Parenting My Teen

One of the most frightening sentences in English language is “I have teenagers.”  Notorious for misbehavior, stubbornness, and an unwillingness to use their brains, teenagers get a bad rap in the parenting world.  Yet teenagers can be an absolute joy with their fun personalities and unbridled passion for new experiences in life.

Teenagers today face problems that were not around when we were growing up.  Instances of drug use, teen pregnancy, and dating abuse have all risen to unprecedented levels.  With the influence of musicians, sports stars, actors, and even politicians, is it even any wonder that many of our teens are slowly sliding downhill?

Things are not all bad though.  There are large numbers of teens swearing off sex while they are young, refusing drugs and alcohol, getting active in their communities, working, and planning on college.  Why is there such a difference in these two groups?  Parenting has a large influence on the choices our teens are making.  Active, involved parenting doesn’t stop when our children enter kindergarten.  Even if both parents are working out side of the home, it is still possible to stay in touch with your teenager’s life and monitor what is going on.

Teenagers are looking for independence from their parents, but that independence does not come without responsibility.  Teaching children from a young age about responsibility for not only their material things, but their own bodies as well, will help keep them safe.  Many of us as parents are afraid to have “the talk” with our kids, whether it is about sex or drugs, but it needs to be done.  When they are taught to respect their bodies and minds, kids will be more likely to think twice about having early sex or trying drugs.  The great thing about teaching children to respect their bodies and themselves is that it is universal to all families.  It does not matter if you are religious, agnostic or atheist, the same principles apply that as intelligent humans we are unique and deserve to be treated well.

For working parents, it may seem hard to keep in touch with your teenager’s life.  You work long hours, are tired when you get home, and it is sometimes just easier to let your teen sit in their room on the computer than to interact with them at that moment.  As hard as it is though, that is the exact moment that sharing some time with your teen may reveal some interesting things going on in their lives.  Parents need to take the time to talk to their kids.  Without talking to them, how do you expect to know what is going on in their lives?  Another great place to talk and get in tune with your teen is while you drive them somewhere.  Ask them how their friends are, what is going on at school, how did they do on their test.  Once you have a conversation going, try to remain cool and calm, no matter what they tell you.  If you react negatively at the smallest thing, they will not come to you with the bigger stuff, the more important stuff.

Parenting is never going to be easy.  Every stage has its difficulties, but with love and understanding, parents and families can get through just about anything intact and stronger.  A healthy, confident, teenager with high self-esteem should be every parent’s goal.

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