How to make the move home from college headache free

(ARA) – College students from L.A. to Philadelphia and all points in between will soon begin their annual moves back home. In fact, the U.S. Census Bureau estimates there are some 19 million students enrolled at more than 4,300 colleges and universities across the United States. Moving is never an easy task but there are some things you can do to make it a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

The experts at Penske Truck Rental, armed with more than 40 years of experience in helping people move, offer a few tips to help make your move home from college go a bit more smoothly:

* Don’t put it off until the last moment. Springtime and graduation weeks are peak moving times for both students and families living near or around campus. Renting a moving truck will allow you to move all of your things in one easy go, so reserve one before they’re all rented out – at least two weeks in advance of your move. Once you’ve reserved, it’s guaranteed that a truck will be there for you. For most students, a 12- or 16-foot truck is a perfect fit for all they can store in a college residence or small off-campus apartment. If you can, try to move on a weekday – weekends are always the busiest moving days.

* Pack smart. Bring home only what you need. Consider donating any remaining items to charities. Load your heaviest items on the truck first. Boxes, packing tape, bubble wrap, moving blankets and hand trucks are also essential to keeping your belongings safer and making your move easier.

* Think safety. To avoid injury, always bend your knees and lift with your legs. Also, don’t text or talk on your cell phone while driving. While stopped for breaks, park in highly visible, well-lit areas and always lock all doors. If you’re using a moving truck, remember that it is taller, wider and heavier than cars or SUVs. So, drive a bit slower and take extra care when making turns, driving under overhangs or near low tree branches. Penske offers 24/7/365 emergency roadside assistance in case you have a problem.

* Make it fun. Keep a positive attitude during the move – play music, plan a fun dinner for after all the work is done and don’t let frustration get to you. Some moving trucks, like those from Penske have CD players, radios, air conditioning and cell-phone outlet chargers – make sure you’ve got all the things necessary for a comfortable, enjoyable ride.

* Go green. You might be able to save on costs and be kinder to the environment by moving together with someone from your area. Check with your residence life office on campus to help find someone to share the ride. Some truck rental companies participate in the Environmental Protection Agency’s SmartWay program, which is devoted to saving fuel, money and the environment. Penske earned the program’s highest possible rating.

* Keep the essentials with you. With most belongings packed tightly away, create a travel bag for moving day to keep important paperwork, credit cards, identification, change of clothes, drinks and snacks close at hand. More moving tips and even additional discounts through AAA can be found at www.PenskeTruckRental.com.

I’ve been doing a little research lately on the subject of teen drinking and drug addiction because my son, who is 24, is currently in rehab due to his addictions. I came across this article which, though a little old, has some good points in the article as well as in the comments.

One of the points raised by several of the commentors is that providing alcohol to a minor is illegal. Good point and I agree. I don’t believe you should teach your children to break the law just to prove a point. It teaches them that they don’t have to listen to authority or law makers and that rules are meant to be broken.

Another great point about this is, as a parent you don’t know if you’re teen is going to have an addiction problem or not. Chances are if there is any alcoholism or addiction issues anywhere in your family, you and your children are going to have them as well.

My son’s father is an addict though he refuses to admit it. Not only did he drink with my children, specifically my sons, he also smokes marijuana with them and who knows what else. I’m sorry, but what kind of example is that for your children?! All that teaches is that it’s okay to “mask your problems” or “make the pain go away” by being high or drunk. But I digress.

One of the arguments, as pointed out in the article, is that drinking with your kids may help them to not want to go out and party or experiment with alcohol on their own. Really? Does it? I don’t think so, especially if they are prone to addiction as you can see in the example of my ex-husband and my son. And like I mentioned above, you don’t know if your child is going to have addiction issues or not, therefore giving them that first drink may be like feeding poison to them and you don’t even realize it.

So, my stance on the issue is no, I do not think that parents should drink with their kids. What do you think? What personal experiences have you had on this issue?

Looking for help with your teen? Visit My Out Of Control Teen – an online parent-program for those who are struggling with their teenagers.

Do you have certain memories from your childhood? Some great and others may be not so great, right? Most of us do. I bet most of the really great memories are centered around a Holiday, special event or birthday. I would also bet a lot of the memories you retain stem from certain traditions your family observed. Have you carried those traditions on into your home and family? If you have, that is awesome. But why are traditions so important for families to have and to carry on through the generations, especially Holiday traditions?

As mentioned in the first paragraph, many of our memories probably stem from a tradition our family held every year or on occasion. There were probably certain events, activities and food that the tradition evolved around. In my family, for example, it is tradition to play a gift giving game every Christmas Eve with my side of the family. My mom, brother and his family and my husband and I get together each year for this game. This tradition was started by my now ex-husband’s family when my children were growing up so it’s important to them and they have many wonderful memories from it. We’re keeping those memories alive not only for my children, but we’re passing them down to my grandchildren as well.

Another tradition you might have around the Holidays is the decorating of the Christmas tree. Some families make it a tradition to get the whole family together every year to decorate the tree, make crafts and ornaments and even baked goods. My daughters and I have a baking day each year and we spend the whole day baking cookies and other Christmas treats to give as gifts and to serve at Christmas dinner.

These traditions are not only important for creating and preserving childhood memories, they are also important because they create a unique setting for some great quality time with family that you may not normally get.

Another reason Holiday traditions are so important for families is because they represent stability and continuity for families. Traditions are something you can count on and often look forward to. Our children and teens come to rely upon and understand this type of stability in the family setting.

If you don’t have any traditions started with your family, it’s not too late to start them now, no matter what age your children are. You can even announce, “This year we’re starting a new tradition!” Your children love it and most likely pass it on to their children for years to come.

The decision to get a divorce is usually an agonizing one. But the thought of telling our children about it can be absolutely terrifying. It’s disheartening to have to be the bearer of such devastating news, and it’s impossible to predict how they will react.

Talking to children about divorce is never easy. But there are some things you can do to make it less stressful for everyone involved. Here are some tips.

1. Talk to your children as soon as possible after you’ve come to a decision. Postponing the talk will just give you more time to dread it, and you may lose the trust of your kids. Make sure that you intend to go through with it, try to make some preliminary living arrangements, and break the news as soon as possible afterward.

2. If possible, both spouses should be present when telling children about divorce. Otherwise, they might feel as though the decision was one-sided or that the absent parent doesn’t care about them. This will also help them understand that you will still be parenting as a team.

3. Choose a time that will not interfere with your children’s normal activities, and a place that is familiar and comfortable. This shows respect for the things that are important to them and ensures that they will feel comfortable asking questions.

4. Tell all of your children at the same time. If you don’t, there will almost certainly be feelings of resentment. Even if they are not close in age, they deserve to hear about it at the same time. You can talk to them separately in more age-appropriate terms later.

5. Younger children are unlikely to understand what divorce means. Explain it in the simplest terms possible. Explain that you and your spouse will no longer be living together, that they will see both of you, and that both parents love them and always will.

6. Avoid arguing with the other parent or laying blame. This is a time to inform your kids about what’s going on, not to decide who’s right and who’s wrong.

7. Do your best to avoid expressing anger or bitterness, but feel free to express sadness. Doing so lets children know that it’s okay for them to be sad.

8. Make it a point to tell your children that it’s not their fault. Young children are especially prone to thinking that they are somehow to blame for divorce, even if they don’t vocalize it. It’s very important to reassure them that it has nothing to do with them.

9. Fill them in on everything that has been decided so far. They need to know where they will be staying, if a parent is moving out, and that their basic needs will be met. Do your best to address these concerns as fully as possible.

10. Encourage your children to ask questions, and answer them truthfully. You don’t have to tell them all of the details about why you are separating, but it is critically important to maintain their trust.

Honest Parenting is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.

As a mother of 4 kids who have been through the divorce of their parents, I know how difficult it can on the children when they have to go back and forth from one parent’s house to the other. I also know how difficult it is when the divorced parents aren’t on the same page when it comes to rules and other issues such as beliefs and lifestyles.

Divorce can be traumatic, not only for the separating partners, but also for their children. Kids who are caught in the middle experience a deluge of emotions, including sadness, anger and confusion. How the parents handle the divorce, however, can make it more or less difficult for them.

A frequent point of contention between divorcing parents is the set of rules that their children are expected to follow. Usually, while married, parents come up with a set of rules to which they can both agree. But in the event of separation, each parent may prefer to change the rules a bit for when the children are with them.

Overall, this is a bad idea. While it is ultimately up to the parent to enforce rules, having two different sets of rules is generally bad for the children. Here are a few reasons why this is so:

* Having to adjust to a different set of rules each time a child visits the other parent is difficult. They might get confused about which rules apply where, and that could get them in trouble.

* Children may resent the parent who enforces more restrictive rules. These rules might be in the child’s best interest, but he still feels that he’s being treated unfairly because they do not apply when he is with the other parent. This often leads to conflict between parent and child.

* A difference in rules can cause added conflict between the parents. Not only does this produce more stress in the adults, it also hurts the children. Even though the parents are separated, seeing them fight is not good for the children.

* Children need a sense of stability. This stability is lessened when their parents divorce. But being subject to the same rules at both households gives them some semblance of security.

Agreeing on the Rules

When you come to the decision to get a divorce, the first thing that’s usually discussed is who will get the children and how visitation will work. It’s also important to discuss the continuation of rules early on. Parents often assume that the other parent will keep the same rules, but that doesn’t always happen. This is especially true in households where the rules are flexible or not well defined.

For best results, rules should remain the same as when the parents were together. But children who are experiencing a state of transition may need to have their rules revised. For example, a teen who is ready to start dating will need rules that weren’t necessary before. In such circumstances, the parents need to discuss the prospective new rules ahead of time and do their best to come to an agreement on them.

Having the same rules at both homes makes things easier for parents and children. It makes for less conflict and greater uniformity. While a divorce is not by nature a pleasant experience, maintaining a consistent set of rules can make it less unpleasant.

Additional Resources

Parenting Your Teen Program – learn how to handle your teenager and all situations involving him or her in a true “WIN-WIN” Manner and develop the co-operative, down-to-earth, frustration-free relationship that you’ve always wanted.

Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.