According to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center,  “teen suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers –  almost 2,000 teens kill themselves each year.”  Depression is one of the leading causes of teen suicide.  It is estimated that “over 90% of  teen suicide victims have a mental disorder, such as depression,  and/or a history of alcohol or drug abuse.”  The National Institute of Mental Health considers depression “to be a real medical illness and  it’s treatable.”

 What drives a teen to commit suicide?  What is so horribly wrong in their lives that ending it is the only alternative?  There are risk factors involved in teen suicide: Peer pressure, low self-esteem, dysfunctional family, stress, and access to drugs, guns, and an  unyielding desire to make the pain disappear. 

Teen suicide has and is becoming a pandemic in our country and around the world.  Our youth has become entrenched in an ideology doled out by those who seek to control, persuade and coerce our teenagers.  At the same time, communication between parent and child has become, in most situations, non-existent.  This leaves teens to fend for themselves in areas they are too young to understand and too eager to  become engaged in.

Our music, movies, and educational system have let down our teens in  the most rudimentary way.  Our teens lack guidance and care.  They are the fabric of our society which has been shredding for years and have been reduced to a statistic.  Our child services, our family courts, our teens’ caregivers have offered nothing to assert the importance of self-worth.  Over the years, the make-up of the “family” has dramatically changed.  The two-parent household has, in some cases, changed to one.  A teen’s family could be his gang members who, on a daily basis, feed into the destruction of that teen. Morality has become passé.  Many youth have become self-absorbed in an underworld of hatred and self-loathing.

Have all teenagers talked or even thought about suicide?  No.   However, the statistics are frightening.  Who is responsible for this outbreak?  Some would agree parents should take a stronger role in their child’s life from the outset.  A teenager doesn’t suddenly choose to die unless something terribly wrong has pushed him/her over the edge.  We cannot allow them to choose that end game.

Teenagers do become depressed, alone, angry, hopeless and helpless.  As parents, as friends, as educators, as guardians of this precious commodity – we cannot allow them to succeed in what they think may be in their best interest.  They must be given a reason to live, to love, to become needed and useful members of our society.  We, as adults, must educate and interact with our youth in a positive, caring and thoughtful way to ensure they have the proper tools with which to grow and gain empowerment.  How can we do anything less?

 Contact the Statewide Suicide Hotline at 1-800-564-2120 for more information

When our children are young we have a large say in their lives. They look up to us with awe and love. When our children grow, they still love us, but rather than looking at mom or dad for advice, they turn to others. If you’re worried about peer pressure, teen cliques and how to deal with them, here are our top tips:

1. Reinforce your family values. Children have an inner need to belong to a group. By letting your child feel early on in life that your family is their own group, you create strong family foundations. Refer to your family as “the family name” to reinforce your values as a whole. For example – we are the Connors and “the Connors” don’t smoke or “the Connors” don’t use aggression to resolve problems.

If your children hear you saying these statements or similar from early on, they learn that they are indeed part of a bigger group – your family unit. Regularly speak to your children about the world and situations and your thoughts on those topics. By allowing your children to see how you view the world you give them a glimpse into what is important to the family as a whole.

2. Build up their self-esteem. Teens often join cliques or are pressured into situations because they feel bad about themselves. While this isn’t always the case and sometimes teens just want to “fit in” or “be cool,” it’s often a factor. Let your teen know what their strengths are. When our children are little we often praise the many things they do – we clap when they take their first steps or say their first word. However, as our children grow our praise tends to diminish.

While you don’t have to clap for every little thing your teen does, they still need praise and to know they’re doing things right. Let your child know you’re proud of them and that you love them. Acknowledge their accomplishments. Some days the only positive thing you may find is the simple act of putting their dishes away, but by saying a simple “thanks, I appreciate you putting your plate away” you let them know that you notice even the small positive things they do.

If your child suffers from severe low self-esteem, it may be wise to seek help from a professional. Low self-esteem may lead to other issues such as depression and can wreak havoc in your teen’s life.

3. Don’t worry about the little things. While you have every right to be concerned if you feel your child is getting in with the wrong crowd, sometimes as parents we have a tendency to overreact. If your teen dyes their hair green, this doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re doing drugs or are ready to drop out of school. Speak to your child; it may be that they are simply experimenting or finding “their style.”

Teens get to a stage where they’re trying to find their feet and their independence in a grown-up world. It’s important to give them a little space to figure this out. It’s also important to trust that as a parent you have already set strong foundations for your child. Now may be time to sit back and show some faith in them.

However, if you do feel at any time that your teen is in trouble or has gotten into the wrong crowd, it is important to act on those feelings. No one knows your child better than you. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts as a parent and take action.

Teen got you frazzled?  Click here for real guidance right now

More articles on this topic: Helping Teens Deal with Peer Pressure, Dealing with Peer Pressure, Teen Peer Pressure

One of the common worries as parents of teens can be abusive relationships. This is a sensitive topic to approach with your teen, but well worth the effort. Even if you don’t suspect that your teen is in such a relationship, it’s important to speak to them about the possibilities and what they can do if they find themselves in an abusive relationship.

Be open and honest. The more open and honest we are as parents, the more positive connections we will form with our teens. Sit down with your teen in a quiet spot at a convenient time and ask them about their thoughts on the subject. Your teen may very well surprise you with their maturity and serious response to the matter.

Let your child know that you care about them and want them to know how to get help if they or someone they know is ever faced with this situation. By approaching your teen in an honest and caring way, you let them know you are on their side – something teenagers often struggle with.

Get involved. As our children grow it gets more difficult to remain a part of their lives. By regularly getting involved and being part of your child’s life, it will be easier to pick up on signals of an abusive relationship. Speak to your teen’s teachers and stay on top of their school activities. Know your teen’s friends and their parents. The closer you are to their “inner circle” the better your chances of staying in contact and knowing when to step in as a parent.

Another good way to stay connected with your teens is to make your home the “safe haven” for them and their friends. This doesn’t mean that rules don’t apply or that you will be more of a friend rather than a parent. But by providing a non-judgmental place for your teen and their friends to hang out, you get an inner view into their life and know the people they spend possibly large portions of time with.

Setting fair but firm boundaries will let everyone know that rules do apply, but that they are welcome in your house. By providing activities such as movie nights and lots of food as well as a little privacy for your teens and their friends, you provide a place they’ll want to come to.

Know when to take action. Abusive relationships are no laughing matter. A teen involved in this type of relationship is in real danger. If you do suspect that your teen or one of their friends is involved in such a relationship, it may be time to take action.

Speak to your child and their friends and other parents. Find out everything you can about the situation and act quickly. And although a teen in such a relationship may initially resist help or see the parent as the “bad” one, the main thing to focus on now is helping your teen remain safe.

If your teen has been involved in an abusive relationship, it may be wise to seek counseling. This is a trauma that may last with them for many years. By getting counseling early on you can start to help heal the wounds.

Honest Parenting: is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.

Stories of violent teens are in the news regularly. Violent teens cause problems with their peers, family members, and even with strangers. There is no limit to a violent teen’s capabilities, and as a parent of a violent teen, it can seem overwhelming to be on the receiving end of their violence. These troubled teens commit random acts of violence as well as cold, calculated serious crimes, including murder. There have been numerous school shootings and problems with kids carrying guns to school threatening other students. It seems as if there is nothing off limits now for teens expressing their anger and acting out in violence.

Causes of Teen Violence

There are endless possibilities for causes of teen violence, including racism, drugs and alcohol, taunting and teasing, or a disadvantaged home life. Mental and chemical imbalances can also play a role in teen violence. Teens are frustrated and feel that they aren’t understood. It is irrelevant to them that, as parents, you were once teens too. In many ways, the difficulty is understandable. There are a lot of pressures put on teens: They have to get good grades; they have the pressures to fit in with friends and class mates. Teens have relationship issues. Depression can also play a part with violent teens. Many teens just don’t know where to turn for help with their overwhelming emotions.

Accepting the Reality of the Situation

We need to realize in our society that violent teens are a real threat. We have to stop underestimating the feelings and abilities of violent teens. Parents and other authoritative figures in a teen’s life must stay aware and not ignore warning signs. As exposure to violence has increased, so has teen violence. Teens act out to express feelings that they otherwise don’t know how to articulate. We have to help teens find words to express the way they feel to decrease the chances that they will act out their feelings in violence.

Information and Education

As parents you must take the initiative to educate yourself on the resources available in your community. There are support groups and classes you can take to increase both your knowledge and the knowledge that you are able to impart to your teens. It is not sufficient to simply tell your teens that violence is not an acceptable way to express feelings. You have to give them the tools and resources that will ensure their success. As much as you need to encourage the use of appropriate coping skills, it also has to be made clear that violence will simply not be tolerated. The earlier in life this idea is introduced and enforced will make it that much less likely to prove to be a problem as kids get older and are faced with more difficult situations.

Anger Management Skills

There are several simple ideas that can help diffuse the emotions of violent teens.

•Breathing exercises
•Anger management classes
•Counseling
•Parental support and communication
•Exercise

Parents and caregivers need to partner together to provide the best possible support system for our teens. We have to get our violent teens under control for the safety of our society and the future well being and quality of life for next generations.

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I live in a small, rural area and we attend church in a small town in rural Northern Michigan. If you’ve been following this blog, you probably know by now that I’m a youth leader in our church. And since I’m pretty close to a lot of the teens that attend, I know a lot about the issues they are facing. And just because we live in a small rural area, doesn’t mean that our teens are exempt from dealing with some pretty heavy issues; issues that are a lot deeper than when I was a teenager.

Today’s teens are faced with issues like their friends becoming pregnant, friends dying of overdoses, friends being abused sexually, physically and emotionally, cutting, low self esteem and so on. And it’s not just our teen’s friends facing these issues, more and more teens are facing these issues themselves.

As a parent of a teen, you’re probably wondering what you can do to protect and help your teen when they are facing some of these issues. The first thing to do is to educate your teen.  Sit down with your teen and have a heart to heart with them and let them know your stance on these issues. For instance, how do you feel about sex before marriage? What is your stance on drinking and partying? It will help your teen make wise decisions if they know how you feel about these issues in advance, which will protect them and help them to not make the wrong decision.

However, if your teen does make a mistake, such as getting pregnant or underage drinking, the best thing you can do is help and support them. It doesn’t mean you agree with or condone what they did, it simply means you love and care for them and will help them the best way that you can. That means emotionally and probably financially. However, that does not mean enabling them to continue down a road of drunkeness, unprotected sex, or whatever the issue may be. As parents, it’s our responsibility to guide and direct our children the best we can. We need to be proactive in their lives and often this may require us stepping in, even when they think they don’t want us to. But in the long run they will appreciate it and come to understand why you did what you had to to protect them and help them.