Parenting My Teen

One of the worst things parents can do as their kids get closer to dating is think that teenage dating works the same way it did when they were that age. As time goes on, things change. Just look at all the technological advances that have occurred during the last two decades. It’s the same for teenage dating.  Below is a parents guide to teenage dating and listed are a few things you need to know about teenage dating to fully understand the new “rules” that kids are going by.

First, there is no teenage dating rule that says a boy has to be the one to ask the girl on a date any more. Now, girls are asking just as frequently as the boys are. However, there are still a few conservative girls out there. If you want your daughter to be one of these girls, then you will need to start talking to her about what teenage dating is all about long before those years are here. You will also need to explain to her why you feel it’s important for her to be conservative and how it will help her in the future.

Secondly, teenage dating isn’t nearly as innocent as it used to be. Not that many years ago, teenage dating was more about getting to know someone by going out to the movies and then, once the movies were over, possibly driving out to a secluded area to “make out.” Back then, for most teens, this didn’t mean experimenting with sex. Also, most teens wouldn’t go to these areas unless they knew the person really well. This is not how it works today. In fact, it appears to be that teens are skipping the “get to know you” stage altogether. The reason you need to know about this and understand this unwritten rule is so you can protect your kids. You need to begin talking to them about sex and sexually transmitted diseases years before they begin teenage dating.

Finally, teenage dating doesn’t just happen on a one-on-one basis these days. Many teens go out on group dates with several couples at once. While most parents encourage double dates or group dates, there is a little bit to be concerned about. When teens are out as a group, there is always more peer pressure within the group. Of course, this isn’t a reason for you to restrict your teens from going on group dates, it’s just more of a reason for you to talk to your teens about teenage dating and all the things that can happen.

The above parents guide to teenage dating that is discussed above is not meant to scare you or make you live in fear that your teen is out doing terrible things when on a date. All it is meant to do is help you understand that teenage dating is not what it used to be. To make sure your teen is ready for this new world of dating, talk to him or her several years before they ever go on their first date. In fact, it’s good to start mentioning this kind of stuff when they are around 10 years old because many kids already know about sex by the time they are 11 or 12.

Learn how to make sense of what’s going on with your teen and be able to offer them the help they need.

It used to be that the only way that teens met someone to date was in person. It may have been someone they went to school with, met through a friend, worked with, etc. However, today times have changed and now it’s the era of “online dating.” While many parents don’t want to think about this, it’s quite possible that you may have a teen who decides to date online. What this means, is that your teen will look for their next boyfriend or girlfriend in an online chat room instead of at school, work, the mall, etc. There are several things you need to know when it comes to online dating and how to keep your teens safe from the dangers the internet brings.

Monitor the Computer. While you can’t keep your teens from using the internet and from chatting online, you can monitor where and how they use the computer. It’s not a good idea to allow your teens to be able to get on the internet in the privacy of their room. I know, this sounds terrible and like an invasion of privacy, but if you want your teens to be safe, you need to set some restrictions – especially when it comes to the internet and chat rooms.

Monitor the Pictures Posted. You need to stay on top of the pictures that your teens are posting of themselves online. Not only can these pictures attract child predators, but they can also be damaging to your teen’s future. Colleges and many employers search Google for any information they can find about their applicants. Therefore, to help keep your teen safe whether he or she is dating online or just chatting through Facebook, you need to monitor the pictures that they are posting of themselves.

Talk. Probably the most important thing you can do as a parent of a teen who wants to date online is to just talk to them. Talk to your teen about the potential dangers of online dating. Your teen needs to understand that not everything a person posts or says about himself online is true. The 17 year old boy they’ve been chatting with for a month may very well be a 50 year old man who is trying to get your daughter to meet him along for a “date.” You need to make sure your teen is made aware of all the risks involved with online dating.

Don’t Let Them Meet Someone Alone. It’s important that you don’t let your teen meet someone they’ve been talking to online alone for the first time, if at all possible. Obviously, you can’t make your teens tell you everything, but if your teen is open about wanting to meet someone they’ve met online, then you need to make sure that either you or another couple goes with your teen to meet this person. In fact, it’s best if you require that your teen introduce you to all his or her dates, regardless if they’ve met the person online or offline.

While you can’t protect your teen from everything, especially if they want to date online, you can try to keep them as safe as possible. The tips above will do a lot to help keep your teen safe while dating online. One of the most important things you can do is to let your teen know that you are always there for them by keeping the lines of communication open at all times.

Don’t you remember the days when a guy asked you to go out on a Friday night that you could confidently say “yes” and not worry about whether or not you would be safe? Sadly, those days are long gone. Therefore, it’s important that you, as a parent, go over a few dating safety tips with your teens before they ever go out on their first date.  There are striking cases of dating abuse among teens so below are a few ways you can help make dating safer for your teens.

The first thing you should do, especially if you have a daughter, before you allow your teen to go out on a date is meet the date. So many parents let their teenagers go out on dates without ever meeting the person their teen is going out with. This is a huge mistake because if something happens to your teen, you won’t even be able to give a description of the person he or she went out with.

Another good dating safety tip is to encourage your teenagers to go out with other couples for the first few dates before going out alone with their dates. Dating safety is usually found in numbers which means that the more double dates your teen goes on, the safer he or she will be. It will also give you a better peace about the person your teen is dating. Generally, if your teen’s friends approve, then the person your teen is dating isn’t that bad.

You should also always give your teens a curfew when they are out on dates. You also need to be strict with the curfew. Don’t allow your teens to come home 30 minutes late and get by with it. Your teens will probably feel like you’re establishing a curfew just to be strict, but this is an important part of dating safety for teens. For example, if your teen is always on time for curfew, then you will know when something is wrong and your teen is in danger if he or she doesn’t make it home on time. This is when it’s time to notify the authorities.

Another great dating safety tips for parents to implement is a “Help” code. Your teens need to know that they can call you at any time for help and you’ll be right there. A lot of parents tell their teens this, but they don’t like to call them because they feel like they are being childish. So, to help your teen with this, create a code word or phrase for your teens to use if they need you to come and get them. For example, you could have your teens call you and say, “I forgot to tell you that Aunt Alice called today.” This is a great way for your teens to tell you they need you to come and get them without losing their friends’ respect.

Dating safety is important for parents to teach to their teens before they begin dating. The tips above should help you protect your teens when they are out on a date, but you also need to talk to your teens too. Don’t feel like your teens should automatically know not to accept a ride or a drink from someone they don’t know. So, don’t underestimate the power of talking to your teens too.

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Parents of teenagers and those who have children quickly approaching the teenage years are generally concerned about how old the appropriate age is for their teens to begin dating. If you’re looking for a straight to-the-point answer to this question, you aren’t going to get one in this article. The reason is because teenage dating is a complex issue and the appropriate age for dating to begin varies from teen to teen. However, below you will find guidelines to help you determine whether or not your teenager is mature enough to begin the dating process.

Why Do They Want to Date? The first thing your teens need to be able to tell you is why they want to go out on dates. Some teens think that this is just something they are supposed to do because all of their friends are doing it. Others may think it’s the only way to go out and have fun. However, these are not good reasons for wanting to go out on dates. The more acceptable and mature answer is because they have met someone they really like and would like to get to know better. Teenagers should have a genuine appreciation for the goal behind dating. Dating is actually the same thing as courting and should be viewed the same. Dating is designed to let two people get to know each other better so they can determine whether or not they are right for each other. While this may be a bit deep for your teen to grasp, they should be able to have a decent understanding of this concept when they begin dating – if they don’t, then they probably aren’t mature enough yet to begin dating.  if you find that they are in fact ready to begin dating, be sure to also inform your teen about dating and abuse issues.

How Do They Handle Responsibility? Before you make the decision to let your teen date, you need to consider how well your teen handles his or her current responsibilities. For example, does he or she have a problem getting homework done, practicing for extracurricular activities, getting chores done at home, etc. All of this is important because if your teen isn’t mature enough to handle all of these normal responsibilities, then more than likely, he or she isn’t mature enough to add dating to the mix either.

How Is Their Decision Making? Another important aspect to consider in regards to teenage dating is how well your teen’s decision making is. Is your teen independent and able to make mature decision in tough situations? For example, if all of your teen’s friends get caught for cheating on an exam, was your teen able to withstand the peer pressure and say no or was your teen one of the ones caught cheating? If your teen isn’t able to make the right decisions around his or her peers, then it will be even harder when they are dating and hormones come into play. So, keep this in mind too.

Do You Trust Your Teen? The final thing involved for parents making the teenage dating decision is whether or not you trust your teenager. Of course, your teen is just a teenager and will make mistakes here and there, but no one knows him or her better than you do. So, bottom line – do you trust your teen to make the right decisions when on a date? If you can’t confidently say “yes” to this question then it’s most likely because, deep down, you don’t feel your teen is mature enough to begin dating. Before you allow your teen to date, you have to feel that they are mature enough for it – no matter how old they are.

One of the hardest parts for parents is when their children grow up and become teenagers who want to begin dating. Obviously, dating is a major adjustment for parents and many parents don’t know what to do. Below are a few tips of advice for teenage dating to help you easily adjust to this new stage of your teenager’s life.

Accept It. The first thing all parents need to do is accept the fact that their teens are going to want to date. More than likely, no matter how long ago, you can remember the excitement you felt when you were in high school about to go on your first date. Your teens feel the same way, and this is completely normal. So, to help reduce your stress and anxiety, one of the best pieces of advice for teenage dating that I can give you is to just accept it.

Determine the Rules. Just because your teenager is dating does not mean that you aren’t still in control. You need to set up some rules for your teenager when he or she begins dating. This isn’t just for your benefit, but also for your teen’s safety. It is always wise to meet your teen’s date before they go out – even if it is right before they leave for their date. You should also set a curfew so you won’t be up worrying all night about what your teen is doing or when he or she will be home. Those are the two major rules that need to be in place when you have a teenager who is dating. Of course, you are free to set more rules as you see fit.

Talk About It. Many parents don’t want to talk about dating with their teens, but it’s something that needs to be done before they begin the dating process. The key is to start connecting with your teens and when you talk to your teen about dating, you should talk about the purpose for dating and what they want to get out of it. Obviously, for some teens the goal is to go out and have fun, but as adults we know that eventually the point of dating is to find our spouse. Therefore, it’s always a good idea to emphasize this as the main point for dating. You also need to talk about sex and other dangerous issues involved with dating. Your teens won’t enjoy this part of your talk, but it’s important that they hear about these things from you and get your view on them. This will just help instill a sense of awareness in them when they are out on a date.

Relax. The final piece of advice for teenage dating that I can give you is to just relax. I know, it’s difficult, but you can’t spend every night your teen is out on a date full of worry and anxiety. Have confidence in the values and things you’ve taught your teens over the years. Your teens are old enough and perfectly capable of making the right decisions in tough situation, but if they do make a mistake, it will be okay and a learning experience for them. So, just relax and know that you will survive the teenage dating years.

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