Teens and Sex
One of the most difficult, but necessary, conversations a parent needs to have with their teen is about sex. Its embarrassing, makes all participants uncomfortable, and, depending on what is said, it might be downright frightening. Parents can not let any of these reasons deter them from what may be a life saving conversation.
Teens involved in sex at too early of an age are not equipped with the tools necessary to make informed decisions. It is up to the parents to ensure that preteens and teens are given the right information, at the right time. Getting the “facts” from their friends can lead to incorrect information, which can lead to dangerous situations that they are not prepared for. Statistics for teen pregnancy and contraction of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are frightening. 750,000 teen aged girls will become pregnant every year, accounting for nearly 1/3 of all girls in the United States. Nearly 1/4 of all sexually active teens will contract an STD. The number may actually be higher though, since many cases can go undetected for years.
Before sitting down with your preteen or teenager, parents should become familiar with the latest information and statistics regarding sex. Passing on old information, or old misconceptions, is not beneficial and will only lead to confusion for the teenager when confronted with conflicting information from school heath education classes or friends. A good resource for parents is http://www.pamf.org/teen/parents/sex/sex.html, which offers advice on speaking to teens about sex, as well as links to various medical sites with specific information about STDs and adolescent health.
One worry that some parents may have, is that by talking to their preteen or teenager about sex, will lead to teens having sex. The truth is the exact opposite. Research has shown that by talking to kids early and giving them accurate information, they will be more likely to postpone sex until a later age. Postponing sex until a later age, or until marriage, reduces the risks of contracting a sexually transmitted disease, reduces the instances of teen pregnancy, and can help raise a teenager’s self esteem by teaching them that they are worth more than a quick romp in the hay.
If parents are nervous or uncomfortable about having a discussion about sex, admitting it to your teen may be just the ice breaker needed in order to have a productive conversation. Let your teenager know that no question is off limits, and if you do not know an answer, admit it and use it as an opportunity to research the answer together. Parents should try to not be judgemental in their answers to questions, even if their teen is admitting to having had sex already. As hard as that may seem, you want your teenager to feel comfortable coming to you when they have specific questions or if they have a problem. Open communication between parents and children is the single most important preventative measure that families can take.
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