Parenting My Teen

Peer pressure is a fact of life. As a child becomes a teenager, your opinions begin to slip into the background and those of their friends take center stage. When that happens, you’ll want your child to be well-equipped with tools to keep their opinion of themselves high even in the face of the opinions of others.

Besides friends, the media and society are all around us. They broadcast their view of what “beautiful” is to the world. It is easy for adults to get caught up in that. Just look at the number of adult cases of anorexia and bulimia. It is not as common as teenage cases but it is there for men and women.

If adults have a hard time with self-esteem and body image then teens will too. There are so many hormones raging at the same time that their bodies are changing by leaps and bounds. The hardest part to accept is that the internal changes are going on without their permission. Psychological conditions like anorexia and bulimia give back a measure of control over their bodies that many teens crave.

But, there are other ways to exert that control and it all begins with you, the parent. It begins in early childhood. Right from the start do what you can to teach your child that they are beautiful and validated. Here are some tips.

• Offer positive feedback to your teen – When they buy a new outfit, complement them on their choice even if you don’t much like the color. That is a personal preference and they are allowed to express themselves and their style.
• Promote physical activity – This doesn’t have to be structured exercise. Instead spend time each day doing an outdoor activity as a family. Your child will get used to physical activity and see it as a way to have fun and release stress in the process. Consider an after dinner walk with the family to discuss how your day has been.
• Offer healthy food choices in the house – When healthy food is always on the menu, there is no reason to look at food in a negative light. Sure, it’s okay to eat sugary sweets in moderation and they can learn that within the household.
• Teach your children about food – Most kids love to cook. It gives you a chance to take a break from fixing meals and also to teach your child about the components of foods. Allow them to taste the natural flavor of fresh vegetables and fruits without added condiments. Discuss how fats add empty calories but a few are fine in moderation.
• Avoid negative talk about food – This can make your child feel guilty every time they eat a certain food. It can result in them still eating it but hiding it from you. That sets them up for negative body images of themselves.
• Empower them – No matter what they want to do, they can do it if they put their mind to it. This means breaking into a “boys only” sport or running for student body president. Instill confidence in them and their abilities.
• Discuss societal views – Teens have questions. The best place to get answers is from you. Talk about how they feel towards society’s idea of perfect and normal. Let them know that they are allowed to be an individual and inject their style into society. 
• Get them involved in the community – Taking part in empowerment seminars, youth organizations and community service helps them to see and be a part of the world outside of them. By focusing on others and helping them, you increase good internal feelings about who you are. It helps to put all of life into a realistic perspective.

Body image is a psychological picture of who you are. As a parent, strengthening that view from the beginning is important for your child. It can also help you to let go of any negative self-image issues that you might have. A child is a blank slate. Encourage them to be all they can be and happy in the skin they are in.

Here are some Easy Breakfast Recipes for all kids

The Weight Loss Diet eBook - The Original Negative Calorie Foods eBook. Try negative calorie foods & diet to lose that extra fat to attain a slim & fit body. This will ensure a healthy, happy and long life.

Many parents will openly admit that their teens don’t get enough sleep and many parents are on the lookout for good sleep tips for teenagers.  It’s generally well known that exercise improves sleep, but for teens this may have special significance.  A recent study showed a sharp distinction between the sleep quality of teens who sat in front of a computer for more than two hours a day or a television for more than four hours a day, and those who exercised instead. The teens who sat in front of the computer did so recreationally – that is, they did social networking, played games, and so forth.

This “sedentary behavior” had a profound effect on the teens’ sleep quality. Teens who exercised instead of spending time in front of the computer reported sleeping for eight hours or more, while the sedentary teens got insufficient sleep.

Teens are a special concern regarding exercise and sleep. There are several reasons for this, such as the following:

• Teens are more likely to spend recreational time in front of a computer.
• Teens tend to stay up late due to homework and/or circadian rhythm changes.
• Teens actually need more sleep per night (between nine and ten hours) than the average adult. 
• Teens are in school, and schoolwork is often very demanding and requires sufficient sleep to be tackled effectively.
• Teens’ brains are still developing.

In other words, teens are the most likely group to get insufficient sleep, yet they are the group that needs it most.  So how does exercise improve sleep for teens? 

Here are a few sleep tips for teenagers

For one thing, teens who do not exercise are more likely to be obese, and obesity affects sleep quality. According to the study referred to above, chronic sleep deprivation affects teens’ immune systems, the cardiovascular system, and the brain (which, in teens, is still developing). Exercise has been shown to help in all these areas – cardiovascular, immune, and neurological systems are all said to be positively impacted by exercise.

Exercise also makes your teen tired in a good way, and research shows it reduces stress. Stress can really keep your teen up at night, so exercising may relieve that stress and improve sleep. Regular exercise also boosts the appetite, and if parents keep lots of healthy food around, teens may be more likely to eat even foods they have shunned in the past. Intake of more healthy food also helps promote overall health and, by extension, sleep quality.

Generally speaking, vigorous cardiovascular exercise is the best for promoting sleep. Stretching and other forms of exercise are certainly good for the body and may help promote relaxation, thus aiding sleep; but experts agree that at least 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise – preferably in the afternoon – has the most benefit.

By using the sleep tips for teenagers in the above article, your teen will be on his/her path to a better nights sleep.

Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen This toolkit offers parenting help and help solve the mysteries in understanding your teen.

As a parent, we like to think we can shield our children from the worst in life until they are old enough to handle it. Realistically, we do what we can, but even our elementary school kids deal with serious issues. A recent news story brought this to mind: Demi Lovato, a Disney starlet, entered a residential treatment center last year, and now was telling the world about her struggle with an eating disorder, one she developed at eight years old. It started with compulsively overeating, and progressed to purging, and/or severely restricting eating. At eleven years old, without a healthy way to deal with her emotions, she started mutilating her own body. To be sure, her life as an actress and singer in the Disney family was anything but typical, but it is still distressing for a parent to think that a child could keep this level of distress hidden. She is now on a crusade (the Love is Louder project with Seventeen Magazine), revealing all of her struggles to help other girls avoid the same path. If we parents are paying attention, we can learn from her too, and help our children by being informed and aware.

We are the strongest influences over our children. What we say matters, and what we do matters more. One study showed that 46% of the 9-11 year olds surveyed are “sometimes” or “very often” on diets, and 82% of their families are also “sometimes” or “very often” on diets. That is startling and sad. What can we do to instead promote positive attitudes about weight and health?

Stop the fat talk

If you make negative remarks about your body, make a conscious effort to stop. When you cut yourself down, you are undermining your own self-confidence a little at a time, and teaching your kids to treat themselves the same way. If you find yourself looking down on other people for their weight and appearance, work to overcome that habit. Be respectful of all shapes and sizes, and insist on the same from those around you: family, friends, co-workers. You are shaping the world that your kids will inhabit very soon.

Cultivate healthy attitudes

Exercise because it is good for you, and because you appreciate the strength and energy it gives you. Enjoy your food and be selective about what food you enjoy. Sit down for meals, and involve your kids in their preparation. Keep the rules about food to a minimum – they end up being more about control than nourishment. For example, set meal and snack times are good, but there should be no rewards or punishments for eating or not eating. Comfort with your arms and words, not food.

 Signs your child may have an eating disorder

Chances are, if your son or daughter is binging or restricting their food, they are trying to hide it from you. Unfortunately, these behaviors are disturbingly pervasive in teenage girls, and increasingly so in teenage boys, particularly those involved in sports with weight restrictions like wrestling. One 2005 study found that over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives.

 Be alert for a combination of these signs, adapted from Helpguide.org and Something-Fishy.org

• Preoccupation with body or weight
• Distorted, negative self-image
• Wearing loose clothing to hide weight loss or body shape
• Obsession with calories, food, or nutrition
• Constant dieting, even when thin
• Rapid, unexplained weight loss or weight gain
• Taking laxatives, diet pills, or steroids
• Compulsive exercising
• Making excuses to get out of eating
• Avoiding social situations that involve food
• Going to the bathroom right after meals, running water to hide vomiting sounds
• Eating in isolation, in secret, or at night
• Hoarding high-calorie food
• Visiting websites that promote unhealthy weight loss 

Tips for bringing up a touchy topic

Eating disorders are a cry for help, and as a parent, you are the first responder. This probably won’t be a pleasant conversation, but it need not be a dramatic, emotional confrontation. That kind of interventions is sometimes necessary as a last resort when the victim is in deep denial and mortal danger. You, on the other hand, are just being a nosy, caring parent, probing for the first signs of trouble. This is still necessary, however. Your son or daughter can recover from an eating disorder, but the longer it persists the harder it will be for them. Consider also getting therapy yourself or joining a support group such as Overeaters Anonymous.

• Don’t expect too much from the first conversation. There is a lot of shame wound up in disordered eating, and your child’s first reaction will likely be to get defensive or deny there is a problem. Be patient and do not take their emotional displays personally.
• Find a therapist knowledgeable about eating disorders that you trust. Your love and support are necessary and helpful, but you can make up for your lack of training and experience by teaming up with a professional. 
• Focusing on your nonjudgmental concern will be most productive, for example, “it scares me when I hear you throwing up” rather than anger or guilt trips like “How could you do this to your mother?”
• Do mention moments when you were concerned for them.
• Avoid comments about their appearance, or the amount of food they are eating. Comments such as “you are too skinny” or “you just need to be careful what you eat” only reinforce an obsession with weight and desire for control.
• Be positive. Keep the setting and timing neutral and comfortable. Especially if your child is familiar with Demi Lovato, watching the interview about her treatment and recovery might help you raise difficult questions.  

Hope for the future

A full recovery is possible, and your support is an integral factor. Demi is doing great with the support of her family, friends, and fans. She seems to be making all the right choices, though only time will tell if the changes she has made are permanent ones.
If you are concerned, educate yourself with the resources available at the National Institute of Mental Health site, the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) Parent Toolkit, or call the NEDA Helpline at 800-931-2237. Reach out and get support for yourself too, whether from a support group or a therapist, so you can remain strong for your child and the rest of your family.

As adults, we know the importance of eating a balanced meal. Throughout the years, your children have been taught the same things you have about eating healthy meals too. However, as kids get older and become more involved in school activities and their social lives, eating healthy tends to be forgotten. This is especially true for high school students as they seem to always be busy with something or other. They tend to grab the first thing they can when they’re hungry whether it’s a Snickers bar or a Granola bar…they really don’t care. However, it’s important that high school students get the nutrients they need on a daily basis because they will be able to concentrate more and perform better at school. So, how are parents supposed to help high school students eat healthier?

The truth is that you aren’t going to be able to control what your high school student eats when he isn’t around you…or home. However, you can still play an important role in the types of foods he receives when he’s at home or under your supervision (traveling to and from sporting events, etc.). Below are a few ideas to help you emphasize healthy eating to your high school student.

Don’t Nag – Lead By Example. The first thing you need to do is lead by example. Believe it or not, teens are very watchful creatures. They do pay attention to their parents, especially to what their parents do and how they act. Therefore, create a healthy example by choosing healthy food options when you dine out with the family or have to swing through McDonalds on the way to an extracurricular activity.

Prepare Healthy Meals at Home. If you want your teen to eat at least one or two healthy meals a day, then you will have to prepare them yourself. Don’t depend on your teen to make the choice to roast a chicken instead of tossing a pizza in the oven. The best way to ensure your teens get some nutrition during the day is to plan ahead and prepare healthy, nutritious meals at home. If you’re a busy parent, break out the crockpot a few times a week. It makes cooking healthy meals a breeze. And, you can cook breakfast casseroles in them, as well as, healthy dinner meals!

Be Careful What Snacks You Choose. Because teenagers are going through a lot of physical, emotional and hormonal changes, their bodies are in constant need of energy which makes them eat more frequently. Therefore, when you go grocery shopping, be careful of the types of snack foods you purchase. It’s easy to grab a couple bags of chips, soda pop and cookies, but these foods are not nutritious. Instead, purchase a variety of fruits, granola bars, trail mixes and whole grain breads. If the only foods you have in stock are healthy foods, then those are the foods your teens are going to snack on.

Have a Family Cooking Night. If you want to raise awareness of healthy eating in your teens, then consider having a family cooking night where everyone is in the kitchen helping prepare a healthy meal together. This will not only raise your teen’s awareness of healthy foods, but also help them learn how to cook which is vital when out in the real world!

 (NEW YORK) September 26, 2011 –Below you can read 6 Tips on how to  Create Safe Routes to School!   

6 Tips to Create Safe Routes to School  (NEW YORK) September 26, 2011 – October is International Walk to School Month. Walking and biking to school is a great way to help young people increase their daily physical activity and build healthy lifelong habits. Join the growing walk to school movement by participating in one of the many national walking events, or by starting one of your own.

The Alliance for a Healthier Generation, a national non-profit founded by the American Heart Association and the William J. Clinton Foundation to combat childhood obesity has some tips to get you and your child out the door and walking towards a healthier lifestyle.

• You don’t have to go it alone: Reach out to other parents and community members. Form a walking group with other parents and their children. Walking in groups is safer and more social. Approach your school’s Parent Teacher Association with the idea.
• Map Your Route: Plan and test a route that is safe and enjoyable. Try to find a park or playground through which you can walk. Engage local businesses in your effort to make your neighborhood healthier.
• Don’t be afraid to take the first step: Be a leader for your child and your community by starting a walking trend that makes your community a healthier place.
• Be green, be healthy: Take cars off the streets by walking, not driving to school. Fewer cars translate to reduced emissions and reduced traffic. It’s also a great way to work towards the recommended one hour of moderate physical activity per day!
• Turn off that TV, lace up those shoes: If you or your child watches television in the morning before school, use some of that time to get a head start on your walk. Many children spend more time watching television than in meaningful contact with parents. Walk to change that trend.
• Put the pedals to the pavement: Support your health and your local biking community by putting on a helmet and biking to work or school. Arrive at school or work energized and ready for a great day!

About the Alliance for a Healthier Generation The Alliance for a Healthier Generation works to address one of the nation’s leading public health threats – childhood obesity. The goal of the Alliance is to reduce the prevalence of childhood obesity by 2015, and to empower kids nationwide to make healthy lifestyle choices. Founded in 2005 by the American Heart Association and William J. Clinton Foundation, the Alliance works to positively affect the places that can make a difference to a child’s health: homes, schools, doctor’s offices and communities.

For more information please visit: HealthierGeneration.org.