Parenting My Teen

The teenage years can be a time of great emotional turmoil as it is the transition from childhood to adulthood. A lot of issues such as peer pressure, search for identity, romantic and family relationships as well as school performance beset teenagers as they undergo this phase. It is inevitable that quite a large percentage of teenagers resort to drug abuse to cope with, alleviate or escape these issues. Teen drug abuse has actually become a common and prevalent phenomenon. Majority of deaths in individuals in the 15-24 age bracket are attributed to alcohol or teen drug abuse. Violent criminal acts that include, murder, assault and rape can be accounted for by teen drug abuse as well.

To combat anxiety and depression, teen drug abuse can also be a temporary coping mechanism for disturbed teenagers. A teenager with a family history of alcohol and drug abuse as well as lack of social skills are those predisposed to serious teen drug abuse, therefore these teenagers must steer clear of experimentation. It is essential that drug abuse by a teenager be prevented by providing emotional security, guidance and education to the child by the family. In fact, there is no telling as even teenagers with no family history of drug or alcohol abuse may also have a predilection to be gravely immersed in teen drug abuse.

Drug abuse if the biggest and foremost concern among children and parents as cited in the National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse. The survey was conducted by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (Columbia University). Physical signs of teen drug abuse to be on the lookout for are nagging cough, red eyes and irregularities in eating and sleeping habits. Parents should also be suspicious when their teenager starts to behave aberrantly and becomes aloof to other members of the family. Red light warning signals on the effects of grave teen drug abuse are irritability and violent behavior, anxiety and panic attacks, lethargy and chronic bronchitis symptoms, memory loss and learning problems, frequently recurring chest colds, paranoia, teeth clenching and muscle tension, convulsions, dehydration, hypothermia, brain damage and consequently, death.

Teen drug abuse has consequential effects of the user’s mood and performance. As a result of preoccupation with teen drug abuse, a teenager can have deteriorating performance in school or in college as well as the workplace. This could actually lead to detention, suspension or dismissal. Teen drug abuse can not only negatively affect family and personal relationships but ruin them as well. Teen drug abuse can also be devastating to parents as the problem can get out of hand and their child becomes defiant and can even have deviant behavior. If you suspect your child to be into teen drug abuse, it is wise to seek the help of authorities or reputable private or government agencies that can provide guidance, counsel, support and treatment to your teenager.

Teen drug abuse may not only be a phase of experimentation in a teenager’s life, but it can possibly lead to serious and grim drug addiction until adulthood that can be debilitating and complicated to resolve. Teen drug abuse, when combated in the initial stages can lead to a better quality of life and well-being not only as a teenager, but eventually as an adult as well.

Rose Windale is a Health and Wellness Coach who has been successful with several natural health programs for many years. Rose decided to share her knowledge and tips through her website http://www.healthzine.org

No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – Learn how to feel like a good parent even when your teenager hates you. Also learn how get your disrespectful Teenager to LISTEN to what you say & RESPECT you as their parent while getting peace back in your home. Risk Free for 60 Days! No Obligation!”

My Out Of Control Teen:  A online parent-program for those who are struggling with their out-of-control teenagers. learn cut-to-the-chase parenting strategies that work immediately rather than months or years down the road.

I’ve been doing a little research lately on the subject of teen drinking and drug addiction because my son, who is 24, is currently in rehab due to his addictions. I came across this article which, though a little old, has some good points in the article as well as in the comments.

One of the points raised by several of the commentors is that providing alcohol to a minor is illegal. Good point and I agree. I don’t believe you should teach your children to break the law just to prove a point. It teaches them that they don’t have to listen to authority or law makers and that rules are meant to be broken.

Another great point about this is, as a parent you don’t know if you’re teen is going to have an addiction problem or not. Chances are if there is any alcoholism or addiction issues anywhere in your family, you and your children are going to have them as well.

My son’s father is an addict though he refuses to admit it. Not only did he drink with my children, specifically my sons, he also smokes marijuana with them and who knows what else. I’m sorry, but what kind of example is that for your children?! All that teaches is that it’s okay to “mask your problems” or “make the pain go away” by being high or drunk. But I digress.

One of the arguments, as pointed out in the article, is that drinking with your kids may help them to not want to go out and party or experiment with alcohol on their own. Really? Does it? I don’t think so, especially if they are prone to addiction as you can see in the example of my ex-husband and my son. And like I mentioned above, you don’t know if your child is going to have addiction issues or not, therefore giving them that first drink may be like feeding poison to them and you don’t even realize it.

So, my stance on the issue is no, I do not think that parents should drink with their kids. What do you think? What personal experiences have you had on this issue?

Looking for help with your teen? Visit My Out Of Control Teen – an online parent-program for those who are struggling with their teenagers.

As I mentioned in my previous post, my son is currently in rehab for substance abuse. One of the things he’s mentioned over and over is a constant feeling of anxiety. I do not suffer from anxiety, therefore I am having trouble understand how he is feeling or what he is going through. So, I decided to do some research on anxiety, especially as it relates to teens and young adults. I thought I’d share my finding with you in this post and the next couple of posts.

What Anxiety Is

The first thing I needed to know was exactly what anxiety is…what it feels like. A basic definition is: a feeling of hopelessness, an overwhelming feeling of dissatisfaction and restlessness, where nothing ever seems to go right.

The next thing I want to know is why my son is feeling like this. Obviously I have to get those answers from him and hopefully he will find some things out in rehab.

As the mom of a child suffering from anxiety, I wish I would have known what signs to look for when he was growing up. It never even crossed my mind that he was suffering with this “disorder” which is probably a major reason he turned to drugs and alcohol. So, I’m going to share the warning signs with you, so hopefully you’ll be able to recognize, before it’s too late, if your child or teen is suffering from anxiety.

The Warning Signs of Severe Teen Anxiety

• Anger
• Depression
• A drop in grades
• Fatigue
• Substance abuse
• Extreme mood swings
• Changes in sleep habits
• Changes in eating habits
• Changes in hygiene habits to the extreme
• Compulsive or Obsessive Behavior

What you can do to help your teen who is suffering from anxiety

Obviously if you see any of the above warning signs in your teen’s behavior, start talking to them. Often they won’t open up to you, but you need to intervene as soon as possible. Start by letting your teen know you’re there for them, to give them the support they need to help them deal with and overcome their anxiety. This may mean therapy, medication or even hospitalization if the anxiety is extreme. More and more doctors are prescribing anxiety meds to teens, however, if it’s at all possible, it’s best to try to overcome anxiety without the use of medication. If you read my previous post, my son began abusing the anxiety meds he was prescribed.

If you have a teen and suspect he or she is suffering from anxiety, please don’t ignore the signs and get help immediately before it turns into something worse, like addiction or other behavioral issues.

No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – Learn how to feel like a good parent even when your teenager hates you. Also learn how get your disrespectful Teenager to LISTEN to what you say & RESPECT you as their parent while getting peace back in your home. Risk Free for 60 Days! No Obligation!”

My 24 year old son is currently in a rehabilitation center for addicts. He just recently spent 30 days in jail for violating his probation. He was released from jail and the next day we drove him to the rehab center.

It’s very difficult watching your child go through something like this. At the time of this typing, it is the day after Thanksgiving, and he missed spending it with his family. He will be out in time for Christmas though and the birth of his daughter who is due Feb. 8.

My son is an addict, an addict to being high. It doesn’t matter how he gets the high, just so long as he is high. I don’t understand it. When I was a teen, I entered the party scene, did my share of drinking and smoking pot, but I was never addicted. I didn’t have to be high all the time. But, my son does, or thinks he does.  No, it’s not even that he thinks he does…it’s like his body craves it, like it’s in his soul. He tells me he doesn’t want to live like that anymore, but as soon as he gets around alcohol or drugs, he has no power over his actions and he always goes overboard. He can’t have “just one”. One is never enough and it’s never enough until he’s so high he can’t walk or talk straight, or he passes out.

I’ve gotten to talk to him on the phone a few times since he was admitted to rehab. In the first phone call I could hear the struggle in his voice. He was having anxiety issues and needed the phone number to his doctor so he could get his anxiety meds filled. That’s another issue we’ve had to deal with. The pills he takes for anxiety, if abused, can make him high. So, not only was he drinking and smoking marijuana, he was also abusing prescription drugs.

My son has been in rehab before, at a different center. But at that time, his visit to rehab was in lieu of jail time and he wasn’t ready to admit he had a problem, nor was he ready to give it up. Upon being released from rehab, he was sentenced to 90 days house arrest, which meant he could only go to work and had a monitor hooked up to the phone line. He had to be at work or at home at all times. I don’t think there were any special allowances for Holidays or birthdays either. You think that would have been an eye opener for him. But, no, 9 days after his house arrest sentence was up, he was arrested for drunk driving again, which landed him 5 months in jail. The five months in jail were a bit on an eye opener for him, and when he was released, he did really well for about 6 months. Then slowly he started slipping back into his addiction, getting drunk or high now and then, and before we knew it, he was full blown back into his addiction.

The rehab center he’s in now was by recommendation by his probation officer. It seems to be a “lighter” type of rehab center than the previous one he was in. My son says they have a lot of free time and relaxation in the current one. Part of me thinks it’s a good thing because then hopefully he will learn how to function in life without being high and without having to be coached all the time. He said he’d prefer to have classes and group sessions more, but I think he really needs to learn to deal with life, the way it really is. Life isn’t always exciting, there’s not always something to do, and a lot of times it’s downright boring. But that’s life. It’s not a party all the time and he needs to learn how to function without the party, without something exciting going on all the time.

My son gets out December 21, keep him in your thoughts and prayers, if you would. Also, if you’re a parent of an addict, feel free to leave your story here too. Maybe we can help each other out.

This is a personal story, straight from my heart, something I’m dealing with as I type this post. I am a mother of a 24 year old son, who is an addict. This afternoon I had to watch as he was handcuffed and hauled off to jail. This isn’t the first time he’s been in jail for substance abuse either. The only difference is this time I am the one who made the call to the police.

Early this afternoon, my son called his girlfriend, who is pregnant by the way, and told her to bring him his anti-anxiety pills. She refused because he has been abusing them and he was already slurring his speech. She ended up hanging up on him because he was getting belligerent with her. Half an hour later, he called back and said his boss told him he could go home. I don’t know for certain, but it was probably because he was drunk.

I went with his girlfriend to get him because he’s been violent to her in the past when he’s been drunk or high. I also wanted to talk to him to tell him he either has to go get help or get out of my house. He lives with me because he’s on probation for his past violations, doesn’t have a driver’s license and is supposed to only work at places that don’t serve alcohol. Well, back in April he got a job at a pub in a town about 20 miles from ours. His girlfriend just informed me that he’s been sneaking alcohol from the basement of the pub. So, not only is he abusing his anti-anxiety meds, he’s also drinking on top of it.

To make a really long story short, he was slightly pushing me around, trying to get his pills from me. I told him to get his hands off of me or I was going to call the police. He kept pushing, so I called 911. The officer came, we talked, he gave my son a breathalyzer, called his probation officer, and a few minutes later my son was in handcuffs, riding off in the backseat of a Sheriff’s car to jail.

How did we get here? My son began drinking, unbeknownst to me, about the age of 11 or 12. He was shown by his father that alcohol is a part of life, that’s its okay to drink and smoke pot.  My now ex-husband is an addict as well, but most people don’t know it. He is a “functioning” addict, meaning he lives high and can still maintain a job and other daily functions. Is his life fulfilled? Not in the least. But, without getting further into that, I just wanted to share with you, parents of teenagers, my story.

It is my hope and prayer that I can somehow help you or support you if you’re son or daughter is an addict. It’s a tough road to go down and it helps to know there are people out there to help you and give you much needed support.

As for advice, if you suspect your teen is drinking or doing drugs, please, do everything you can to stop it now. Seek help, intervention or whatever is necessary. Even if you think your teen’s partying is just a phase they’ll grow out of, please reconsider. Some teen CAN’T grow out of it. Addiction is a very strong disease and the longer you let it go, the harder it will be to overcome.

My Out Of Control Teen: A online parent-program for those who are struggling with their out-of-control teenagers. learn cut-to-the-chase parenting strategies that work immediately rather than months or years down the road.

Honest Parenting: is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.