Parenting My Teen

Six Resolution Strategies That Will Change Your Life

(ARA) – Want to lose weight, spend more time with your family, or get a better job in 2009? These are just a few common New Year’s resolutions that many of us make in January and too often forget by mid-March. This year, if you want to keep your resolutions and truly change your life for the better, follow some expert strategies for success.

“The New Year is a great time to self-evaluate and take steps toward your goals. But in order to set those goals and stay focused, many of us need to shift our way of thinking. With the right strategies, you can make permanent changes to your life,” says John G. Miller, an expert who has spent over 20 years studying personal accountability, and author of the books “QBQ! The Question Behind the Question” and “Flipping the Switch.”

Here are some of Miller’s tips for making your New Year’s resolutions stick:

1. Don’t underestimate the power of personal accountability.

If you can shift the way you think away from blame, procrastination and victim thinking, and focus instead on personal choices and responsibility, you can better position yourself for change in your life. Busyness is one of the top excuses people use when they don’t keep their resolutions. Stop blaming your calendar by saying, “I’m too busy to visit my parents,” or, “My schedule is too hectic to eat healthy.” Adopt the “no excuses” way of living. Remember — everything is a choice. It’s up to the individual to choose what priorities to make room for in life.

2. Write it down and set a deadline.

Write your goals down and consider tracking your progress in a journal. Set a deadline for when you plan to complete your goal. Do you want to lose 15 pounds in 90 days? Organize your entire house in the next six months? A deadline creates energy; without one your goal is just something you hope to do at some point, someday. Once you’ve reached your deadline, you can look back and measure your progress. If you’ve met the deadline successfully, you’ll feel great! If you haven’t yet reached your goal, you can revamp your plan, set a new deadline, and forge ahead.

3. Reach out for support.

Miller says, “Though we can’t change others and they cannot change us, it’s helpful for a close friend to know the path I’m on. If they are aware of my goal, they can support me by asking about my progress, and by not offering chocolate cake if I’m trying to lose weight.” Tell a close friend or family member and encourage them to share their goals with you too. If you’re comfortable, you might also consider joining a support group with others who are working toward similar goals.

4. Bite size goals are best.

Instead of saying, “I want to be a more organized person,” create a goal that is more specific. Set a goal like, “I will keep my car clean instead of it looking like a landfill on wheels.” You might want to lose 15 pounds but you can’t do it all at once. Try a goal like, “I will lose two pounds per month.” For a better chance at success, set your goals for the long term, but measure in the short term. Bite size pieces are easier to chew.

5. Be aware of your feelings.

Tough goals are not achieved easily. Expect a roller coaster of ups and downs and be able to recognize your emotions. When negative emotions arise, refocus your thinking. Miller suggests asking an effective question called a QBQ, or the Question Behind the Question. “Instead of asking, ‘Why does this have to be so hard?’, instead ask ‘What can I do right now to change my thinking?’ When we change our thoughts, we take control of our feelings, which leads to better actions and habits, and ultimately, success.”

6. Focus on the benefits of the change.

When you start to drift from your goal, remind yourself why you have the goal in the first place. Are you losing weight so you have more energy? Are you organizing your house or exercising more so you have less stress? You have this goal for a reason. Especially during the bumps in the road, remind yourself why you have it and the positive outcome you’ll enjoy once it’s achieved.

To learn more about QBQ! and to order both of John Miller’s books, visit www.QBQ.com.

New Year’s resolutions are made every year by millions of people.  Unfortunately, many if not most of them are never completed.  If you plan to make a resolution, you may want to set a New Year goal that is not beyond your reach.

Your ultimate New Year’s resolution may be to learn a new language or how to dance all forms of ballroom dance.  However, an unreasonable goal is to assume you could do either of those in a short period of time.  Some goals are possible within a month, such as losing five pounds, but learning how to speak fluent Chinese in that amount of time absolutely is not.

It is important for us to plan for the future so we’re not aimlessly wandering through life.  Sometimes setting long-range goals can be overwhelming because they’re so far out in the future that we doubt if we’ll ever meet them.  If there aren’t intermediate goals along the way to your ultimate goal, it will be too easy for you to lose focus and give up.

Instead of having just the one, long-range goal, consider having small goals that you can work on – even on a daily basis.  This will help you by allowing you to feel a sense of accomplishment when you meet one of the smaller goals, as well as letting you know you’re on the right track to reach your goal.

How do you break down one big goal into several smaller goals?  That all depends upon what your goal is.  You can choose best what you need to do each day to help keep you on track.  Don’t let your gaze go too far down the trail that you have laid out for yourself.  If you don’t stay focused on the day at hand, you might miss something wonderful along the way.

Remember that reaching a goal is much like going on a journey.  If you’re too focused on the destination, you’ll miss the beauty along the way.  You can stop along the way and smell the roses rather than speeding along the path you’re on and missing them entirely.  By setting smaller goals that you can reach, you’ll be moving toward your goal and be much more likely to actually reach it.

Don’t give up if things don’t work out exactly like you’ve planned.  Things in life happen that may keep you from reaching a small goal in the time you had hoped.  When things settle back down you can pick up where you left off.  It may take longer to reach your goal than you wanted, but that’s no reason to give up.

Give yourself a reward when you’ve reached a smaller goal, rather than waiting to complete the large goal.  Knowing you’ll have a small reward when you have met a goal may be the impetus you need to keep going when you feel discouraged.

When you have a goal in mind, consider the steps you can take.  Set New Year’s goals that are not beyond your reach.  Reward yourself when you’ve reached a small goal and then keep going to the next one.

(ARA) – “Mommy, I can’t breathe!” These are words no parent wants to hear. But parents of children with asthma know all too well the panic both they and their children experience during an acute asthma attack. People who don’t have personal experience with asthma tend to underestimate the seriousness of the condition. According to the American Lung Association, asthma is the most common chronic illness in children in the United States, affecting more than 6 million kids under the age of 18. In addition, asthma in children is the cause of almost 3 million physician visits and 200,000 hospitalizations each year — asthma is a serious medical condition — asthma can and does kill!

In an asthma attack, the child’s airways clamp down in response to environmental triggers that include cold air, viruses, smoke, exercise, dust mites and the dander of furry pets. “The lining of the air passages become inflamed and swollen and increased mucus production blocks the passage of air into the lungs,” said Karen Warman, MD, director of the Children’s Asthma Program at The Children’s Hospital at Montefiore in New York City. “To get an idea of what an asthma attack feels like, picture sucking a full breath of air through a tiny straw — as hard as you try, you just can’t get enough air to fill your lungs.”

If you think your child may have asthma, speak to your physician. Keep a watch for symptoms that include:

* Persistent nighttime coughing

* Shortness of breath and/or coughing when running and playing

* Coughing when around animals, dust and cigarette smoke

“While asthma can’t be cured and children don’t outgrow it, it can be treated and controlled so that a child can participate in normal childhood activities,” said Dr. Warman during an appearance on the Emmy-nominated public television show “Keeping Kids Healthy.”

There are two types of asthma — mild and persistent. Mild asthma affects a child only when he or she has a cold or encounters something that triggers it. Persistent asthma is an ongoing irritation of the lungs that requires daily medication. Asthma medication helps keep the lungs and airways relaxed, prevents them from clamping down and hopefully stops an attack from occurring. A second type of medication, called rescue medication, is used during an attack to quickly open airways.

Families of children with persistent asthma also need to take steps to deal with the child’s environment. “You need to eliminate the things that are triggering the attacks,” said Dr. Warman. “Get rid of dust, pet dander, cigarette smoke and other irritants in your home. Your doctor may suggest having your child examined by a pulmonologist to treat the asthma or an allergy specialist to find out exactly what is aggravating the asthma.”

Another important tool in dealing with childhood asthma is called an “asthma action plan.” This is a written management plan that includes detailed information about your child’s condition, specific triggers and medication, as well as what to do in case of an asthma attack. An asthma action plan form is available on the Keeping Kids Healthy Web site — www.keepingkidshealthy.org. “The asthma action plan is a family’s guide to dealing with asthma,” said Dr. Warman. “Parents should make sure they discuss this plan with their child’s doctor and that they understand it so they can help educate their child and others about the disease.”

“The plan also is a handy reminder regarding daily medications,” said Dr. Warman. “It should be shared with everyone who needs to know how to deal with the child’s asthma, including babysitters, teachers, coaches, family members and even the parents of the child’s friends.”

When your child has an asthma attack, the first thing to remember is to stay calm, because this will help your child stay calm. Refer to your action plan, which will have information on which rescue medications to administer during an asthma attack. Don’t rely on your memory — even though you may know your child’s medication plan, in the heat of an attack you may not remember all the details. If the rescue medications do not work, call 911 and get your child to the emergency room for treatment.

Dealing with childhood asthma may seem daunting, but the more you can learn, the easier it will be. Work with your child’s doctor and other health care professionals to get as much information as possible so both you and your child understand what triggers an asthma attack and are confident that you know what to do in an emergency.

Produced by Montefiore Medical Center in association with Thirteen/WNET New York, “Keeping Kids Healthy” is a groundbreaking weekly children’s health television show that examines real-life issues that kids, teens and parents face. This Parents’ Choice Foundation Award-winning show brings parents and children who are living with a particular medical issue every day, together with nationally recognized medical experts who offer practical advice and tips. Check with your local public television station for airdates and times or visit www.keepingkidshealthy.org.

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Busy family lifestyles lead to stressed out families. Stressed out families can often lead to more problems and issues. Learning to deal with family stress before the stress becomes a huge problem is a good idea. If you already have problems, then learning to deal with the issues that are causing you stress is essential in helping you to overcome these difficulties.

One of the largest contributors to stress is over commitment. Families are pulled in multiple directions by varying activities. The more children there are the more activities there are, the more refined the balancing act becomes.

Think about the list of activities that you and your children are involved in. Why are they involved in each activity? Is it because they have a passion for it or is it because they needed to have a more rounded activity schedule? Let your child choose a few activities that they feel drawn to. Let them explore their passions, but don’t sign them up for every activity there is. Teach them to pick and choose their priorities when choosing activities. Doing one thing and doing it well is different from doing several things that there isn’t a passion for.

The same that applies for your children and their activities should apply to yours as well. Learn to say no. If you are already committed to several activities and are stressed for time, do you really need to participate in one more activity? Learning to say no and to weed through the activities you already do will help cut down on your stress.

A less stressed parent makes a less stressed child. Our moods and behaviors are often reflected in our children. Leading by example is a wonderful motto to live by. Our children see how we deal with stress and emulate it. Wading
through our activities and learning to say no are only two activities. Another one would be to learn to slow down and enjoy family time.

When is the last time you had a sit down meal with everyone gathered around the table? A meal where there was no rush to get somewhere or to go and pick someone up. Having a meal together is a family bonding time. It is an excellent opportunity for children and parents to be together. They can discuss what is on their minds, what goals they have or even what is bothering them, to cause stress. Just this simple act of sitting down and sharing a meal can lower stress in a family.

Have a family movie or game night. These are activities that everyone can enjoy together. Have the children and parents take turns picking out movies or games to play. There may be old family favorites or you may find new ones
that become your family’s games.

Whatever you choose, do it together. The more a family shares, at meals, movies or over games, the closer they become. A closer a family is the more they are inclined to talk and discuss things. This is a great combat against family stress.

Reduce your family’s stress with Real Life Solutions from Aurelia Williams.

If you want to really decorate your home for Halloween, there are so many Halloween crafts for adults that you can make that do not take a lot of skill or even expertise.  The best part about Halloween crafts for adults is that you can be instantly transported back to your school days when you would make art projects for Halloween – only you are no longer eight years old!  Seriously, though – making Halloween crafts for adults is really just like making Halloween crafts as a kid.  However, you can make your crafts a little neater now that your hands are larger and your dexterity more honed!

Many people love to decorate their yards with Halloween decorations.  These types of Halloween crafts for adults are especially suited for grown ups who remain young at heart!  Start your ghoulish yard by cutting out some “tombstones” from simple plywood.  They don’t have to be elaborate – just half spheres.  Place nails in the bottom of each stone so that you can easily place them in your yard.  Paint them black and then put scary phrases on them commemorating the “dead”.

A friend of mine did this with her yard.  Each tombstone contained a funny version of each family member’s name.  For example, Deena became “DIEana”.  You get the idea.  Then she would put a clever saying on each stone like “Although she’s gone, she’s not forgot, only because she died on the pot”.  It’s all about creativity when it comes to decorating your yard for Halloween, so have fun with it.

More Halloween crafts for adults can be found online when you do a search.  Of course, the possibilities are limitless when you use your imagination and think of what you would enjoy seeing in other people’s homes and yards.  I’ve known some people who have even gone so far as to construct a coffin that they put in their yard!  Now that’s Halloween, if you ask me!

When it comes to Halloween crafts for adults, you will find that many of them can actually also be made by children.  If you are working with power tools, obviously, you’ll want to keep them from the children, but they can certainly help with painting and decorating.

Again, we say, use your imagination and creativity when putting together Halloween crafts for adults.  But, by all means, let the kids participate as well.  There is nothing better than having a family activity to bring everyone closer!