Parenting My Teen

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Alternative Discipline for Parents of Teenagers

By: Mary Lutz Category: Parenting A Teen

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There are plenty of parents of teenagers who are searching for alternative discipline methods that will have a lasting and positive influence on their teens. The problem with a lot of the common discipline methods being used by many parents today is that it is primarily negative. It isn’t the actual punishments that are negative, but the manner in which parents are using to present their punishments to the teens that’s negative.

For example, let’s say your teen sneaks out of the house and gets pulled over for reckless driving. Many parents of teenagers would immediately begin yelling at their teen on the way home, telling him how stupid what he did was and then proceed to ground him or do whatever they felt was a fitting punishment. The actual punishment isn’t what makes this discipline method negative. It’s the way the parents handled the situation before delegating the punishment.

An alternative discipline method for handling this situation that would have better impact on everyone involved would be for parents of teenagers to pick their teen up from the police department and calmly drive home. First of all, your silence on the way home is going to relay how upset you are about what happened to your teen. There isn’t a need to yell. Secondly, it’s important that you look your teen in the eye when disciplining him or her, you can’t do this if you are driving. And, finally, this gives you time to get your temper under control.

So, once you get home, sit down at the kitchen table with your teen and begin to calmly ask for your teen’s side of the story. It’s important that you take the time to hear his side of the story and consider all of the factors involved. Try to look at things from your teen’s point of view. Then, once he has explained his side, it’s your turn. This is when you calmly explain how disappointed you are in his behavior and how dangerous of a situation he put himself and others in by his actions. Then, you proceed with a punishment that you feel is fitting. You then end the conversation by reaffirming to your teen that you love him and only want what is best for him.

Above is an alternative discipline method that is positive in nature. It has the same results as the first as far as the punishment goes, but it differs in the way parents convey the message to their teen. Hopefully, you can see the difference.

Parents of teenagers who practice positive discipline techniques understand that this form of discipline will have a more long-term effect on their teens’ lives. They also know that this form of discipline is one that always conveys love and respect to their teens, which is exactly what your teen will give back to you when you discipline in this way. Additionally, by handling situations like this in a positive and respectful way, you will be showing your teen how to handle heated situations with others in a positive manner. And, when your teen becomes a parent himself, your grandchildren will be treated with the same love and respect you treated your teen with.

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