Think back and remember how your son was when he was a little boy.  Sticky kisses and muddy hands were to be expected. Now maybe your teenage son barely talks with you.  You may feel you need help raising a teenage son in today’s world.

Even though your child used to look up to you, which is expected, now they look to their friends for support and a sense of importance.  No matter how distant they may be, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open with your teenage son.  You also want to set boundaries and have expectations of them while they’re still in your home.

It’s quite likely that you’ll butt heads over everything with your teenage son.  Your son is growing up, and hopefully maturing along the way.  He has to try to exert his independence as he finds his way in the world.  It’s something every teenage son does, and has done throughout history, as he tries to become a man.

The most important thing to remember is that you don’t want to alienate your teenage son while he’s learning about himself and his place in the world.  Learn to trust your parenting skills and to trust your son’s decision-making skills.  While he’s living in your home, however, you’ll want to keep curfews and house rules intact; continue to expect him to follow those rules.

Expect your teenager to change as he grows and matures.  Learn to adjust to those changes as much as possible.  He is growing in many ways – emotionally, physically, and mentally.  Begin to gradually let go as he pushes against the barriers you have placed around him to keep him safe.  Loosen your grip on him by allowing him to stay out later during the weekend but continue to expect him to do his schoolwork and do it well.

Stay involved in his life as much as possible.  He’ll try to push you aside and he’ll rebel, which is also to be expected, but you need to remain firm with your expectations of him.  Give him more responsibility and opportunities to prove to you that he is trustworthy.  Praise him for the things he does right and do so in front of his friends, if possible.

Think back to what you thought and felt as a teenager.  Even if you weren’t a boy, you can still remember the things that your parents did that drove you crazy.  Try to put yourself back in that place and then think of how you would have liked your parents to react to you.  Try to be understanding of what your teenager is going through based on that.

Do things together.  Participating with him in things he enjoys may help him open up and let you in.  Take him to a concert by his favorite band – just remember to bring the earplugs.  If he’s involved in sports at school, do everything you can to be at his games.

You may feel like you’re losing your teenage son, but if you tell them that you love them it can make a big difference.  You know raising a teenage son in today’s world isn’t easy, but it isn’t impossible.  More than anything else, they need to know that you love them and that you’ll always be there for them, no matter what.

Teen Got You Frazzled? Click here for real guidance right now.

Raising children seems to get harder each year.  As they grow up they’re faced with peer pressure and may become friends with people we may prefer they aren’t friends with.  With teenage sons it’s bad enough, but raising a teenage daughter in today’s world may seem nearly impossible.

If your daughter hasn’t reached her teens yet, you may want to do everything you can to prepare yourself for it now.  There will be some major changes in the coming years and you need to know what to expect.

Try to think back to when you were your daughter’s age and all of the things you felt and thought at the time.  Remember how you thought your parents were clueless?  It’s quite possible your daughter thinks the same thing about you.  But she also has to face some problems you didn’t have to deal with.

No matter how frustrated you get with your daughter, do your best to keep communication lines open.  Expect there to be conflicts over any number of subjects including boys, clothes, and friends.  Try to listen to her opinions and remember what it was like to be her age.

Take time to meet any boy she dates.  Get to know him, explain your views, and give her specific rules to follow while dating no matter how archaic she may feel they are.  Honestly, she wants limitations because they show her that you love her.

Let her know how you feel about her possibly becoming sexually active.  Tell her that you want to answer her questions rather than her finding out about sex and its consequences the hard way.

You’ll probably also bump heads about what your daughter wears.  Fashion has changed dramatically since you were your daughter’s age.  The media dictates what is fashionable and let’s be honest, quite a bit of it is barely there and looks trashy.  Try to compromise on clothing, but stick to your values as much as possible.  It is possible for your daughter to dress modestly in today’s society, but you may have to spend extra time shopping to find the right clothes.

It’s quite possible that the friends your daughter has have been with her for many years.  They may have met during grade school and grown up together.  If this is the case, you most likely know her friends.  If she’s recently made new friends, it would be a good idea to develop a relationship with them as well.  Invite her friends over so you can learn about them and their values.  Encourage friends you know, and make it a point to get to know new ones.

Raising a teenage daughter in today’s world may be more effort than you’re prepared for.  Reach down inside, remember how you felt as a teen, and keep talking with your daughter.  Try to meet on common ground, your love for each other, and you should be fine.

Teen Got You Frazzled? Click here for real guidance right now.

When your children are small, it’s easy to spend time with them.  You have so much to teach them and they’re like little sponges soaking up all of your love and attention.  Unfortunately, as your children grow up, they become busy and it gets harder to make the time for them.  It’s gets even harder to plan a special day with your teenager once they reach their mid to late teens.

Spending quality time together is important for children, of course, but your teenager needs that time, too.  Your schedules may not make it possible to get together very often, but it is definitely worth it for both of you to make the effort.

If your teen is the same sex, it may be easier to plan a special day to spend with them.  Let’s face it, if you’re a mom and you have a teen daughter, just mentioning shopping can open the door for your day, especially if you’re buying.  Take the time to really talk and listen while you’re walking around the store or mall.  You may find that your teenage daughter is willing to share more when she’s relaxed.

Offer to invite some of your teen’s friends over for an afternoon, but with a prerequisite:  they have to help you plan and prepare for the afternoon.  Maybe your teen’s friends have wanted to watch a particular movie, sporting event, or play a certain computer console game.  Allow your teen to invite a set number of friends.  Have your teen help prepare the food.  Cooking together is a great way to spend quality time with your teen.

Perhaps you have more than one teenager.  Set aside one day each month for one or the other parent to take a teen out on a “date” of sorts.  Plan to take them to eat at their favorite restaurant, within reason, and do something they enjoy.  You may realize that your teen loves a certain activity that you weren’t aware of.

Think of others.  Quite often families and individuals will volunteer their time during the holidays to serve meals at a soup kitchen.  Why not find out if there are volunteer activities you can do all throughout the year.  Volunteering will help your teen learn to think of others who may not have as many benefits as they do.

Is your teenager just learning how to drive?  Why not take the time to let them practice driving while they drive to lunch?  Be sure you’re rested and relaxed before you leave so the planned special day doesn’t turn into a terrible experience.

Your teenager needs to know that they are important to you, probably more than when they were children.  Plan a special day with your teenager and you may be able to keep the lines of communication open with them.  Remember that they need you now more than ever, whether they show it or not.

Yes, it is possible to understand your teen! Click to instantly learn how.

How to make the move home from college headache free

(ARA) – College students from L.A. to Philadelphia and all points in between will soon begin their annual moves back home. In fact, the U.S. Census Bureau estimates there are some 19 million students enrolled at more than 4,300 colleges and universities across the United States. Moving is never an easy task but there are some things you can do to make it a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

The experts at Penske Truck Rental, armed with more than 40 years of experience in helping people move, offer a few tips to help make your move home from college go a bit more smoothly:

* Don’t put it off until the last moment. Springtime and graduation weeks are peak moving times for both students and families living near or around campus. Renting a moving truck will allow you to move all of your things in one easy go, so reserve one before they’re all rented out – at least two weeks in advance of your move. Once you’ve reserved, it’s guaranteed that a truck will be there for you. For most students, a 12- or 16-foot truck is a perfect fit for all they can store in a college residence or small off-campus apartment. If you can, try to move on a weekday – weekends are always the busiest moving days.

* Pack smart. Bring home only what you need. Consider donating any remaining items to charities. Load your heaviest items on the truck first. Boxes, packing tape, bubble wrap, moving blankets and hand trucks are also essential to keeping your belongings safer and making your move easier.

* Think safety. To avoid injury, always bend your knees and lift with your legs. Also, don’t text or talk on your cell phone while driving. While stopped for breaks, park in highly visible, well-lit areas and always lock all doors. If you’re using a moving truck, remember that it is taller, wider and heavier than cars or SUVs. So, drive a bit slower and take extra care when making turns, driving under overhangs or near low tree branches. Penske offers 24/7/365 emergency roadside assistance in case you have a problem.

* Make it fun. Keep a positive attitude during the move – play music, plan a fun dinner for after all the work is done and don’t let frustration get to you. Some moving trucks, like those from Penske have CD players, radios, air conditioning and cell-phone outlet chargers – make sure you’ve got all the things necessary for a comfortable, enjoyable ride.

* Go green. You might be able to save on costs and be kinder to the environment by moving together with someone from your area. Check with your residence life office on campus to help find someone to share the ride. Some truck rental companies participate in the Environmental Protection Agency’s SmartWay program, which is devoted to saving fuel, money and the environment. Penske earned the program’s highest possible rating.

* Keep the essentials with you. With most belongings packed tightly away, create a travel bag for moving day to keep important paperwork, credit cards, identification, change of clothes, drinks and snacks close at hand. More moving tips and even additional discounts through AAA can be found at www.PenskeTruckRental.com.

I’ve been doing a little research lately on the subject of teen drinking and drug addiction because my son, who is 24, is currently in rehab due to his addictions. I came across this article which, though a little old, has some good points in the article as well as in the comments.

One of the points raised by several of the commentors is that providing alcohol to a minor is illegal. Good point and I agree. I don’t believe you should teach your children to break the law just to prove a point. It teaches them that they don’t have to listen to authority or law makers and that rules are meant to be broken.

Another great point about this is, as a parent you don’t know if you’re teen is going to have an addiction problem or not. Chances are if there is any alcoholism or addiction issues anywhere in your family, you and your children are going to have them as well.

My son’s father is an addict though he refuses to admit it. Not only did he drink with my children, specifically my sons, he also smokes marijuana with them and who knows what else. I’m sorry, but what kind of example is that for your children?! All that teaches is that it’s okay to “mask your problems” or “make the pain go away” by being high or drunk. But I digress.

One of the arguments, as pointed out in the article, is that drinking with your kids may help them to not want to go out and party or experiment with alcohol on their own. Really? Does it? I don’t think so, especially if they are prone to addiction as you can see in the example of my ex-husband and my son. And like I mentioned above, you don’t know if your child is going to have addiction issues or not, therefore giving them that first drink may be like feeding poison to them and you don’t even realize it.

So, my stance on the issue is no, I do not think that parents should drink with their kids. What do you think? What personal experiences have you had on this issue?

Looking for help with your teen? Visit My Out Of Control Teen – an online parent-program for those who are struggling with their teenagers.