Parenting My Teen

As a responsible parent, you naturally want to teach your child honesty. Nobody has a child with the aspiration of raising a devious child who deceives everyone he/she comes in contact with. However, while you embrace honest parenting, teaching children what it means to be honest can be quite difficult. Below are a few tips to help you in this area.

1.      Be Honest –   When using honest parenting, actions speak much louder than words for both young and older children. It’s going to be impossible for parents to teach their kids the importance of honesty if they aren’t honest in their daily dealings. Adults are being watched much more closely by their kids than what they think. While your 5 year old may not say anything when you tell the restaurant cashier he’s 4 (to get the free buffet), that doesn’t mean the lie didn’t go unnoticed. This is especially true if you have teenagers – they notice much more! Therefore, if you want your kids to grow up being honest, you need to be honest yourself.

2.      Talk About Feelings –Many times children feel like their feelings don’t matter and keep them all bottled up (especially teenagers), which can result in a lot of negative behavior – including lying. Therefore, make it a point to talk to your kids about their feelings and tell them that it’s okay for them to feel a certain way, but it’s not okay to act badly because of those feelings nor is it okay to tell a lie because they feel a certain way.

3.      Acknowledge Mistakes –Parents aren’t perfect, but sometimes parents try to portray themselves as perfect to their children. This in itself is a lie. If you want to teach your kids what it means to be honest, then you have to be honest with them when you make a mistake. Honest parenting is all about being up front.  If a mistake is made by you and was witnessed by your children, then it’s important to go to them and explain that you made a mistake and then apologize for it. Not only will this teach your children more about honesty, it will also build their respect towards you and make them less fearful of admitting mistakes to you when they make them.

The three tips above appear to be pretty simple, right? Well, the truth is that they are much harder to do than they look. There isn’t a parent out there who wants their children to see them “fail” nor do many parents like to talk about their feelings to their children. And, it’s always tempting to tell a white lie in order to save a little money, but if parents aren’t transparent with their kids and openly honest about things, how can their children be expected to grow up honest?

Therefore, although it may be hard, try to incorporate the three tips above into your daily life in order to use the honest parenting model. You’ll be surprised at the effect these changes will have on your kids, no matter their age!

When people are young, it’s easy to see the mistakes parents make with their kids, but when these onlookers become parents themselves, they discover how easy it is to make the same mistakes they once criticized others for. If your goal is to raise your child to be a responsible adult who is valued in his community, then read through the list below of honest parenting mistakes commonly made by parents. Educating yourself about these mistakes will help you to avoid making them when the situation arises.

Mistake #1 – Lying – Obviously, honest parenting does not promote lying to your children to get them to do what you want. So, why do so many parents resort to it? Often times, it’s easy to lie to children to get them to quit arguing or fighting. For instance, if your kindergartener throws a fit saying she doesn’t want to go to school, it may be tempting to tell her that she’ll go to jail (or something else that scares her) if she doesn’t go to school. While this may get her to quit throwing a fit, one day she’ll catch you in a lie. And, if your teen catches you in a lie, respect will be lost…not something you want to happen. Therefore, just be honest with your kids no matter what he situation is…even if it means suffering a tantrum.

Mistake #2 – No Follow-Through – Correcting your children definitely isn’t the highlight of your day. The truth is nobody likes to be the “mean” parent who is always getting on to their children. However, in order to raise good children who respect authority, it’s important for parents to discipline kids when they disobey. The mistake a lot of parents make is that they make threats like, “If you do that again, we’re going to leave,” but don’t follow through with consequence when the child repeats the offense.

When parents don’t follow through with their initial threat, it tells children that they can continue doing what they want because you aren’t really going to do anything. This is a foolproof way to get your kids NOT to listen to you. Therefore, you’ve got to make believers out of them when they are young to avoid major issues when they become teens. If you’ve got a teen, following through with punishments is crucial – and it’s never too late to start.

Mistake #3 – Bribing All the Time – If you have been a parent for very long, more than likely, you have bribed one of your children to get a desired result. While bribery can be a very effective method used to get a child to do something (such as eat, mind, etc.), when overused it can have a negative impact. For example, let’s say your 3-year old daughter refuses to eat her macaroni and cheese. In order to motivate her, you say, “if you eat your macaroni and cheese you can have ice-cream.” It works and the macaroni and cheese quickly disappears.

The problem occurs the next time the toddler refuses to eat and you offer a treat if she finishes it. One of two things will occur when bribery is resorted to on a consistent basis. Either the bribes will lose their appeal and have no effect or your child will learn that if he just holds out a bit longer, mom and dad will sweeten the deal with a bribe.  If bribery is consistently used, it’s hard to get away from it. You’d be surprised how many teens are bribed by their parents. If you are one of these parents who bribes your teen…stop.

The SAT that our teens take today isn’t like the one we took years ago.

Did you know that a few years ago, the SAT became a longer, more challenging, and a lot different? The SAT is now 3 hours and 45 minutes long. What was known as the Verbal Section has been renamed Critical Reading and the Analogies questions have been eliminated and replaced with Short Reading Passages.

An SAT Writing Section has been added, which contains multiple-choice grammar questions and a 25-minute written essay. Finally, the Math Section has been expanded to include three years of high school math — in other words, it now includes harder questions in the area of algebra II.

For your teen, taking the SAT is a huge, life molding event. It marks the beginning of a countdown to your child’s high school graduation and has us, parents, thinking seriously sending our teens off to college.

Helping our teens prepare for the SAT is crucial! It is important to not leave this preparation solely in the hands of your child’s school. It is important to arm your child with other materials that help them gain the test taking skills that will propel them to higher SAT test scores.

Here is a very popular and proven guide to help your teen obtain a higher SAT Scores. The book is filled with exercises, drills, and full-length sample exams that create a true-to-life testing experience: http://parentingmyteen.com/SAT-Preparation.HTML
Here’s to helping your teen do his/her very best!

A lot of adults and parents become incredibly strict when they begin to catch a drift of defiance in teens. Many parents and guardians are totally baffled with how to handle an out of control teenager. While it’s true that most parents don’t want their child to become an out of control teen, this is exactly what can happen if you are too strict on them. In fact, you may already have a teen in your home that you feel is out-of-control. Below you will find three unconventional tips on how to handle an out of control teenager.

1. Tolerance: The last thing any parent or person in authority wants to do is tolerate the out-of-control behavior. However, some teens react much better, and even stop the undesirable behavior, when adults show a little tolerance. I’m not suggesting you just let your teen do whatever she wants, but I’m suggesting that you don’t blow up over every little thing. When it comes to learning how to handle an out of control teenager, it is imporant to daw a line between what is out of control behavior and what behaviors are not out of control.

You really need to consider your situation before you try implementing this tip. Take a look at the teen and try to look at things from her point of view. You may find that your teen is just trying to exercise a little independence. If this is the case, then find areas where you can show tolerance for your teen. For example, if your teen is in band and you require that she practices 30 minutes every day and you want it done right when she gets home, but she fights with you every day about it, and possibly leaves the house as a result, consider letting her make the decision when to practice…as long as it gets done before she goes to bed.

2. Ignore It: Many teens do things just to irritate their parents. In most cases, we’re talking about leaving laundry on the floor or speaking a particular way, but with out-of-control teens we’re usually talking about things like staying out past curfew or leaving the house without telling you where he’s going. If the behavior doesn’t involve anything that is either emotionally or physically harmful such as drugs or alcohol – then try ignoring it.

Sometimes when teens realize they aren’t going to get the reaction they are looking for from you any longer, they will stop the behavior altogether. Part of learning how to handle an out of control teenager is simply trying discern whether your teen is just trying to “push your buttons” or not. If so, try ignoring it and see what happens, you might be surprised!

3. Listen: One of the big mistakes parents of teenagers make is not listening. Many parents see things their teens are doing that they don’t agree with and they begin to lecture them about it…over and over again. This can contribute to your teen becoming an out-of-control teen. Therefore, try listening to your teenager.

Teens want to be viewed as adults and often times they act out, become disruptive and even out-of-control when they don’t feel this way. When you take the time to listen to your teen regarding their views, opinions and reasoning before you lecture, you may find your teen starts “coming around.” It’s okay to disagree with your teen – especially if they’re wrong, but at least ask for their reasoning and then, in a calm and non-judgmental way, explain why you feel the way you do.

For more tips on dealing with and learning how to handle an out of control teenager, visit My Out Of Control Teen:  A online parent-program for those who are struggling with their out-of-control teenagers. learn cut-to-the-chase parenting strategies that work immediately rather than months or years down the road.

Also check out No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager – Learn how to feel like a good parent even when your teenager hates you. Also learn how get your disrespectful Teenager to LISTEN to what you say & RESPECT you as their parent while getting peace back in your home. Risk Free for 60 Days! No Obligation!”

Many teens go through high-school with the attitude that what happens in high-school won’t have an impact on their future. However, these teens are in for a big surprise when “the future” arrives. As adults, we understand where our teenagers are coming from because we’ve been there before, but we also have the advantage of hindsight. We see how the things that we did and didn’t do in high-school have impacted our lives. Because we have this knowledge, it’s our responsibility to help our teenagers make smart decisions while they are in high-school.

Obviously, we can’t make our teens see how their actions now can affect them for the rest of their lives, but we can help guide them to make good decisions. One of the ways we can do this is by helping them to set goals for their lives. Setting goals is an important life skill that preferably needs to be taught when our children are still young. However, if your child is a teenager, it’s not too late – in fact, it’s the perfect time!

You may not think that setting goals is that important until one is in college and working towards a career, but this isn’t true. Goal setting is an important aspect that will help our teens learn how to achieve anything they want to during their lives…not just a career. This is why setting goals is a skill that needs to be worked on long before the college years. We all know that the best way to become good at something is by practice – and setting goals is no exception.

If you can teach your teen how to set goals that are achievable in a short amount of time, then you will be able to teach him or her how to set long term goals as well. However, it’s important that you help your teen establish short term goals before you jump to the long term goals. For example, if your teen wants to make the varsity basketball team, but doesn’t have the qualifying grades, then the first short term goal should be to get those grades up. You will need to teach your teen how to achieve this goal by asking him or her to come up with things can be done to get the grades up. Some acceptable solutions would include talking to the instructor about extra credit or finding a tutor.

The reason setting goals is so important for teens to do is because it helps them realize that they can achieve anything they want to if they are willing to work for it. These achievements can be anything from making the varsity basketball team, getting an “A” on a term paper, getting accepted to their college of choice, starting their dream career and so much more. Having goals will not only allow your teen to dream, but it will also give them the motivation they need to reach those dreams.

For more information and help with parenting your teen, click here.