Angry Teenagers: What Does It Mean?

Anger is a dangerous emotion and can cause teenagers to act out physically and verbally in a very damaging way. The one good thing about a child who expresses his anger is that it is an indication of a deeper problem and you can get to a solution more quickly. Teenagers who are extremely angry could be victims of abuse, suffering from depression, abusing alcohol or drugs, dealing with grief or other problems.

If your child is expressing bouts of anger, take a look at this behavior and try to determine what situations bring out the anger. Don’t fuel the anger by elevating your own emotions. Of course, if your child is causing physical harm to someone in your home, you need to take action. Even then – keep it calm - just do what you need to stop the abuse from occurring.

Talk to your teenager when emotions aren’t so high. Try to understand where they are coming from and really listen. Ensure they understand that mentally and physically abusive behavior isn’t acceptable. If they feel angry, give them the opportunity to express it or if they feel like they just need a bit of time alone, allow them to get that. Harassing an emotionally-charged youngster isn’t going to solve anything.

3. 4 Depression: If you think your child is depressed, it may not be as easy to sit down and talk to your child about it. In cases where children are abusing drugs or alcohol (which can also be a sign of depression), they are aware that they are participating in forbidden behavior (doing drugs or alcohol). When someone is depressed, they may not be completely aware or may have a harder time talking about it.

As we have stressed all along, keep the lines of communication open with your teenager. If they’re feeling down, help them talk about it. In most cases, these feelings are temporary and kids can snap out of it with a bit of compassion and understanding. In other cases, it may be an indication of actual depression that may need professional help.

Signs of Depression: Teenagers get moody, but if these symptoms become persistent it might become problematic.

* Sadness &/or crying.
* Feelings of hopelessness
* Loss of interest in regular activities
* Lack of energy
* Change in sleep patterns
* Change in eating habits
* Not interacting with friends
* Low self-esteem
* Sensitivity to rejection
* Missing a lot of school
* Inability to concentrate

If your child has any of these symptoms on an ongoing basis, talk to you doctor or other trusted professional. They can refer you to a counselor or other professional to get your child the help she needs. When you decide to get your child help, talk to her about it. Give her some say in what steps are taken or she may be resistant to help.
Recommended Resources:

Visit Out of Control Teen to learn more about how you can help a teen that shows signs of trouble.

Find more detailed advice, solutions, and hands on examples on these or other topics in Christina Botto’s no nonsense, “how-to” Parenting guide “Help Me With My Teenager!” A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents that Works.

I hope you are having a great weekend!

Have you had a moment to tune into the new show yet?  If not, you can listen to the new show by visiting Parenting My Teen and clicking on the ‘Listen Now’ Button.

It’s coffee or tea with Aurelia time!  Tune in and join me as I discuss ways to get your teen to open up and I also talk about ways that you can connect with your teenager!

As always, I love hearing your comments.  After you listen to the show please  post your comments to this entry and let me know what you thought of the show. 

If you would like a chance to hear your own comments on our next show, you can call our Listener’s Line at 214-615-6505 ext. 4245 and record your comments and thoughts.

Take care & hug those teens,
Aurelia Williams

Wikipedia defined Anorexia nervosa as, “an eating disorder characterized by voluntary starvation and exercise stress. Anorexia nervosa is a complex disease, involving psychological, sociological and physiological components. A person who is suffering from anorexia is referred to as ‘anorexic’ or (less commonly) ‘anorectic’. The term is frequently but incorrectly shortened to anorexia, which simply refers to the medical symptom of lost appetite”. In simple words, anorexia nervosa is a psychological disorder characterized by delusions that you are too fat despite being emaciated. Anorexia nervosa is a serious, often chronic, and life-threatening eating disorder defined by a refusal to maintain minimal body weight within 15 percent of an individual’s normal weight. ?

Other essential features of this disorder include an intense fear of gaining weight, a distorted body image, and amenorrhea (absence of at least three consecutive menstrual cycles when they are otherwise expected to occur).

Teens express their grief differently depending on their age and emotional maturity. The teen years can be divided into 3 developmental phases: the early, middle, and late teen years. Each age group differs regarding the expression of teen grief and loss. What is Teen Grief and loss?  Teen Grief is a teens emotional reaction to a significant loss. The words sorrow and heartache are often used to describe feelings of grief. Whether you lose a beloved person, animal, place, or object, or a valued way of life (such as your job, marriage, or good health), some level of grief will naturally follow

You may feel unsure about how to approach a teen who is grieving. Here are some general concepts to keep in mind:

1.  Let your teen react to the loss in his or her own way. Some teens are naturally quiet and may need to express their grief in private. Some teens feel so frustrated and helpless that they may react strongly, even showing intense rage. They may need reassurance that their intense feelings are normal reactions to a stressful situation.

2.  Allow your teen to question. Teens who experience loss often question the meaning of life, what happens after death, why does tragedy occur, and why bad things happen to good people. You can best help your teen by allowing him or her to ask questions.

3.  Give your teen time to adjust to a loss. Teens vary in their ability to adjust to major changes, including losses in their lives. Your teen may not be ready to respond to a loss at the same time as you or other people. Do not force your teen to grieve on your timetable.

4.  Reassure your teen that grieving is normal. Your teen may need reassurance that the sadness and other feelings of grief will lessen over time. Use comforting touches and hugs to help convey your understanding and love.

5.  Set reasonable limits on your teen’s behavior. When a major loss occurs in a teen’s life, rebellious behaviors may become more dramatic. This is often a sign that a teen is having intense feelings about what has just happened. Teens usually feel more comfortable when they are clear about how far they can go with their behavior. Be firm with your teen and clear about your expectations of him or her.

Related Resource:
How to Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk: Filled with straightforward advice and written in a down-to-earth style sure to appeal to both parents and teens, this all-new volume offers both innovative, easy-to-implement suggestions and proven techniques to build the foundation for lasting relationships

Teen Peer Pressure

Dealing with teen peer pressure can be hard for many teens.  Parents take lots of precautions to keep their children from getting in trouble. They teach them what they think is right and try to keep them from succumbing to negative peer pressure. But kids will be kids no matter what you do and sometimes they make mistakes. The important part is what you do after. If your teen is being influenced by other teens, there are some steps you can take to help them get back on track.  There are some things that you can do to help your child deal with teen peer pressure.

Read more HERE