Do you have a teenager with ADD or ADHD? Or how about a teen with anger issues or one who is disrespectful of authority? If you are a parent of a teen with any of these issues or other disorders that are difficult to deal with, you are not alone.
I have two sons who are now 18 and 24. My eighteen year old was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 9. His school years prior to being diagnosed, and even after beginning treatment, were tumultuous to say the least. From Kindergarten on, he struggled in school, often hid under his desk, hit a teacher or two, was unruly and flat out disrespectful. To this day, he still has very little respect for authority and is often defiant and makes rude remarks when it comes to anyone in authority. Through his high school years, he never liked the principal and always had something to say about her job as an authority figure.
My now 24 year old son has addiction issues and began drinking in his early years in high school; it may have been earlier but as far as I know, that’s when it began. Due to his addictions, he has been convicted as a felon due to 4 DUI’s. He’s spent time in jail at various lengths; the longest and latest was 5 months. He is currently serving a 5 year stint on probation.
So, how do I, as a mother, handle all of this? I take it all one day, one issue, one instance at a time. Throughout my sons’ lives, especially the 18 year olds, there have been various occasions where I, or we (his parents) have had to intervene. Some have been quite embarrassing; there was the time when he was 2 or 3 and kicked a lady from our church. There were all the calls from the teachers when he would hide under his desk and refuse to come out, listen or obey. There were all the times he would get suspended from school because he picked a fight with a fellow student, or spoke very disrespectfully to a teacher or the principal. “Why does he act this way? What did I do wrong as a parent?” Those are questions I often ask, and I’m sure you do too.
The truth is, we didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not in our parenting skills (or lack thereof). It’s probably a genetic issue. Same with my son who struggles with addiction; we have seen him live a life completely free of alcohol and drugs for 6 months to a year, but for some reason, he always goes back to the drugs and alcohol. Alcoholism runs in my family; my grandfather, grandmother and my dad were all alcoholics. Not to mention that my son’s father (I am now divorced from him) could probably be diagnosed as an alcoholic, as well.
So, where am I going with all of this? Basically, I want you to know you’re not alone. There are so many people out there raising difficult teens, who are blaming themselves or their lack of parenting skills, when it’s no one’s fault. Our bodies are imperfect, and therefore we give birth to imperfect children. There are guides and various websites available to help you deal with a child who has ADD or ADHD, addictions and any other disorder your teen may have. Seek them out on the web and get some advice today before you feel like you’re going to lose it completely.
You can also get some real life guidance from Aurelia Williams, founder of Parenting My Teen. Not only is she a certified life coach, she also has many great articles and reports that will help you deal with your difficult teen. Take a look at all of them; I’m certain you will be able to find one that will help you with your situation.
Three other great resources for you to take advantage of are:
My Out Of Control Teen: A online parent-program for those who are struggling with their out-of-control teenagers. Learn cut-to-the-chase parenting strategies that work immediately rather than months or years down the road.
Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open
Honest Parenting: Honest Parenting is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.
Don’t wait another minute to get help for you and your teenager!