Parenting My Teen

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Archive for the ‘Teen Dating & Sex’

Keeping Your Teens Safe From Online Relationships

By: Aurelia Category: Family, Parenting A Teen, Teen Dating & Sex, Teen Emotional Health

Today, more people are forming friendships and relationships via the Internet. Even though the Internet is a great way to meet new people, it can also be a very dangerous place for a teen. Fortunately, there are a number of ways that you can keep your teen safe from the dangers of online relationships. Below are some tips that will help you keep your child safe:

Talk to Them About Internet Safety

Communicating with your child is one of the most important things that you can do as a parent. That is why you should talk to your teen about Internet safety. In addition to talking to your teen about Internet safety, you should also install an Internet filter on your computer. That will help block websites that contain questionable content. Furthermore, you should encourage your teen to talk to you if he or she is being threatened online.

Monitor Your Teen’s Social Networking Sites

Many teens today use Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites to meet people. These sites also contain predators. That is why you should tell your child to give you his or her password to the social networking site. You should check all of his or her social networking sites at least once a week. Your teen will not like it, but you should explain to him or her that it is for the best.

Do Not Allow Your Child To Have A Computer In His or Her Room

It will be much easier for you to keep tabs on what your teen is doing if the computer is in the family room. Additionally, your teen will be a lot less likely to do something that he or she is not supposed to do if the computer is in the family room.

Know Where Your Child Is Going

Some teens will try to meet up with people that they met online without telling their parents. That is why you should make sure that you know where your child is going at all times. If you get a feeling that your child is being dishonest, then you should not hesitate to pay a surprise visit.

Keeping your teens safe from the dangerous people online is a challenge. The good news is that talking to your child about Internet safety and monitoring your teen’s activity online will make this task easier. Furthermore, you should know where your child is going at all times.

*This is an informational article about keeping your teens safe online. If you want to know more about this or alternative school options, please read more articles on this website.*

How To Handle An Out Of Control Teenager

By: Aurelia Category: Parenting A Teen, Teen Dating & Sex, Teen Emotional Health

A lot of adults and parents become incredibly strict when they begin to catch a drift of defiance in teens. Many parents and guardians are totally baffled with how to handle an out of control teenager. While it’s true that most parents don’t want their child to become an out of control teen, this is exactly what can happen if you are too strict on them. In fact, you may already have a teen in your home that you feel is out-of-control. Below you will find three unconventional tips on how to handle an out of control teenager.

1. Tolerance: The last thing any parent or person in authority wants to do is tolerate the out-of-control behavior. However, some teens react much better, and even stop the undesirable behavior, when adults show a little tolerance. I’m not suggesting you just let your teen do whatever she wants, but I’m suggesting that you don’t blow up over every little thing. When it comes to learning how to handle an out of control teenager, it is imporant to daw a line between what is out of control behavior and what behaviors are not out of control.

 

You really need to consider your situation before you try implementing this tip. Take a look at the teen and try to look at things from her point of view. You may find that your teen is just trying to exercise a little independence. If this is the case, then find areas where you can show tolerance for your teen. For example, if your teen is in band and you require that she practices 30 minutes every day and you want it done right when she gets home, but she fights with you every day about it, and possibly leaves the house as a result, consider letting her make the decision when to practice…as long as it gets done before she goes to bed.

2. Ignore It: Many teens do things just to irritate their parents. In most cases, we’re talking about leaving laundry on the floor or speaking a particular way, but with out-of-control teens we’re usually talking about things like staying out past curfew or leaving the house without telling you where he’s going. If the behavior doesn’t involve anything that is either emotionally or physically harmful such as drugs or alcohol – then try ignoring it.

Sometimes when teens realize they aren’t going to get the reaction they are looking for from you any longer, they will stop the behavior altogether. Part of learning how to handle an out of control teenager is simply trying discern whether your teen is just trying to “push your buttons” or not. If so, try ignoring it and see what happens, you might be surprised!

3. Listen: One of the big mistakes parents of teenagers make is not listening. Many parents see things their teens are doing that they don’t agree with and they begin to lecture them about it…over and over again. This can contribute to your teen becoming an out-of-control teen. Therefore, try listening to your teenager.

 

Teens want to be viewed as adults and often times they act out, become disruptive and even out-of-control when they don’t feel this way. When you take the time to listen to your teen regarding their views, opinions and reasoning before you lecture, you may find your teen starts “coming around.” It’s okay to disagree with your teen – especially if they’re wrong, but at least ask for their reasoning and then, in a calm and non-judgmental way, explain why you feel the way you do.

For more tips on dealing with and learning how to handle an out of control teenager, visit My Out Of Control Teen:  A online parent-program for those who are struggling with their out-of-control teenagers. learn cut-to-the-chase parenting strategies that work immediately rather than months or years down the road.

Also check out No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – Learn how to feel like a good parent even when your teenager hates you. Also learn how get your disrespectful Teenager to LISTEN to what you say & RESPECT you as their parent while getting peace back in your home. Risk Free for 60 Days! No Obligation!”

Signs Your Teen is in a Dangerous Online Relationship

By: Mary Lutz Category: Parenting A Teen, Teen Dating & Sex

The title of this article does appear to be a little odd, I mean, what is a dangerous “online relationship” for a teenager? After all, we all know how teenagers are with relationships…they tend to prefer in-person relationships, right? No. Not anymore. The advances in technology have made it incredibly easy for teens to reach out and meet new people all from the comfort of their home.

A lot of parents don’t think a thing about their teens being online because they know that computers are used for practically everything nowadays. After all, teenagers have to have computers to complete their homework assignments, as well as, keep in touch with their friends. In fact, most teens don’t call their friends anymore. Instead, they “Facebook” their friends or text or use some other form of electronic communication.

While the internet is great for completing homework projects, furthering teen learning and keeping in contact with friends, it is also a dangerous place due to all of the sex offenders that lurk online. If your teen comes in contact with one of these online predators, it can be a very dangerous situation. Below are some of the common signs teens in dangerous online relationships display.

1.      Large Blocks of Time are Spent Online – While you teens will need to be online some of the time they are home, they should not be spending hours online each night. Especially watch for a change in your teen’s behavior on the weekends. If he is opting to stay at home over the weekend instead of going out with friends, then there may be a problem.

2.      Unrecognized Phone Calls – Not all online predators want to keep their “relationships” online…many predators work very hard to establish trust with the teens they connect with so they can get them to meet in person. Part of this often involves talking to them over the phone. If you notice your teen is receiving frequent phone calls from numbers you don’t recognize or is calling unfamiliar numbers, you should look into it.

3.      Suspicious Behavior While Online – If you notice that your teen quickly changes web pages or turns off the computer whenever you walk into the room, then something may be wrong. Some teens are more subtle about it, but you will usually catch them looking around frequently to make sure no one is getting close to the computer while they are using it.

4.      Unexpected Mail/Packages – Another telltale sign of a dangerous online relationship with teens is when they start receiving mail and packages from senders you do not know or places you have never been before.

The four signs listed above are some of the most common displayed by teens involved in dangerous situations online. If you aren’t home when your teen gets home from school and aren’t sure if anything is going on, you can purchase an internet monitoring software package for your computer, like PC Tattletale, to monitor everything that goes on online when your teen is on. If you have reason to believe that your teen is involved in an online correspondence with a sex offender or online predator, you need to contact the authorities.

How Dads Can Help Prepare Their Daughters for Dating

By: Mary Lutz Category: Parenting A Teen, Teen Dating & Sex

While good parenting is something that takes both mom and dad to do, the fact is that when it comes to a teenage girl and dating, one of the best people she should talk to about it is her father. Why? Most likely, her father is the most prominent male figure in her life. Therefore, he is the man who she is watching the most.

This is why it is said that most girls “marry their fathers,” meaning that, in most cases, a woman chooses a husband who has a lot of the same characteristics as her father does…even if they aren’t trying to find a guy like dad. Therefore, if it’s possible, dad should make time to sit down and talk to your daughter about dating and boys. Below are a few tips.

  1. Go Out. Dads, if you want your daughters to have a good understanding of what a real date should consist of, why not show her. Take your daughter out for dinner and a movie and use this opportunity to talk to your daughter about dating and how she should expect to be treated by her date.
  2. Cover the Expectations. As previously mentioned, when on your father-daughter date, tell your daughter that you know she is old enough to start dating but that when she starts this process, she should have certain expectations. For instance, she should expect her date to treat her with respect and to not pressure her into any situation she is uncomfortable with. Explain to your daughter that the entire purpose of dating is to find her future spouse. When a teen has a healthy view of how she should be treated by her date, as well as, what dating is and its purpose, she will be less likely to be caught up in unhealthy relationships.
  3. Talk about Boys. Who else is better equipped than dad to talk about teenage boys? After all, you were one yourself years ago. This gives you the credentials you need to tackle this topic with your daughter. Talk to her about what teenage boys are like and what their top goal (generally) is on a date. Yes, your daughter will probably find this conversation a little uncomfortable, and so will you, but it is a necessary conversation for fathers to have with their daughters.
  4. Boost Her Self-Confidence. Also make sure that you build your daughter up during this conversation. Tell her how special she is and that she deserves nothing but the best and that she should expect nothing but the best quality guys. Girls who have a healthy level of self-confidence generally stay away from “bad” guys and unhealthy relationships. But, this self-confidence comes from home!
  5. Discuss Intuition. When you’re talking to your daughter about how valuable she is, also talk about how smart she is. Most adults, both men and women, admit that women have a type of sixth sense which can only be described as a “gut feeling.” Talk to your daughter about this and tell her that when it comes to dating and certain situations, she needs to listen to her intuition (gut feeling). If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.

Although your daughter will probably make you feel silly for having this tough conversation with her, the truth is that daughters listen to what their dads tell them, especially about boys and dating. So, take the time to show your daughter what a proper date is and talk to her about the intricacies of dating. It will have an impact.

Here are more resources for you on the subject of parenting teens:

Teen Dating Mistakes Parents Make, Part 2

By: Mary Lutz Category: Parenting A Teen, Teen Dating & Sex

You’ve already read about three common mistakes parents make when their teens reach the “dating” age, which are: speaking negatively about the opposite sex, trying to play it cool and constantly asking what their dating “status” is. However, these aren’t the only mistakes that parents can make when teens begin to date. There are several more.

The “Times are Different” Approach. Since teen dating is a sensitive topic for most parents, we don’t always know how to approach the subject and, as a result, many parents start off by saying something like, “I know that times are much different now than they were when I was your age, but…” Don’t do this! You’ve already disqualified yourself from giving advice about the subject before you’ve begun when you do this. If you want your teens to listen to what you have to say and believe that you know what you’re talking about, you need to find a way to relate to them. Don’t talk about all the things that have changed throughout the years. Instead, focus on the issues they face now that you also faced when you were their age.

Getting Too Protective. This one is generally the one that fathers who have daughters violate. More than likely we’ve all known someone who received the “if they touch you, I’ll kill them” speech before. Who knows, maybe you had a father who told you that when you were young. While fathers are just trying to let their daughters know that they love them and want to protect them, this tactic often just closes the door of communication. The last thing a girl wants to do is get her dad to go after a guy who treated her badly…even if there was sexual abuse involved.  To ensure your teen feels comfortable coming to you if something bad happens, don’t get too protective. Simply telling your daughter that she can always come to you, no matter what happened, will suffice.

Believing Group Dates are Safer. This is a very common belief held among parents today. After all, nothing is going to happen if your teen is out on a date with a group of friends, you only have to worry about what happens when they’re alone, right? Wrong! Just think about when you were a teen and went out with someone you liked with a group of friends. If your friends knew you two liked each other, the teasing and pressuring started. Sure, it’s all in fun (usually), but with teenagers things can get out of control. Therefore, don’t make the mistake of being comfortable with a date just because your teen is going out with a group.

Giving the “Sex is Bad” Speech. Although you don’t want you teens to go out and have sex, it’s not going to do any good to talk to them about how bad sex is. All this will do is distort their view about sex. As adults, we know that sex is not bad. In fact, when it happens with the right person, at the right time and under the right circumstances it can be wonderful. Therefore, don’t lie to your teens about it.

Instead, tell your teens how great sex can be when it’s with the right person and at the right time. Talk to your teens about how special sex is and why it’s important to wait for the right person to come along. You should want your teens to have a healthy view about sex so that they can identify when it’s wrong…which will also help them identify unhealthy relationships, as well.

For more information on the topic of parenting teens, check out these resources: