Parenting My Teen

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Teenagers want parents to be involved in their lives

By: Aurelia Category: Family, Parenting A Teen, Teen Emotional Health, Teen General Health

(BPT) – Today’s changing social environment and confusing messages about drugs and alcohol may be making it even more difficult for teenagers to get their bearings as they move toward adulthood. That is why it is more important than ever for parents to know what is going on in their kids’ lives and have the skills to respond to their teens appropriately.

Specifically, as drugs and alcohol are becoming more accessible and more states are legalizing marijuana, many teens may believe that the use of marijuana or other substances is now okay. Parents should know that legalization of marijuana does not mean it is harmless, and increased availability of other substances does not make them less harmful, either. Marijuana and other substances can cause permanent damage to the teenage brain, and teens can become addicted more quickly than adults.

This is a time when parents need to become involved in their teens’ lives and help them navigate these complex issues. While many parents may think of their teens as grown-ups and able to fully take care of themselves, teenagers have said that this is a time when they need their parents the most. Asking questions and being involved shows teenagers that their parents care.

“Even though teens may sometimes indicate otherwise, through my experience as a psychiatrist to teenagers, I have found that most of them want their parents involved in their lives to provide guidance and support,” says Dr. Thomas Wright, chief medical officer at Rosecrance, one of the country’s leading teen substance abuse treatment centers. “Teens want their parents to actively parent them and provide them guidance they need, including direction around substances.”

Studies have shown that parents who play an active role in the lives of their teens can positively impact their children’s behavior and influence them to cease or abstain from ever using substances. In contrast, research shows that teens whose parents expect them to engage in risky behaviors such as drinking and using drugs are more likely to do so.

“It is critical that parents understand their role and take conscious measures to support their teens in living a healthy and happy life,” Wright says. “Parents should ask what their teens are doing, address the pressures they are facing, act immediately when they suspect their teen is in trouble, and advocate for help if their teen needs it to help them live a healthy life.”

Starting a conversation with a teen about substances can be daunting. It can be even more overwhelming for a parent when their teenage child approaches them with questions before they have had a chance to prepare. For a helpful guide to talking with a teenager about marijuana visit www.rosecrance.org/teens-weed.

Be sure to check out Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen to grab some additional parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

Do You Tell Your Teens About Your Past

By: Aurelia Category: Parenting A Teen

Raising teens can be quiet challenging. Thankfully, if you’ve laid the ground work when they were little, the teen years don’t have to be so trifling.  Regardless, you have to remember that teenagers will at times mess up. They will make poor choices due to having a poor level of experience with which to compare to come to the right answers. Plus, their frontal lobes don’t close until close to age 23 in many cases. 

As to sharing your past with your teenagers there are two schools of thought. One side says no way, that teen have no right to know your private business and the other side says yes, share if it comes up, or if you’re asked directly. The side that believes honesty is the best policy says to explain what you did right as well as what you did wrong, and how you felt about it. Most people do not feel that it’s necessary to tell teenagers the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but that it’s okay to share as needed to give a teenager the benefit of your experiences both good and bad. I tend to agree with the 2nd idea. Share, but don’t be too specific

Sharing information with teenagers can be very tricky, especially if you want them to do something different from what you did. For instance, most parents don’t want their children to have sex as teenagers, but the fact is — most parents made the choice to have sex as teenagers (statistically speaking). Many parents opt to lie to their children about when they had sex the first time because, frankly, they feel hypocritical. As teenagers debate within themselves the age old question of “Who am I?” and “What kind of person do I want to be?”, it’s also important to help them understand that time passes and as you learn more your thoughts change. But, every situation is a learning experience, good or bad and your job is to help them see the lessons rather than sit in judgment of them.

One thing you need to understand is that you’re not required to tell your kids everything about you. It’s your personal business. By not sharing every detail you’re not lying, and you’re not hiding anything either. But, also remember that your children are also not required to tell you everything about them at all times. While we wish they would, they aren’t going to. You have to remember that no matter how much you share with your children they will still believe they are different. Teenagers often believe they’re smarter and more invincible than anyone else. It is a common issue with teenagers. Plus, if you did it and somehow “got away with it” meaning you had no negative consequences they might believe they’re even more likely to escape consequenc

So, the answer to the question is that it really depends. If you feel comfortable sharing information with your teens, do so. But, remember they’re still different from you and there is no way you can understand exactly how they feel about any given situation. You can only understand how you feel. You can relate those feelings, and ask good questions to get your kids sharing with you, but you’ll never be the same as your kids. Times are different, society is different, and in some cases even harsher. What you might have gotten away with as a teenager, might be a zero tolerance issue today.  So, it’s much more important to share with teenagers the possible consequences of certain decisions in general than to share specifically your own.

Be sure to grab your copy of Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen!  This toolkit offers parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

Plan a Special Day with Your Teenager

By: Mary Lutz Category: Family, Parenting A Teen

When your children are small, it’s easy to spend time with them.  You have so much to teach them and they’re like little sponges soaking up all of your love and attention.  Unfortunately, as your children grow up, they become busy and it gets harder to make the time for them.  It’s gets even harder to plan a special day with your teenager once they reach their mid to late teens.

Spending quality time together is important for children, of course, but your teenager needs that time, too.  Your schedules may not make it possible to get together very often, but it is definitely worth it for both of you to make the effort.

If your teen is the same sex, it may be easier to plan a special day to spend with them.  Let’s face it, if you’re a mom and you have a teen daughter, just mentioning shopping can open the door for your day, especially if you’re buying.  Take the time to really talk and listen while you’re walking around the store or mall.  You may find that your teenage daughter is willing to share more when she’s relaxed.

Offer to invite some of your teen’s friends over for an afternoon, but with a prerequisite:  they have to help you plan and prepare for the afternoon.  Maybe your teen’s friends have wanted to watch a particular movie, sporting event, or play a certain computer console game.  Allow your teen to invite a set number of friends.  Have your teen help prepare the food.  Cooking together is a great way to spend quality time with your teen.

Perhaps you have more than one teenager.  Set aside one day each month for one or the other parent to take a teen out on a “date” of sorts.  Plan to take them to eat at their favorite restaurant, within reason, and do something they enjoy.  You may realize that your teen loves a certain activity that you weren’t aware of.

Think of others.  Quite often families and individuals will volunteer their time during the holidays to serve meals at a soup kitchen.  Why not find out if there are volunteer activities you can do all throughout the year.  Volunteering will help your teen learn to think of others who may not have as many benefits as they do.

Is your teenager just learning how to drive?  Why not take the time to let them practice driving while they drive to lunch?  Be sure you’re rested and relaxed before you leave so the planned special day doesn’t turn into a terrible experience.

Your teenager needs to know that they are important to you, probably more than when they were children.  Plan a special day with your teenager and you may be able to keep the lines of communication open with them.  Remember that they need you now more than ever, whether they show it or not.

Yes, it is possible to understand your teen! Click to instantly learn how.

What Every Parent of a Teen Must Know

By: Aurelia Category: Parenting A Teen

Parenting Your TeenHopefully by now you’ve picked up yoru copy of Parenting Your Teen – What Every Parent Must Know if not, be sure to grab it up today.  Written in a straightforward, easy-to-understand style, Parenting Your Teen provides the steps to a better relationship with your teenager which can be instantly applied by anyone. It’s an excellent book that can literally turn things around with your teen.

Here’s just  a small sample of what you’ll discover:

The #1 Principle of parenting teens that is actually overlooked by 99% of all programs. You’re wasting alot of energy unless you know this.

The 3 Critical ‘Rules’ of Parenting Teenagers.

Exactly what it’s like to be a teenager today and how you can use this knowledge to better relate to and understand your teenager.

The things parents say that actually push teens further away and what to say instead so that they’ll listen, consider your suggestions, and open up to you.

The one thing that you are doing right now and must stop immediately that has been proven to create a thick barrier between parents and teens, encourage stress, and increase your level of frustration.

Plus much more.

Learn to Overcome Even The Worst Current Relationship Situation– Many struggling parents who thought that the relationship they had with their teen was “gone for good” have routinely made 180 degree turns and totally transformed their relationship with their teenager using this breakthrough program.

Grab your copy today HERE.  It comes with a 2 month, unconditional 100% money back guarantee!  They are so sure that you will love this program and experience awesome results from it, that they are willing to give you your money back if you aren’t entirely satisfied. There’s absolutely no risk for you, whatsoever!

6 Tips for Making Your Teen-Parent Relationship Work

By: Mary Lutz Category: Parenting A Teen, Teen Emotional Health

As your child approaches their teen years, you’ll begin to notice some changes in him. He will probably be expressing his desire to be out of the house more often and will want to keep his privacy from you. Other times, he may not be listening to you nor doing what you ask him. Many parents experience the same issues when dealing with their teens, but don’t worry, they are perfectly normal. Here are some tips for making your teen-parent relationship work.

Just like when you were a teenager, your son or daughter prefers to spend time with their friends rather than with parents or family. This is perfectly normal and part of their inherent desire to be more independent. The key is to allow them some freedom, while setting some reasonable boundaries. These boundaries might include: a set time to be home, no going out with friends until homework is done, knowing where they’re going and who they’re going with, and if plans change, they are to call you and ask for permission. By setting boundaries, you teen is allowed some freedom, and you feel safe letting them experience that freedom.

Talk with your teen. It might be easier if you start the conversation. It can be as easy as “How was your day, buddy?” Try to discuss things instead of interrogating him. Find interesting topics, such as sports, entertainment, friends, and school experiences to make it relaxing. Often teens feel alienated from their parents and parents feel intimidated by their teen simply because they don’t ever talk.

Listen to him. If  your teen seems critical towards you, listen to him and ask what he expects from you. Talk about this calmly and not emotionally. It’s good for him to be able to express his feelings.

Set rules for your teen. Your teen needs to recognize what is and isn’t acceptable and what the consequences of misbehavior are. Therefore you should set or negotiate some rules with your teen to keep him on track.

Consider his point of view. Respect his opinion whenever you discuss something. This also shows that you pay attention to him and consider him as important.

Encourage your teen by engaging in his interests and talent. Most teens like to try new things so allow your teen choose what he desires to be involved in. The best way to show your support is simply by being there. If they are involved in a sport, go to as many games as possible. If it’s drama or choir, attend as many plays and recitals as you possibly can, for example.

Do things together. This one is surely a great opportunity for you to improve your relationship with your teen. Ask your teen what they’d enjoy doing with you, then do it. It may be as simple as them showing you their newest video game or going to the mall. No matter what it is, spending that time with your teen is priceless, and those moments will soon be gone as they go off to college and into adulthood.

Additional Resources:

Parenting Your Teen Program – learn how to handle your teenager and all situations involving him or her in a true “WIN-WIN” Manner and develop the co-operative, down-to-earth, frustration-free relationship that you’ve always wanted.

Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen  shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.