Is your preteen going through puberty?  If so, talking to your preteen about their changing body is as important today as it was when we were kids.  The only problem is some of us didn’t hear about menstruation and sex from our parents, but rather from our friends.

Today, we live in a different world than when we were teens.  With so many diseases and problems facing our teens, it’s important they are given the knowledge and answers to the many questions they may have concerning their bodies.  If you have a teen that is going through these changes, here are some tips for talking with your preteen about puberty as well as the thoughts and feelings they are experiencing as a result.

1. If you are comfortable discussing puberty with your teen, then find a few hours in a quiet room so that you can freely talk about the subject and answer all of their questions and concerns.
2. Purchase several books on the subject of puberty and offer them to your child to read.  Then ensure you are available to answer any and all questions.
3. Direct your child to go online, where there are many teen sites which answer questions on puberty and body changes.
4. Be honest with your child in every aspect of this subject.
5. If you are feeling uncomfortable, remember your teen is as well.
6. Discuss menstruation and how the cycle works. 
7. Discuss how the onset of puberty also encompasses breast enlargement, additional hair growth, and hormones.

While our parents couldn’t or wouldn’t discuss these topics with us, you now have the opportunity to break the taboo chain once and for all and openly and lovingly so that as the changes occur, your child is not frightened, or doesn’t think there is something terribly wrong with them.

Remind your child, how unique he or she is, and that everyone develops in different ways and at different times.  While one of your child’s friends may develop breasts earlier than your child, assure them it has nothing to do with them, but that physical changes in the body are different for everyone. 

Another way to present it as a positive change is to celebrate your child’s first menstruation by taking the whole family out to dinner.  Rejoice in the fact that your child is growing and will soon become a woman.  In this way, your child will view these changes as positive ones and accept them more readily.

It may seem trivial to some, but to a teenager acne is a horrible affliction. While almost all teenagers get acne at one point or another, severe acne can lead to a negative body image and even severe depression. But don’t get worried; there are steps you can take to help your child get treated and start feeling better.

There are many myths floating around about acne. Your child may here them at school or find them on the internet. To properly treat your teen’s acne, you need to learn the facts and share them with your child. Here are just a few facts you need to know:

What causes acne or makes it worse:
* Genetics
* Leaning on or touching skin
* Too much scrubbing
* Popping pimples

What hasn’t been document as an effect on acne but does contribute to overall health:
* Diet
* Stress
* Hair and oils
* Make up

You should teach your child proper skin care. It’s best to teach them before a problem develops, but later is better than never. Teach them to wash their face with a mild soap twice a day (and only twice a day. If they have an acne problem, offer to buy them over the counter acne face washes and treatments. Remember that no one product works for everyone and nothing works overnight. Encourage your child to be persistent.

If your child has no luck using the over the counter treatments, it’s a good idea to take them to a dermatologist. If you can’t afford it, talk to your regular doctor and see if there’s anything they can do. It may not seem important enough to you to warrant spending a lot of money on, but it’s probably very important to your teen. Again, most prescription medications take up to two months to work; so be patience.

The most important step in helping your child deal with acne is to start early. You may think it’s rude to step in and try to help if they only have a pimple or two, but many teens are too embarrassed to ask their parents for help. Getting treatment early could also prevent the condition from getting much more serious.

Acne can be hard for a teen to deal with, but your help can make it a whole lot easier.

For a teen, getting braces can seem like the end of the world, but they’re important for giving your teen a healthy, beautiful smile into adulthood.  Besides reassuring them that their life’s not over, there are some steps you can take to help your child cope with wearing braces.

It used to be that braces were a big metal mess in a teen’s mouth.  Today, there are other alternatives that you can research.  They now make braces with clear brackets and bands so they’re less visible.  They even make “invisible” braces that are simply plastic pieces that fit over your child’s teeth.  Instead of your dentist doing painful adjustments, they simply replace the “braces” every six weeks.   If you do a little research you may find that your child doesn’t need the pain and humiliation that often comes from wearing traditional braces. 

Help your teen focus on the long term benefits of braces.  Many young adults tend to focus on the here and now.  They don’t tend to see the long term benefits that braces give them.  If they start to focus on how braces are going to ruin their life now, help them see that having straight teeth is more beneficial in the future.  If need be, have them bring you their favorite magazine and point out people’s mouths.  While it’s unlikely that anyone in there will be wearing braces, you probably wont find many with crooked teeth either. 

Another problem you may have to help your child with is the physical pain of braces.  While the pain can range from mild discomfort to more severe pain, it generally only lasts an hour or two after adjustments.  Be sure to give them pain killers on their way to the orthodontist’s office.  You should also try to schedule their appointments near the end of the school day.  This way they can go home instead of sitting in class being uncomfortable.

Braces can also prevent your child from playing an instrument or participating in sports.  Be sure to check with your orthodontist for options.  Many times they can give you different equipment or provide an attachment to help your child perform normal activities.

You may not be able to keep your teen from wearing braces, but you can take steps to make them more comfortable.

These are subjects you’ll want to talk about with your children before there is a problem. As a family, you can establish boundaries and consequences and come to a common understanding of what is acceptable.

Sex: According to Advocates for Youth, statistics indicate that children who talk to their parents about sex are less likely to engage in high-risk behavior, such as having sex without condoms. 70.6% of teens who reported they didn’t feel comfortable talking to their parents had sex by age 17-19. That compares to 57.9% of teens who reported a close relationship.

It’s true. Not talking to your children about sex isn’t that likely to keep them from doing it. But the opposite is also true. Talking to them about it, isn’t more likely to have them engaging in sexual activity. If it means having sexually active children behaving maturely, talking things out can only help keep our kids safer.

If you think your child is already having sex, chat with them about it. Don’t get angry, but approach it in a calm and reasonable manner. Talk to them about your experiences and be honest. If your child has a boyfriend/girlfriend and things seem to be getting serious, start the conversation if you haven’t already. Above all, make sure they are being safe.

Drugs & Alcohol: Many professionals agree that when parents talk to their kids about drugs and alcohol, those discussions are very likely to shape the child’s attitude about those subjects.

Before you talk to your kids – educate yourself. Check with your local school, library or even look online for the straight facts about drugs and alcohol. Simply telling your kids, “Drugs and alcohol are dangerous,” isn’t going to be as efficient as truly illustrating the very real dangers of substance abuse. Try not to lecture, listen to what your kids have to say and really talk about the issues.

As always, keep it casual. If you spend time with your teenagers and keep the lines of communication open, bringing up the subject is much easier.

Signs of Drug & Alcohol Use: Look out for these tell-tale signs that your child might be using drugs or alcohol:

• Loss of interest in family and other usual activities.
• Not living up to responsibilities.
• Verbally or physical abusiveness.
• Coming home late.
• Increased dishonesty.
• Declining grades.
• Severe mood swings.
• Big change in sleeping patterns..

Understand that a lot of the above signs, especially near the top of the list, could mean a multitude things. Teenagers who are depressed can act in similar ways. When approaching your child, don’t be accusatory. Try to connect with them and see what’s really happening in their lives.

Additional Resources:

Teen Addiction -  This anthology presents an examination of the causes of teen addiction and various proposals to reduce or solve the problem, as well as the personal narratives of teens struggling to overcome their addictions.

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