How to Help your Teen When One Parent is Out of the Picture
As a leader in our youth group, most of the kids that attend are from dysfunctional and broken homes; their parents are either divorced or were never married and are now living with one parent full time, or are living part time with each parent. As a divorced mom, I know how devastating this can be to your child(ren). It’s even worse when one parent is completely removed from their lives, whether it’s by miles, or due to some other circumstance. When a parent is absent from the picture, the child suffers emotionally, mentally and sometimes even physically. But, there are some ways you can help your teen avoid or overcome the difficulties that often arise in this situation.
If it’s at all possible, try to keep the other parent in the picture. Unless the other parent is doing something detrimental to your teen, your teen needs them in their life. I know this may be difficult for you, especially if you have ill feelings toward the other parent. However, it is very important to your teen to be allowed to interact and live a somewhat “normal” life with both parents.
In my situation, my ex-husband is addicted to marijuana and alcohol. Therefore, it is not a good situation for my children to be in, but I do allow them to see him, and my 19 year old son chooses to live with him. That’s a whole other story which I will get to sometime, and have even touched on it here some in previous posts.
If the other parent isn’t allowed to be an active participant in your child’s life, there will be empty places in his or her life that he or she will try to fill with other things. For example, if a young girl doesn’t have a stable daddy figure in her life, she will most likely tend to act out sexually. Girls do this because they are trying to fill that missing void of a daddy figure in their life. What usually happens is, girls find boys that will have sex with them, thinking the boy loves them, but the boy ends up dumping them. The girl now has a broken heart, has given a piece of her heart to that boy, and now feels empty again. This cycle continues until the girl realizes she’s trying to fill that daddy spot with other male figures and learns to fill her life in other meaningful ways. Church, sports, music and other talents are things some girls turn to fill that empty void.
If you’re divorced or a single parent and the other parent isn’t in the picture, help your teen find meaningful ways to fill that empty place in their lives. If they have a particular talent in music or sports, support them every way you can by being present at games or recitals. If they get involved in church, help drive them to youth group or Sunday services.
If you see your teen turning to drugs or sex, get help right away. But most important of all, talk to your teen and be involved in their life and let them know how much you love them.
Recommended reading: Getting Your Teen to Talk, How to Get a Teen To Talk, Addictions, Relationships, Sex and Body Image
