The Importance of Teen Self Esteem
There is a lot of imporance on teen self esteem. The better your teens feel about themselves, the less likely they are to be disrespectful. Self-esteem affects many aspects of your teens’ life, from how well they are able to manage peer pressure to how well they perform academically.
You can foster your teen’s self-esteem by limiting your discipline to addressing behavior, not personality. When you are confronting your teen for a behavior, never say, “You are so stupid,” or, “Why did you do this? Don’t you learn?” When you criticize who your teen is, you diminish their entire person. Instead, address the behavior:
“I love you very much, but you made a very poor choice. The consequences of your choice are…”
“I know you are a good person. But by choosing to do this, you now are responsible for earning the money to pay for the damage.”
It doesn’t matter what your teen did or how “bad” it seems to you…it’s the action you are addressing, not the person, when you discipline.
Realize that you have less control over how your teen feels about himself or herself that you might realize. Much of your teen’s self-esteem is dependent on the respect and admiration he or she earns from peers at school. That’s why it is so important not to fight over the little things.
I always tell the parents I see at my seminars to “choose their battles.” If you are at war with your teenage son because he wants a purple Mohawk, even though he is otherwise a good kids with decent grades, you are drawing a line in the sand that will distance the two of you from each other and keep him from exploring his identity in a way that is meaningful to him.
Instead of fighting with your teen over his or her appearance or style, commend your teen for having a sense of individuality. Hair grows back. Colors fade. Support your teen as he or she explores new looks and styles; it is simply a way for him or her to discover true identity, make an impact and be noticed among his or her peers, and gain confidence.
By supporting these explorations, your teen will be more likely to respond when you really do have to say no…like when he or she has been invited to an unsupervised party in which there might be alcohol. If you’ve said yes to the purple Mohawk and yes to individuality, your teen will hear you when you say no, not this party, not this time.
Tips for building self-esteem in your teen:
- Treat your teen with respect
- Allow your teen to be an individual
- Celebrate your teen’s differences from you
- Empower your teen to make decisions about his or her own life
- Address behavior issues, not personality
- Talk to your teen, but more importantly, listen to your teen
- Give your teen coping tools to manage peer pressures
- Empower your teen to say no
Check out No-Nonsense Parenting For Today’s Teenager and learn how to feel like a good parent even when your teenager hates you. Also learn how get your disrespectful Teenager to LISTEN to what you say & RESPECT you as their parent while getting peace back in your home. Risk Free for 60 Days! No Obligation!”
