Parenting Teens as a Single Mom
Single moms deserve a lot of credit whether they are raising babies or teenagers. It takes a lot of extra effort, patience, perseverance and determination to be a single mom. Parenting teens as a single mom is especially difficult due to the financial, emotional, educational and physical strains raising a teenager entails.
Financially
Raising a teen as a single mom can be especially stressful because teenagers require money extracurricular activities, special school assignments, vehicles to get around in and so on. Hopefully you have some financial support from the father, but this is not often the case. If you are raising a teen on your own, it’s best to teach your teen how to be frugal from the get go.
Most local resale shops have brand name clothing at reduced rates. Consignment shops often carry high quality, brand name clothing that your teen will love. Getting them in the shop for the first time might be challenging, but once they realize the value of consignment shops, they’ll be hooked. They will soon discover they can get so much more for their (your) money shopping at consignment stores. In addition, you can also teach them how to consign their clothes to earn some cash when they’re through with them.
Also, teach them how to be frugal when it comes to putting miles on the car. Help them map out the shortest routes and to plan ahead when going into town or shopping so they make as few trips as possible.
If they are old enough, it’s never too early for them to get a job. Teach them how to fill out an application, ask to talk to the manager and to make follow up phone calls. Then once they have a job, teach them how to budget and how to save money for larger items they desire. You can also allow them to help pay a bill or two, especially if they have a cell phone or a computer that requires internet service.
Emotionally
Raising a teenager as a single mom is probably the most difficult emotionally for you and your teen. If your singleness is due to divorce, your teen may be harboring some resentment towards you and your ex-husband. If you notice your teen acting out abnormally in anger or suspect alcohol or drug use, seek professional counseling immediately for both of you.
The teenage years are difficult emotionally anyway due to rising hormone levels and peer pressure. Try to keep the lines of communication open between you and your teen. Teach them to talk to you respectfully and to honor your rules. This may require tough love, but believe me, you’re teen needs and wants routine and boundaries, whether they know it or not.
For more tips and information on raising a teen as a single mom, see Real Life Guidance for Understanding your Teen by Aurelia Williams.
“…seek professional counseling immediately for both of you…”…??? Are you freaking kidding me? Who the heck can AFFORD counseling? I have raised my kid ALONE since she was less than one month old, because I did the RIGHT THING and left her abusive loser father. I get no child support, but my paycheck is right over the line for getting any sort of help. I am looked down upon because I can NEVER PAY MY BILLS ON TIME. So, I guess that makes me a bad person. Where in the world are the REALISTIC articles or resources to help REAL single moms? No single parent I know can afford help. My family can’t help me. I am a few credits from having my Bachelor’s degree – that’s not helping. I can’t get a raise. What can I do? I need more money, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to earn more.
1p.s. to the above statement…my daughter is 17 years old. Her “father” is on SSI (do you know how many websites are out there dedicated to making sure fathers on SSI know how to avoid paying child support? The government won’t take it from them anyway). Also, I’ve contacted the Social Security administration, and they tell me the only way she’ll get benefits is if he dies, since he is on SSI. Nice. What are mothers like ME supposed to do? Maybe I’m the only one out there in this situation. Everyone else seems to get food stamps, welfare, etc, but since I have a job, I get screwed out of any sort of help.
2Hey Heather,
I actually CAN relate to you, somewhat. I was a single mother of 4 kids. No, I didn’t raise them from infant-hood as a single mom, but nevertheless I was a single mother with a job and couldn’t get any help from the state because I “made too much money”. HA!!!
I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do, other than hang in there and keep plugging along. It will get a bit easier as your daughter gets older and goes into adulthood.
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