Helping Your Troubled Teen: Dating and Abuse
Parenting teenagers is hard enough. Enter the world of teen dating. Friday nights at the movies, Saturday nights out with friends, phone calls that last until the wee hours of the morning, all of it fun and exciting. Unfortunately, as statistics show, teen dating can be dangerous territory. Teen pregnancy and diseases aside, dating violence and abuse is on the rise. One out of every three teens has experienced some type of abuse in the romantic relationships, including physical, verbal and sexual abuse.
With nearly 40% of teenage girls reporting that they personally know someone who has been physically abused by a partner, it is about time that this issue comes to light. Parents can help to reduce these scary numbers by beginning to educate their children at a young age about respect and love.
Eighty percent of girls that have been abused in their relationship stay with their abusive partner. This is a sad fact, and one that parents can help prevent. Parents of girls need to communicate with their daughters, even before they talk about the birds and the bees, that they are worthy of love and respect only, and that they have the right to walk away from someone abusing them. When teens girls begin dating, parents can talk to them about their right to say no to anything they are not comfortable with, and that they can walk away from an abusive boyfriend at any time, with their parent’s full support. For the parents of boys, teaching their sons that women are to be respected and treated as equals begins at home. A boy’s father is the ideal model for this behavior. If their father shows love and respect for the women in the family, especially the mother, sons will grow up modeling that behavior.
If a teen is already involved in an abusive relationship, parents can help. Rather than attacking the character of the abusive partner or ordering a separation, which can cause a teen to come to their defense and alienate the parents, use positive reinforcement to give the teenager the self-confidence to end the abuse themselves. Encourage them to seek out the company of friends and family, anyone other than the abusive partner. Take a family vacation that will separate them from the abusive partner, giving the teen time to think and get their head straight. Often times, abusive partners do not give their victims time alone for just this reason. Talk to the teenager about their self-esteem and how they think they can increase their positive view of themselves. The key to keeping teens safe from dating violence and abuse is to give them the tools necessary to value themselves more than the abusive partner. Only when they see their true worth, will they have the power in them to end the abuse for good.
Written in a straightforward, easy-to-understand style, Parenting Your Teen provides the steps to a better relationship with your teenager which can be instantly applied by anyone.
