Most people enjoy a lazy day when they can sleep in and just relax.  However, when summer comes, it seems that some teens take that one lazy day and stretch it over the entire summer break.  Here are some tips to combat teen laziness this summer.

Voice your expectations – Let your teen know that you will not accept their staying in bed all day long.  It is not unreasonable to ask that they get up at a decent hour consistently.  Explain that you want them to do more than merely watch television, play console games, or surf the internet on the computer.

If your teen expects you to help pay for their summer activities, they should be willing to abide by a few summer rules.  Set a specific time that you expect them to be home, based upon your level of trust and their age.  Ask them to take on a couple of extra chores during the summer to earn some pocket money.

Get them involved – Whether you ask them to help you around the house, volunteer outside of the home, or help them get a job, you want them to be involved in something.  Give them encouragement to help at a local recreation center, children’s program, or nursing home.  They may find they truly enjoy thinking of others first.

Help them find volunteer positions by calling around to local churches, daycares, or nursing homes.  Local businesses will probably be hiring summer help; offer to help them find a job to earn money before school starts again.  This will help them learn responsibility with money, but will also help them realize the value of their time.  If they realize they get paid by the hour, they might be less likely to waste so much of it.

Spend time with them – Avoid giving lectures about what they should do during the summer.  Instead, find activities that you can do with them.  You don’t have to spend every waking moment with them, but take some time to take them shopping, to a movie, or out for a latte.  Summertime is a great time to reconnect with your teen.  Don’t let the summer go by without taking the time to talk.

Encourage activity – Take time to learn a new sport with your teen.  Not only will this help your teen be less lazy during the summer, it’ll help you be less lazy, too.  Give tennis, swimming, cycling, or rollerblading a try.  You both will benefit health wise for the effort.

Parents all over the country complain that their teens get lazy during the summer break.  These tips to combat teen laziness this summer are just a few that you can use.  Ask your teen if there are things they’d like to accomplish before school starts, and then help them to meet those goals.

Visit School’s Out! Plan For the Perfect Teen Summer http://parentingmyteen.com/schools_out.html and Find Out How To Plan For The Perfect Summer and Keep Everyone (you included) Happy!

If You have any questions for Lacey Please Leave them in the comment box and she will be checking in and answer questions today!

1. What is Sisters’ Sanctuary and How was it started?

Sisters’ Sanctuary is a community that reinforces personal empowerment, self-love and self-worth for teen girls of the Hip Hop Generation and women of color. I created it in the fall of 2002 in response to the over saturation of carnal, superficial and materialistic images of women in today’s media specifically in Hip Hop culture. Jill Scott’s “The Thickness,” a spoken-word ode to rescue Black girls from equating their self-worth with their physical sexuality was also my inspiration. In my teen years, I used to be the girl in Jill’s poem. I have evolved so much since then and am still evolving. I do understand that so many woman and teen girls
have not. Hence, my work with Sisters’ Sanctuary. Sisters’ Sanctuary’s purpose is to support female youth and women recognize and understand their sacredness.

2. Why did your create ‘Healing The Gap!’ and how does it differ from your workbook/journal Celebrate
HER Now?

I created Healing the Gap! because I noticed the communication and generation gap between Women and teen girls, specifically African American mothers and their teen daughters. I wanted to offer some of my techniques in reaching teen girls of today’s Hip-Hop generation to support our communities in healing the gap for personal and community empowerment. My book Celebrate HER Now! Is workbook/journal for mothers and mentors of teen girls to support them in understanding and celebrating our young women as well as themselves.

3. What makes you an expert on the topic of bridging the gap between women and teen girls?

Comments like this from the parents of my Girls:

“Sisters’ Sanctuary has changed my life by seeing the changes in my daughter’s life. It seemed like I was loosing her at one point thought about sending her away but because of Sisters’ Sanctuary she has improved and the thought of sending her away would never cross my mind again. My daughter’s success is what is most important
to me.”

“Before Sisters’ Sanctuary, my daughter was out of control, fighting everyday; had very low self esteem, and was a bully. She has calmed down so much in this last year; I even caught her having a candle lit bubble bath with MY candles! She was celebrating her!!!! It was OK once I realized she was not only my baby girl, but she was growing up and I had to allow her to do so. Now she knows that she needs to do something other than violence and to look within first. She has learned how to love herself more and THINK about the consequences of her actions. I thank you for letting GOD use you and keep up the good work.”

- Beverley Johnson, Mother of teen participant.

My tried and true success in supporting women, young and old in seeing and celebrating their value and worth. My years of experience in bringing families, communities and young women together through my work with Sisters’ Sanctuary. The client results speak for themselves.

4. What is the difference between what you do as personal empowerment coach and a trained family therapist?

Good question. Coaching is not substitute for therapy. A coach inspires you to move your life forward to achieve positive changes and results. A coach works with the client to set goals that will support you in creating the experiences you want to have in your life. Coaches ask the right questions that enable you to search yourself to find your truth to make healthier choices and better decisions for peace of mind and happiness. Therapists work with the client to resolve problems by talking about the events in the past. Coaching helps you get out of your own way and empowers you to take ownership and responsibility for the life you want to create today! Sometime the work overlaps but they are two different approaches.

5. How is ‘Healing the Gap!’ best used? Is it easy to follow?

Healing the Gap! can be used as bonding tool as:

1 on 1. A mother/ mentor can choose to incorporate Healing the Gap! as way to spend quality time with her teen daughter/mentee. (Family version)

1 on Group. A Facilitator can choose use the CD’s for her teen girls group for an after school program, summer camp, school. (Educational/Non-profit version)

Multi-Generational Group Setting. Like a Family Reunion, Sorority Youth Group Meeting or Church.(Educational/Non-profit version)

The adult in the group should be present to guide the conversations and responses but for the most part it is a self-run program.

I also have a corporate version for corporations that provide services to youth. This version comes with an onsite or virtual training on how youth workers can implement Healing the Gap into their curriculum and will be sold in bulk. The Release of the Education and Corporate version is to be announced but can be made available upon request.

6. You have some interesting topics included in you 5 CD collection can you tell us about how you choose the 5 topics and why?

CD-1 Stress Management (Heart full of Peace), CD-2 Self-Image (Loving the Woman in the Mirror), CD-3 Body-Image (Loving my Body Like its Golden), CD-4 Exploring Men and Boys (The Baby and the Daddy), CD-5 Sex and Sexuality (Un-Shaming Sex and Sexuality)

I could have created so many more topics but I choose these five because stress directly affects our health. All major diseases including cancer, heart disease, depression, asthma, ulcers and lowered levels of immunity are stress related. The leading causes of death for African American women are heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes, and kidney disease, all diseases rooted in stress. I wanted us to explore the ways we can create peace, love, health and harmony for ourselves and our youth.

In my coaching experiences, I have encountered many women and young women who are in turmoil about how they look, Self-Image (Loving the Women in the Mirror) is about self-acceptance and being at peace with your image, regardless of how the magazines, commercial or any other form of media define beauty. The discontent with one’s body shape and size is not confined to White women alone. A survey conducted by Essence magazine served as an eating disorders study. The results from over 2,000 respondents indicated that African American women are at risk for eating disorders in at least equal proportions to their White counterparts. Analysis of the results also revealed that African American women have adopted similar attitudes towards body image, weight and eating to White women. (Pumariega, Gustavson, Gustavson, Stone Motes & Ayers, 1994). Loving My Body like it’s Golden, Body Image builds off of Self-Image but specifically focuses
on how and why we see our bodies the way we do.

Exploring Men and Boys was created to have healthy conversations around men and boys and why we see them the way we do. It’s about learning how to talk about men without male bashing and taking ownership over our sexual or nonsexual relationships with them.

Among women, about two out of three new HIV cases are African American. High rates of other STDs, including Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Syphilis are a problem as well. There is a lot of shame and secrecy around sex and sexuality in our communities; I grew up in a family where we never used the word “vagina.” We had nick names and everything that related to sex or sexuality was discussed in hush. My mother was very direct about sex but I didn’t want to listen to her, because I identified more with my father’s side of the family. My Grandmother, my father’s mother is from the old south so she carried the vagina as “dirty and sinful” type of beliefs. In a lot ways, I now see how those beliefs have lead to my aunt’s deep sounds around sex and their sexuality. Un-Shaming Sex and Sexuality was created for women and girls to have honest shame free, nonjudgmental conversations around sex and sexuality to create healthier choices and better decisions.

7. Who is ‘Healing the Gap!’ best for?

Women and Girls of African Descent.

8. Are you available for users to contact about ‘Healing the Gap!’? Is there training available?

Yes there will be a ‘Healing the Gap’ tele-coaching class available to any African American Women who wants direct support in healing the gap with their teen girls. This tele-coaching class is starts July 8, 2008 and runs for 8 weekly session until August 26, 2008. Tuesday’s 5:30pm Pacific 8:30pm EST. I am also availablefor onsite coaching, speaking, consulting, training and workshops. More Info can be found on my website.

9. Where is ‘Healing The Gap!’ available?

‘Healing The Gap’ is available through Sisters’ Sanctuary.

10. What is next for Sisters’ Sanctuary?

Continue building the SS community online and offer quality programs that empower and heal our women and girls. Includes Real Rap with Lacey! –advice Pod cast for teen girls and so much more. Join our mailing list.

Lacey C. Clark!, an expert in solving the communications challenges between young and older women of color. She is a personal empowerment coach and Founder of Sisters Sanctuary, a community that reinforces personal empowerment, self-love and selfworth for teen girls of the Hip-Hop Generation and women of color. Her work includes creating the selflove movement and holiday, The Self-Love Celebration Series for female youth of Hip-Hop Generation, The Sisters’ Sanctuary Inner Beau-Tea Parties, the workbook/journal, Celebrate HER Now! and ‘Healing the Gap!’ Discussion Prompts that Promote Healing and Bonding Conversations Between African American Women and Teen Girls, A Five Topic Audio Series. Lacey!’s clients include individuals, families, not-for profits, civic organizations and corporations. Lacey’s insights heal wounds and bridge the gap created by our changing culture. She has shared stages and platforms with, Jill Scott, Hill Harper, Dr. Sonia Sanchez, Les Brown, and Dr. Robin Smith of the Oprah Winfrey.

Lacey Clark has a newly released audio discussion program, ‘Healing The Gap!’ Discussion Prompts that Promote Healing and Bonding Conversations Between African American Women and Teen Girls, A Five Topic Audio Series. Lacey  has been on a two-week tour that started June 9th, visiting a different blog each day, where she will discuss the importance of ‘Healing The Gap!’ and explain its value in Promote Bonding and Healing Conversation between African-American Women and Teen Girls.

LACEY WILL BE STOPPING BY PARENTING MY TEEN TOMORROW AS PART OF HER BLOG TOUR

‘Healing The Gap!’ covers:

• Stress Management (Heart full of Peace)
• Self-Image (Loving the Woman in the Mirror)
• Body-Image (Loving my Body like its Golden)
• Exploring Men and Boys (The Baby and the Daddy)
• Sex and Sexuality (Un-Shaming Sex and Sexuality)
• Fostering mutual respect between African American and their Teen Girls
• Providing tools to recognize and overcome communication barriers
• Practicing Self-Love & Self-Respect and many more issues.

Lacey Says, “I created this five topic series because I have witnessed the disconnection and level of difficulty that women are having with communicating in a healthy and positive way to teen girls today. This series is a solution to bridging that gap and helping women and young girls build healthy relationships.”

So stop back tomorrow and visit with Lacey Clark. She has answered some great questions and will be stopping by the blog all day to reply to questions and comments you might have.

Teenagers have not always been known for their wise decisions.  More often than not, teenagers make rash decisions that have very little conscious thought involved and are more likely spurred on by the crowd.  In the past, these “adventures” involved car races or some form of dare that might cause harm (or embarrassment).  Today the adventures have turned more deadly.  The trend is to play a game - only this game is one of life or death.

The Choking Game (also known as the Blackout Game or the Fainting Game) is when one person shuts off the oxygen to his brain (sometimes by strangulation) in order to get a high from the experience.  This intentional deprivation of oxygen to the brain can result in unconsciousness, temporary or even permanent brain damage, or death.

It is important to talk to your teenager about who he (or she) is spending time with or what he is doing with his friends when he is out.  These recreational activities that teenagers are participating in are no games.  Not only can they cause problems in youth, but they can also lead to more dangerous scenarios as the teenager grows older.  Some teenagers who participate in the Choking Game eventually develop an unnatural fixation on erotic asphyxiation.

There are a variety of reasons that people say they participate in the Choking Game - none of which have ever been substantiated.  Some claim that it produces a brief high.  Others say that cutting off the oxygen produces a more enhanced sense of erotic feelings.  Some even suggest that it gives the same feeling of being intoxicated.  No matter what the reason, the truth is that no one can be sure just how much damage is being done neurologically each time the “game” is “played”.

It might surprise you to find out that this game has been around for longer than most experts realize.  As long as thirty years ago, kids in the school yard were hyperventilating on purpose to get a high or dizzy feeling associated with intoxication.  Unfortunately, the teenagers of today have found more effective ways to play the game.  Even more unfortunate is that few parents realize it is going on.  There are very few documented cases of injury or death from this game.

Make time to talk to your teenager on a regular basis.  Talk about things in the news, hobbies and interests or whatever your teenager wants to discuss.  When things come up, talk about situations like the Choking Game and how deadly serious they can be.  The more open and honest you are with your teenager about little things, the more open he (or she) will be to your opinion about important issues.

While I was blog hoping I found this great article and just has to share it with you.

Just For Fun 22 Activities You Never Thought of For Teens Instead of Watching TV