Do you have certain memories from your childhood? Some great and others may be not so great, right? Most of us do. I bet most of the really great memories are centered around a Holiday, special event or birthday. I would also bet a lot of the memories you retain stem from certain traditions your family observed. Have you carried those traditions on into your home and family? If you have, that is awesome. But why are traditions so important for families to have and to carry on through the generations, especially Holiday traditions?

As mentioned in the first paragraph, many of our memories probably stem from a tradition our family held every year or on occasion. There were probably certain events, activities and food that the tradition evolved around. In my family, for example, it is tradition to play a gift giving game every Christmas Eve with my side of the family. My mom, brother and his family and my husband and I get together each year for this game. This tradition was started by my now ex-husband’s family when my children were growing up so it’s important to them and they have many wonderful memories from it. We’re keeping those memories alive not only for my children, but we’re passing them down to my grandchildren as well.

Another tradition you might have around the Holidays is the decorating of the Christmas tree. Some families make it a tradition to get the whole family together every year to decorate the tree, make crafts and ornaments and even baked goods. My daughters and I have a baking day each year and we spend the whole day baking cookies and other Christmas treats to give as gifts and to serve at Christmas dinner.

These traditions are not only important for creating and preserving childhood memories, they are also important because they create a unique setting for some great quality time with family that you may not normally get.

Another reason Holiday traditions are so important for families is because they represent stability and continuity for families. Traditions are something you can count on and often look forward to. Our children and teens come to rely upon and understand this type of stability in the family setting.

If you don’t have any traditions started with your family, it’s not too late to start them now, no matter what age your children are. You can even announce, “This year we’re starting a new tradition!” Your children love it and most likely pass it on to their children for years to come.

The decision to get a divorce is usually an agonizing one. But the thought of telling our children about it can be absolutely terrifying. It’s disheartening to have to be the bearer of such devastating news, and it’s impossible to predict how they will react.

Talking to children about divorce is never easy. But there are some things you can do to make it less stressful for everyone involved. Here are some tips.

1. Talk to your children as soon as possible after you’ve come to a decision. Postponing the talk will just give you more time to dread it, and you may lose the trust of your kids. Make sure that you intend to go through with it, try to make some preliminary living arrangements, and break the news as soon as possible afterward.

2. If possible, both spouses should be present when telling children about divorce. Otherwise, they might feel as though the decision was one-sided or that the absent parent doesn’t care about them. This will also help them understand that you will still be parenting as a team.

3. Choose a time that will not interfere with your children’s normal activities, and a place that is familiar and comfortable. This shows respect for the things that are important to them and ensures that they will feel comfortable asking questions.

4. Tell all of your children at the same time. If you don’t, there will almost certainly be feelings of resentment. Even if they are not close in age, they deserve to hear about it at the same time. You can talk to them separately in more age-appropriate terms later.

5. Younger children are unlikely to understand what divorce means. Explain it in the simplest terms possible. Explain that you and your spouse will no longer be living together, that they will see both of you, and that both parents love them and always will.

6. Avoid arguing with the other parent or laying blame. This is a time to inform your kids about what’s going on, not to decide who’s right and who’s wrong.

7. Do your best to avoid expressing anger or bitterness, but feel free to express sadness. Doing so lets children know that it’s okay for them to be sad.

8. Make it a point to tell your children that it’s not their fault. Young children are especially prone to thinking that they are somehow to blame for divorce, even if they don’t vocalize it. It’s very important to reassure them that it has nothing to do with them.

9. Fill them in on everything that has been decided so far. They need to know where they will be staying, if a parent is moving out, and that their basic needs will be met. Do your best to address these concerns as fully as possible.

10. Encourage your children to ask questions, and answer them truthfully. You don’t have to tell them all of the details about why you are separating, but it is critically important to maintain their trust.

Honest Parenting is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.

As a mother of 4 kids who have been through the divorce of their parents, I know how difficult it can on the children when they have to go back and forth from one parent’s house to the other. I also know how difficult it is when the divorced parents aren’t on the same page when it comes to rules and other issues such as beliefs and lifestyles.

Divorce can be traumatic, not only for the separating partners, but also for their children. Kids who are caught in the middle experience a deluge of emotions, including sadness, anger and confusion. How the parents handle the divorce, however, can make it more or less difficult for them.

A frequent point of contention between divorcing parents is the set of rules that their children are expected to follow. Usually, while married, parents come up with a set of rules to which they can both agree. But in the event of separation, each parent may prefer to change the rules a bit for when the children are with them.

Overall, this is a bad idea. While it is ultimately up to the parent to enforce rules, having two different sets of rules is generally bad for the children. Here are a few reasons why this is so:

* Having to adjust to a different set of rules each time a child visits the other parent is difficult. They might get confused about which rules apply where, and that could get them in trouble.

* Children may resent the parent who enforces more restrictive rules. These rules might be in the child’s best interest, but he still feels that he’s being treated unfairly because they do not apply when he is with the other parent. This often leads to conflict between parent and child.

* A difference in rules can cause added conflict between the parents. Not only does this produce more stress in the adults, it also hurts the children. Even though the parents are separated, seeing them fight is not good for the children.

* Children need a sense of stability. This stability is lessened when their parents divorce. But being subject to the same rules at both households gives them some semblance of security.

Agreeing on the Rules

When you come to the decision to get a divorce, the first thing that’s usually discussed is who will get the children and how visitation will work. It’s also important to discuss the continuation of rules early on. Parents often assume that the other parent will keep the same rules, but that doesn’t always happen. This is especially true in households where the rules are flexible or not well defined.

For best results, rules should remain the same as when the parents were together. But children who are experiencing a state of transition may need to have their rules revised. For example, a teen who is ready to start dating will need rules that weren’t necessary before. In such circumstances, the parents need to discuss the prospective new rules ahead of time and do their best to come to an agreement on them.

Having the same rules at both homes makes things easier for parents and children. It makes for less conflict and greater uniformity. While a divorce is not by nature a pleasant experience, maintaining a consistent set of rules can make it less unpleasant.

Additional Resources

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Depending upon the age of your teens, they may be involved in a myriad of activities. You know the importance of striking a fair balance between allowing children to be involved in activities and having time for the family to spend together. Unfortunately, the children may not agree with your definition of “fair.”

Perhaps your older teens are interested in a number of activities. They may want to be involved in baseball, football, soccer, martial arts, gymnastics, softball, basketball, or ice skating. Then there’s band, dance, musical instrument lessons, or voice lessons they’re interested in. Throw in scouting or volunteering and the number of possible ways to be away from home increases even more.

It’s important to make sure kids aren’t involved in too many activities. Children, like adults, only have 24 hours in each day. They have to attend school and sleep at least eight hours a night. This leaves eight hours for eating, doing chores, doing homework, spending time with family, and then extracurricular activities.

You can choose to limit each child to one extracurricular activity per season. If your teen is athletic you might allow them to play two sports each school year as long as they don’t coincide with one another. Do you have a music lover? Allow them to play in the band, but you could ask them to wait until summer to take individual lessons.

How do you maintain balance among the different family members? While you may not favor one child over the other, it may seem that way to your children. Try to spend quality time alone with each child at some point during the month. In fact, you may want to plan a special “date” with each child. This will enable them to have undivided time with you or your partner and squelch any complaints about you not spending time with them.

You’ll also want to be sure you to spend quality time with your partner so they don’t feel left out. Planning a weekly or bi-weekly date night is important for maintaining your relationship. Instead of spending your time talking about the children, take the opportunity to dream about your future.

While you’re spending time with others in the family, don’t forget to take care of yourself. You can’t be expected to be able to meet others’ needs if you’re overly stressed or burned out. A trip to a day spa which will pamper you may be just what you need to rejuvenate.

So, you’ve limited the number of activities each person in the family is allowed to participate in. You are also spending time with each child to ensure they feel loved. Now it’s time to keep all of the activities from cutting into the family’s free time, but what can you do to accomplish this? One thing you might consider is actually scheduling activities for the entire family to do together.

Talk about activities that everyone in the family would enjoy. This could be anything from visiting a museum, going fishing, or watching the latest movie. If your children range in age, you may find it difficult to find activities everyone will enjoy. In this case, switch up the types of activities you choose so everyone has at least one or two activities they enjoy.

Keeping your family running smoothly isn’t easy when each person is running in and out of the house to different activities. You know the importance of striking a fair balance between outside activities and family time – using some of these ideas may help create the balance you seek.

Click here to learn What You Can Do To Easily Turn Things Around And Start Developing A More Connected, Down-To-Earth, Win-Win Relationship With Your Teen And Virtually Guarantee Their Future Success

Graduation gifts today encompass many new and innovative ideas. Unlike when we graduated, wherein a party at home or dinner out was all our parents could afford, today there are a multitude of ideas utilized for the graduate. Here are some great high school graduation gift ideas for you to ponder.

If your child is going off to college and boarding there, he or she will most likely need as much encouragement as possible. They may become homesick the first few weeks, and it would be a great idea to give them a scrapbook with pictures of the family, letters of encouragement, and mementos that have great significance.

Another gift idea, which is more of a necessity these days, is a laptop computer. In this way, they can complete their research and homework assignments, keep in touch with family and friends, and feel connected when so far away.

In addition, having a laptop computer will afford them the opportunity to view pictures of family and friends on different occasions. To this end, why not put together a slideshow of your son or daughter and include it along with the laptop. It can be pictures of his or her childhood or teen years, pictures of friends and family, or special events you’ve captured for just this purpose. In this way, whenever they feel homesick or want to view familiar faces, they can simply play the slide show on their laptop. You can even include some goofy moments captured on film as well.

Other gift ideas include a TV with DVD for their dorm room, a small refrigerator, and other assorted but necessary items they will need to make them feel more comfortable.
You may want to give them a collage of pictures that they may have accumulated throughout the years. Whatever you can think of to give them a little bit of home to take with them would make a great high school graduation gift idea.