Parenting My Teen

The summertime is fast approaching. Soon school will lock their doors and your children will be enjoying the lazy, hazy days of summer. As they say, Idle hands  can be dangerous.  It’s important to give your teenager both relaxation during the summers and some freedom, but it’s important to do so under an environment of structure.

In the old days, a summer day often meant running around outside from sunup to sundown, today — at best — it often means a long day indoors playing video games or watching TV. At worst it can mean a teenager who is bored (with idle hands) being tempted to get involved in things better left alone. That might be drugs, alcohol or sexual activity. It could also just be other dangerous activities  – like playing with the matches and candles in the house and burning down the house. Yea. It happens.

As a parent it’s important that you are always prepared for summer so that you can keep some structure in your teenager’s life. This is most important for young teenagers before they are able to drive or get jobs. The ages between 13 and 16 are the ages fraught with issues and honestly if you can get your teenagers through this time, you’re on easy street. Well, almost… but close. Fortunately, there are things you can do to provide structure whether you work outside the home or not.

Give them a job — Even young teenagers can do jobs around the house. Provide a checklist to the teenager to get done each day while you’re at work. It’s also important that you call and check in on the teenager a few times a day. The chores can be anything from cleaning the kitchen to cleaning out the garage to reading a certain book. It all depends on what you want to teach your child and the age and maturity of your teenager.

Send them to camp – Whether it’s overnight camp or day camp there are many different camps you can send your teenagers to during the summer. The experiences they have will often define their futures. A child who shows interest in space for instance, sent to Space Camp in Huntsville Alabama may get more serious about science in school and realize that they can become whatever they want if they work hard enough.

Sign them up for community activities — There are summer sports and activities that teenagers can get involved in. This will require some commitment from you in terms of transportation. It doesn’t matter if it’s swimming, tennis, or volunteering at the local community garden there are many activities for teenagers probably right in your city that cost nothing other than transportation. Ask your student’s school counselor or advisor for information about how to locate these types of opportunities. They’re also great for college apps!

Let them take a class — Some community colleges, and even high schools offer summer courses both for credit and without credit. Some of these college summer enrichment programs can give teenagers wonderful insights and lessons that can help them decide their futures better. Some of these courses even offer the teenagers dorms and places to stay and some are even overseas. Summer reading programs at community colleges and four year universities for teenager are very popular. Look them up for your area via Google. Check out info from West Coast Connection.

Regardless of which avenue you take, one of them or all of them combined, it is important not to just leave teenagers at their own devices before they are 16, have a job and transportation. They need some structure and some type of accountability to help — not only keep them out of trouble — but to give them a sense of belonging and joy about life. What do you do to keep your teenagers busy in the summer? How do you provide structure during the summertime?

Schools Out! Plan for The Perfect Teen Summer – If you are ready to discover how you can help your pre-teen or teen make it through summer by staying productive and out of trouble, this is for you. This package is equipped with a 10 Week Summer Action plan, 5 expert audio interviews, special reports and more.

 Click Here for More Ideas on How to keep your Teens productive during the summer months.

Many parents will openly admit that their teens don’t get enough sleep and many parents are on the lookout for good sleep tips for teenagers.  It’s generally well known that exercise improves sleep, but for teens this may have special significance.  A recent study showed a sharp distinction between the sleep quality of teens who sat in front of a computer for more than two hours a day or a television for more than four hours a day, and those who exercised instead. The teens who sat in front of the computer did so recreationally – that is, they did social networking, played games, and so forth.

This “sedentary behavior” had a profound effect on the teens’ sleep quality. Teens who exercised instead of spending time in front of the computer reported sleeping for eight hours or more, while the sedentary teens got insufficient sleep.

Teens are a special concern regarding exercise and sleep. There are several reasons for this, such as the following:

• Teens are more likely to spend recreational time in front of a computer.
• Teens tend to stay up late due to homework and/or circadian rhythm changes.
• Teens actually need more sleep per night (between nine and ten hours) than the average adult. 
• Teens are in school, and schoolwork is often very demanding and requires sufficient sleep to be tackled effectively.
• Teens’ brains are still developing.

In other words, teens are the most likely group to get insufficient sleep, yet they are the group that needs it most.  So how does exercise improve sleep for teens? 

Here are a few sleep tips for teenagers

For one thing, teens who do not exercise are more likely to be obese, and obesity affects sleep quality. According to the study referred to above, chronic sleep deprivation affects teens’ immune systems, the cardiovascular system, and the brain (which, in teens, is still developing). Exercise has been shown to help in all these areas – cardiovascular, immune, and neurological systems are all said to be positively impacted by exercise.

Exercise also makes your teen tired in a good way, and research shows it reduces stress. Stress can really keep your teen up at night, so exercising may relieve that stress and improve sleep. Regular exercise also boosts the appetite, and if parents keep lots of healthy food around, teens may be more likely to eat even foods they have shunned in the past. Intake of more healthy food also helps promote overall health and, by extension, sleep quality.

Generally speaking, vigorous cardiovascular exercise is the best for promoting sleep. Stretching and other forms of exercise are certainly good for the body and may help promote relaxation, thus aiding sleep; but experts agree that at least 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise – preferably in the afternoon – has the most benefit.

By using the sleep tips for teenagers in the above article, your teen will be on his/her path to a better nights sleep.

Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen This toolkit offers parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

Many teenagers look forward to the holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, because it means they get a break from school. Of course, this means that they get more time to hang out with friends, stay up late and sleep in longer. While all these things are enjoyable and should be experienced by teens, there are a lot of unique activities that teens can do during their holiday breaks that will also bring them a sense of joy as well.

Bake Christmas Goodies to Give Away: A lot of times our children (especially teens) are so concerned about what they will get during the holidays that they don’t take time to think about making others happy during this time of the year. This is a perfect opportunity to get your teenagers to help you bake cookies and hand them out to your neighbors during the Christmas season. Who knows, this may be something that your teen enjoys doing so much that he or she continues doing it for years to come!

Handwrite Christmas Cards: Today is a day in which we use text messages, instant messages and emails to communicate with our friends. It’s safe to say that this is even truer for our teens because they’ve always had this type of communication. Therefore, talk to your teen about doing something unique this year for her friends at Christmas – personally write a Christmas card greeting and mail (gasp!) it to them!

Volunteer: Thanksgiving and Christmas aren’t just about spending time with family and getting presents. These holidays are also about spreading our “good cheer” and abundance with others. What better way to do this then by volunteering at a local homeless shelter serving food to the needy? It’s not very often that teens realize how fortunate they are, but when they volunteer at a homeless shelter or another place dedicated to helping the needy, they will not only appreciate all that they do have, but they will experience the joy that comes from helping someone in need.

Get a Real Christmas Tree: With the convenience of pre-lit Christmas trees that are ready to decorate within 5 minutes after coming out of the box, going out and hunting for a real Christmas tree seems to be a thing of the past. However, because it isn’t done on a normal basis, teens will most likely enjoy getting to pick out a real Christmas tree. Some places even let you chop it down yourself, which will be even more fun for teens. Then there is the process of trimming the tree once you get it home and finally decorating it. This is one activity that your teen (and family) is likely to enjoy doing because once it’s finished it brings a sense of accomplishment that isn’t easily obtained.

Shop for a Christmas Tree Angel: Another fun and unique holiday activity that teens can do is to shop for someone that isn’t likely to have a Christmas. Usually, the names of these children are found in department stores on Christmas trees…hence the name “Christmas Tree Angel.” Everything is there for your teen – the child’s age, clothing sizes and what he or she wants most for Christmas. All your teen has to do is go and pick out the items for the child, pay for it and (in most cases) leave it at the store so it can be wrapped and delivered to the child for Christmas. It is a very rewarding activity for teens, or anyone, to do.

Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen This toolkit offers parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

For most parents, one of the most dreaded periods of time they face is when their kids get old enough to start dating…or the “teenage years.” Why? This is when parents actually have to “let go” and let their kids make their own decisions, and if you are a parent, then you know how terrifying this thought is. This is probably why the majority of parents try to talk to their teens about dating…to help them in their decision making.

Talking to your teens about dating is a good thing to do, in fact, so many parents don’t do it and it causes a lot of damage. However, there are several common mistakes that many parents make when they start talking to their teens about dating that can also cause damage when not corrected. These mistakes are below.

Speaking Negatively about the Opposite Sex. A lot of the time parents talk to their teenagers about the opposite sex in a negative light in order to “protect” them. It’s not done maliciously by parents or with the intent to turn off their teens from the opposite sex, but it can have a negative impact on teens, nonetheless. For instance, many parents with teenage daughters have a tendency to talk to them about boys by saying things like, “boys are only after one thing (sex) and once they get it, they’re going to be gone.” Now, this doesn’t mean parents don’t want their daughters to date boys, all it means (from the parents’ point of view) is that they want to prepare their daughters for what a boy might try on a date.

The problem with always bringing out the “faults” of the opposite sex to your teen is that these are the things your teen will focus on, or even look for, in the opposite sex and think that it’s just normal. This can lead to a string of bad relationships for your teen. For instance, if your daughter thinks all guys are after sex, then she may begin to think that having sex is just a natural part of dating because it’s “expected” of her. Therefore, it’s important for parents to also talk about the positive qualities of the opposite sex and how fun dating can be when it’s with a person who possess these qualities.

Trying to Play It Cool. If there’s one thing teens hate the most, it’s probably their parents trying to act cool when talking about dating and/or sex. While you want to be able to relate to your teen and what he/she is going through, you need to do so in your own way. When you are able to talk to your teens in your own unique way (not by trying to be “cool”) then your teens will see your honesty and take things you say seriously.

Constantly Asking What Their Status Is.  Another mistake many parents make when their teens are old enough to date is constantly asking them if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. While you are just trying to keep the lines of communication open by expressing interest in what’s going on in your teen’s life, you are unknowingly putting pressure on your teen to date. If your teen isn’t dating and you are continuously asking if there is anyone he likes, then he may feel that the only way to appear “normal” to you, and everyone else, is to get a girlfriend. And, that may not be all he thinks he needs to do to prove that he’s normal. This doesn’t mean you can’t ever ask about your teen’s “status” – it just means you shouldn’t ask all the time. You’ll know when there’s someone your teen is interested in.

Here are some further resources for parenting teens:

• Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen
• Out of Control Teen