Parenting My Teen

The time has come!  Your teen has just received his license and the worry begins.  Although summer is just around the corner, teens that drive will be spending more time on the road.  To this end, here are tips for keeping your teen safe on the road this summer:

* Set ground rules as to when your teen can use the car.  Daytime driving in the beginning, at least for the first six months; then gradually allow your teen to drive at night; but only up until a certain hour.
* Teach by example.  Do not drive and use a cell phone; or eat while driving.  Don’t tailgate or speed; or invoke any road rage when driving.  Never drink and drive.  Wearing seat belts is now a law; therefore, follow all of the rules and regulations taught in driving school.  Your teen will take note, and follow your lead.
* Limit the areas where your teen can drive, at least until he or she has been driving for a while.
* Do not allow any passengers in the car for at least six months.  They need to understand the rules of the road, and not engage in conversation with friends.  These can ultimately distract them causing an accident.
* Ensure your car is well maintained.  Check the tires regularly; windshield wiper fluid; water; brakes; windshield wipers, etc.
* Accompany them as much as possible in the beginning; pointing out hazards they may come across such as holes; construction, and the like.  Mix up the routes so they become used to driving to different places.
* Take your teen to your regular gas station, so they become acquainted with the personnel, and can select the proper gas for your car.  Teach them how to put air in the tires as well.
* If you don’t already have one, purchase an emergency road kit, and explain each item to the teen.
* Teach your teen how to change a tire, how to use road flares, and what to do in an emergency.

These tips for keeping your teen safe on the road this summer probably need to be mentioned often to help them remember.  Another thing to point out is that while they are a safe driver, others on the road may not be.

As you know, May is here and it’s time for the graduation ceremonies for so many high-school students. Luckily, your teen is just finishing up his/her Junior year of high-school and you still have a year left before your time comes to say good-bye. While you have a year to prepare yourself for the hard good-bye, there are many things that you need to do to help your teen get ready for graduation day. Below is a list of tips to help you get started.

Start Planning College Visits: More than likely, your teen already has a few places in mind where he would like to go to college. However, the summer before his Senior year is the time when your teen needs to pick out 3-4 “top picks” for where he wants to go to college. Once this is done, it’s time to start planning days to go and tour these college campuses together.

Be Objective and Flexible: While it’s understandable that you’ve got dreams for your teenager, you need to remain objective and flexible to your teen’s wishes and desires. Perhaps, your teen has decided she doesn’t want to go to college right away, but would instead like to go to a vocational school to learn a particular skill. This is okay too. Keep in mind that college isn’t for everyone, and there are many successful people in the world who never went to college. Likewise, there are many professionals out there that don’t require a college education. If your teen is interested in one of these professions, it may not be necessary for her to attend college.

Be Supportive: Another important thing for parents to keep in mind when helping their teens make decisions regarding what they will do after their high-school graduation is to always be supportive. You may not agree with what they want to do, but remember that this is their future and they have a right to go in a different direction then what you may want. Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t tell them your opinions, just do so in an objective and supportive way. For example, say things like, “I understand why you want to do that, but have you considered the pros and cons of this option?”

Be Helpful: Finally, although your teen is preparing for life after graduation, he will still need some help from you during his Senior year…even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Therefore, you might begin helping him gather and fill out college applications. Also, go and visit college campuses with him and encourage him to visit with some of the available professors and administrative staff. And, don’t be afraid to ask any questions that you have during your visit. Your teen most definitely won’t think of everything.

It’s understandable if you dread thinking about your teen’s graduation day and the good-bye that will come shortly after. However, this is an exciting time for your teenager and he/she needs your support and needs to be excited for him/her too. Hopefully the above tips will help you show your teen how excited and supportive you are as their graduation approaches.

It’s already May and many parents are watching their “babies” as they become high-school graduates. For most parents, this is a time of great relief, joy and sadness…all at once. Why? Parents are relieved that they (and their kids) survived the past 18 years. They share their teens’ excitement and joy at reaching this big achievement, but they are also sad at the realization that their teens is an adult and will be moving out soon. At least this is the way it works for most high-school graduates.

The majority of teens have a plan in place at the beginning of their senior year whether it’s to go off to college or get a full-time job and move in to their own apartment. However, there are still teens out there who lack the motivation to do any of this. It may be that they don’t know what they want to do with their life or they may just enjoy not having any responsibility. The trouble is that many parents welcome the opportunity to keep their teens at home because they fear what will happen if they let them go.

While it’s normal for parents to think this way, it’s important that you realize that your it’s in your teen’s best interest to get out on his own and be independent. Yes, they may stumble a few times along the way, but that’s the best way for them to learn how to make their way through this life. If they are allowed to stay at home without having to do anything, how are they ever going to learn what the “real world” is like. This also leads to the question about finding a spouse…independence is more attractive then dependence.

Therefore, if you are looking forward to becoming a grandparent in the future, you need to encourage your teen to become independent. So, how are you supposed to do this? There are several things you can do to encourage independence in high school graduates.

1. Require a Job – If you have decided to let your teen live at home after high-school, you need to require that they have a job. If they are going to college and living at home, that’s great – but a part-time job should still be a requirement. It’s time that your teen learns the value of money and the only way that will happen is if he/she has to work for their money and pay for things.
2. Turn Over Expenses – There are many things that parents pay for while their kids are in high-school. Things such as the car payment, car insurance, cell phone bill, entertainment and clothing. However, these are all items that post-graduates should be responsible for. Even if they are living at home…and especially if they aren’t in school. Requiring your live-at-home-teen to pay some of his expenses is the best way to encourage independence.
3. Talk About Moving – While you may not be excited at the thought of your teen moving out and becoming independent, you shouldn’t NOT talk about it. When the topic comes up, encourage your teen to start looking for apartments and help him come up with a budget to determine what he can afford.

Thinking about high-school graduates becoming independent adults is understandably difficult, but encouraging them toward independence is the best thing you can do. After all, isn’t our goal as parents to raise responsible and independent adults who are a valuable asset to their communities?

It’s hard to believe graduation is already here. More than likely, it feels like just yesterday you had to take your child to kindergarten for the first time. It’s amazing how fast time flies for parents isn’t it? Now your teen has completed high-school and is about to embark on a journey of his own…and you’re left with an empty nest. What are you going to do now? Below are several ideas of new and exciting things for you to try.

Learn Something New: As parents, there are many things that get put on hold as we are trying to raise our kids. This includes exploring new interests. However, once your teen graduates high-school and moves out, you’ll find that you have a lot of extra time on your hands. This is the perfect time to explore those interests that got put on the back burner all those years ago. Take the time to visit the library and check out a book or sign up for a class to learn more about a particular topic.

Go on Trips: Now that your teen is out of the house, you have the extra time and money to go on trips. If you have always wanted to go on a cruise, then book it! Perhaps, you’ve always wanted to take a weekend road trip, but your weekends were consumed with attending your teen’s sporting events or other extracurricular activities. Well, now you can take that weekend road trip and not worry about a thing!

Have Date Nights: Many parents get so consumed with their child’s life and all the activities going on with that child that they forget to take time out for themselves. Then, once their last teenager walks across the stage at graduation, they suddenly panic because they don’t think they have anything in common with their spouse. Use this time to reconnect with your significant other and go out on regular date nights once a week. You’ll find it refreshing and fun getting to know each other again.

Pamper Yourself: Over the past 18 years, the majority of your money has went to your child whether it was for food, clothing or extracurricular activities. You’ve made a lot of sacrifices and now your teen has graduated high-school and is off to college. Now, it’s your turn to pamper yourself. Go get a massage once a week if you want or buy that new outfit you’ve been wanting.

While your teen’s graduation night will seem bittersweet, it is also a time to celebrate as you successfully raised your child into adulthood. Now, do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do. And, do them without regret!

Purchasing graduation gifts can be hard to do as one never knows exactly what a teen needs before leaving for college. Even parents with graduating teens can have a hard time deciding what to get their teens for a graduation gift. Below are some graduation gift ideas to help you out with this decision.

Money – Every teenager loves to receive money…especially at graduation. There are many things last minute items your teen will need to purchase once on the college campus. Having a little extra money will come in handy during these times.

College Gift Cards – While cash is great, if you want to make sure your teen’s monetary gift gets spent on useful items, consider getting a bookstore gift card where the teen is going to college in the fall.

Computer – Obviously, college-bound students are not going to be able to get their assignments done if they don’t have their own computer. While this wasn’t an issue 15 years ago, it is now. Therefore, if your teen doesn’t have his or her own computer, then this is something that will make an excellent high-school graduation gift.

Luggage – Many teenagers don’t have a need for a set of luggage until they move away from home. High-school graduates who are moving away in the fall for college will need a good suitcase or two, making a luggage set a wonderful graduation gift.

Camera – While the majority of teen cell phones have a built-in camera, many high-school graduates don’t actually own a real digital camera of their own. Of course, there isn’t anything wrong with taking pictures from a cell phone, but it’s always nice to have an actual camera on hand for taking on trips. Therefore, consider purchasing a digital camera for the graduate.

Laundry Items – If you’re looking for a practical gift that the new graduate will find useful, consider giving her a laundry basket full of laundry necessities. For instance, a bottle of Tide laundry detergent, as well as, a bottle of fresh-smelling laundry softener is a great start. You can also include a few towels with matching wash cloths if you desire.

Organizational Items – College bound graduates will love receiving organizational items for graduation. Things like calendars, digital planners and various desk accessories are all great gifts that will help them stay on top of things at college.

The list above are just a few of the many types of graduation gifts you can give any high-school graduate. It doesn’t matter if you’re a parent, friend or distant family member, fun and useful graduation gifts are plentiful.