such a relationship may initially resist help or see the parent as the “bad” one, the main thing to focus on now is helping your teen remain safe.

If your teen has been involved in an abusive relationship, it may be wise to seek counseling. This is a trauma that may last with them for many years. By getting counseling early on you can start to help heal the wounds.

Honest Parenting: is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.

Stories of violent teens are in the news regularly. Violent teens cause problems with their peers, family members, and even with strangers. There is no limit to a violent teen’s capabilities, and as a parent of a violent teen, it can seem overwhelming to be on the receiving end of their violence. These troubled teens commit random acts of violence as well as cold, calculated serious crimes, including murder. There have been numerous school shootings and problems with kids carrying guns to school threatening other students. It seems as if there is nothing off limits now for teens expressing their anger and acting out in violence.

Causes of Teen Violence

There are endless possibilities for causes of teen violence, including racism, drugs and alcohol, taunting and teasing, or a disadvantaged home life. Mental and chemical imbalances can also play a role in teen violence. Teens are frustrated and feel that they aren’t understood. It is irrelevant to them that, as parents, you were once teens too. In many ways, the difficulty is understandable. There are a lot of pressures put on teens: They have to get good grades; they have the pressures to fit in with friends and class mates. Teens have relationship issues. Depression can also play a part with violent teens. Many teens just don’t know where to turn for help with their overwhelming emotions.

Accepting the Reality of the Situation

We need to realize in our society that violent teens are a real threat. We have to stop underestimating the feelings and abilities of violent teens. Parents and other authoritative figures in a teen’s life must stay aware and not ignore warning signs. As exposure to violence has increased, so has teen violence. Teens act out to express feelings that they otherwise don’t know how to articulate. We have to help teens find words to express the way they feel to decrease the chances that they will act out their feelings in violence.

Information and Education

As parents you must take the initiative to educate yourself on the resources available in your community. There are support groups and classes you can take to increase both your knowledge and the knowledge that you are able to impart to your teens. It is not sufficient to simply tell your teens that violence is not an acceptable way to express feelings. You have to give them the tools and resources that will ensure their success. As much as you need to encourage the use of appropriate coping skills, it also has to be made clear that violence will simply not be tolerated. The earlier in life this idea is introduced and enforced will make it that much less likely to prove to be a problem as kids get older and are faced with more difficult situations.

Anger Management Skills

There are several simple ideas that can help diffuse the emotions of violent teens.

•Breathing exercises
•Anger management classes
•Counseling
•Parental support and communication
•Exercise

Parents and caregivers need to partner together to provide the best possible support system for our teens. We have to get our violent teens under control for the safety of our society and the future well being and quality of life for next generations.

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If you believe your teen should wait until they are married or an adult to have sex, how can you protect your child and teach them to abstain? When teens know the rules of their house and what you expect of them, more likely than not, they will abide by those rules. Whether we believe it or not, our children want and need our guidance and direction and will often follow our example.

If you believe your teen should wait to have sex, here are some things you can do to ensure that he or she does.

1. Don’t allow your teen to be alone with another teen or young adult of the opposite sex, even if they claim to be “just friends”.  Too many times, one thing leads to another and soon enough you’re teen is pregnant or has an STD, not to mention the emotional bondage that occurs when two people have sex.
2. Allow group dating only and with friends who hold the same beliefs as you. And don’t just trust your teen to tell you their friends believe the same way you do; ask them yourself, get to know their parents and actually spend some time with your kids friends.
3. Teach your child about the dangers of sex before marriage. One in 4 teen girls has an STD. That’s right, one in 4. Those STD’s don’t just spread by themselves. Teenagers are having sex and passing diseases around like it’s no big deal.
4. Monitor their cell phone use. Teens today have more access than ever to each other and often engage in “sexting”. Sexting is using a cell phone’s text messaging system to have sexual conversations with members of the opposite (or same) sex. If a cell phone is equipped with a camera and photo sending and receiving, teens can also take photos of themselves nude and ‘text’ them to other people and vice versa.
5. Monitor computer use. With today’s computer technology, our teens have more access than ever to their friends and other people. Know who your teen’s friends are on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter. Check the history of your computer often. If it’s wiped out, then be suspicious and question. Put monitoring software on your home computer as well as your teen’s laptop if applicable.

Don’t assume teen pregnancy or an STD won’t happen to your teenager. As parents, we must protect and teach our children if we want them to grow up healthy, happy and successful. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

If you’re teen is already having sex, is pregnant or has an STD and you’d like help dealing with it and guidance for you and your teen, click here.

As an adult, being overweight is hard enough. But, being overweight or obese as a teenager is even tougher. There is peer pressure to contend with, teasing from classmates or bullies, and that overwhelming feeling of not fitting in. Not to mention how it affects self esteem, confidence and their health. Here are some ways you can help your overweight or obese teen lose weight.

1. Begin by keeping healthier foods in the house. Swap out those little cakes, cookies and ice cream for healthier snacks like nuts, raw veggies and fruit.
2. Challenge your teen to a weight loss competition. If you’re overweight, you two could start a weight loss journey together. Whoever loses the most percentage of body mass over a specified period of time, wins. You two can decide what the prize is, but make it fun and challenging enough to be worthwhile.
3. Ask your teen to start walking with you. Not only is this great exercise, but it’s also a great way to spend time talking.
4. If you can afford it, get your teen and a friend a gym membership together. Working out is always more fun with a friend.
5. Teach your teen proper portion control. We are so bombarded with ads that teach us we have to eat huge amounts of food in order to feel satisfied, but the truth is we only need the actual serving size listed on the package label. One key to succeeding at this is to serve meals on smaller plates and bowls.

Obviously you never want your teen to feel as if you don’t love or accept them the way they are so approaching their weight issue should be handled with care and love. Some of the changes mentioned above can simply be done without saying a word, such as number 1 and number 5. If you’re not sure how to approach your teens weigh issue, you may find it beneficial to get some outside guidance.