Parenting My Teen

One thing that parents definitely don’t look forward to when their children become teens is teen peer pressure. It seems as though their previously level-headed preteen has become a totally different person overnight. You can help your teen cope with peer pressure but it may take some effort on your part.

In some cases teen peer pressure can be a good thing. A lot of that depends upon the friends that your teen has. If they are respectful, conscientious, and hard-working it is called positive peer pressure. On the other hand, if your daughter decides to dye her hair purple and begin wearing nothing but black, the friends she has have a negative peer pressure affect on her.

The simplest definition for peer pressure is friends influencing one another’s behavior. This influence can be from verbal cues, non-verbal cues, or may even be totally unconsciously passed on by their friends. If you learn to recognize the effect your child’s friends have on them, you can help them maneuver around peer pressure while they are teens. This may also help them make better decisions or avoid some typical teen pitfalls.

Remember what it was like for you as a teenager. You may be able to recall how your friends influenced your actions, thoughts, or words. Most of the peer pressure your teen will face won’t be anything to seriously worry about. However, some friends will try to encourage your teens to smoke, take drugs, drink, or experiment with sexual activity before they’re ready. These are the types of peer pressure you want to be aware of.

Maintaining an open line of communication with your teen will allow you to discuss any changes your teen may make. For instance, if your teen starts speaking to you in a derogatory manner, you may want to ask them about any new friends they have. Don’t talk to them in an accusatory fashion, but try to find out what has changed recently.

Here are some warning signs that your teen could be adversely affected by teen peer pressure and may be headed down a road they’d rather not travel:

* They dramatically change their hair, clothes, or the music they listen to. If the changes are drastic and quick, they may be hanging around with a new group of friends who are not a good influence on them.

* Skipping school is another indication that your teen is succumbing to negative peer pressure. Don’t expect your teen’s school to contact you about absences; call and ask them.

* Their grades have slipped. If your A and B student starts getting Cs or worse, this is an indication that something or someone is causing a change in them. Perhaps your child is experimenting with drugs, so don’t take this sign lightly. It truly could be a life or death situation.

* They are isolating themselves from the family. If your teen feels they need to hide something from you, they know it’s easiest to do this if they avoid you altogether. This should be a big red flag that something isn’t right.

* Changes in sleep patterns could also indicate a problem with drugs. While sleeping late may not always indicate this, if it happens quite often you’ll want to have a talk with your teen.

Teen peer pressure doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Quite often your teen’s friends will have a positive influence on them. As a parent it’s important to notice the warning signs of negative peer pressure, step in, and help them cope with the pressure they’re feeling.