What I am about to tell you may save the life of your child. In today’s world the safety and well-being of your teenager depends on his awareness and knowledge of sex.

It is critical that you, as a responsible and loving parent address that issue in detail.  Here are some key questions to broach the subject, to let your child know you care and want the best for them.

Recognize that your teen may be reluctant to speak about something so personal with you if you are not accustomed to sharing feelings and intimate topics. You may feel embarrassed bringing up the subject.

Before you do, be sure you can answer these questions for yourself.  Also, decide what you are comfortable sharing about your personal experiences and beliefs on the subject of teen sexuality and activity.

* To start, simply ask your teenager, “What kind of questions do you have or what do you want to know more about regarding sex?” You will certainly grab their attention.

* You may want to throw out some information they are unlikely to know, something like, “Do you know that the sex partners you choose can influence your vulnerability to certain types of cancer?”

The object here is to get your child talking-or at least willing to talk. He may tell you he knows everything he needs to know. Where do you go from there?

* Ask, “Do you know that sex is not the same thing as love?” Watch his face for acknowledgement, disagreement, or confusion. Follow up with, “Sex is physical while love is emotional”.

Listen to them. Pay attention to what they say and to the words they do not speak. Notice their body language, hear the underlying message, the words between the lines, his tone, word choice and pace.  Note their emotions, eye contact, and whether she/he is at ease or trying to conceal any discomfort.

If you do observe that your child is uncomfortable, tell them that you noticed and ask if he wants to talk about what is bothering themm. Assure your teen that you are not here to judge them.

Most important, let them know you are having this talk because you love them and no matter what he/she has done or is thinking about doing, they are  safe talking with you. Tell them nothing can change your love that you have for them.

And then go where he takes you. If your teen chooses to be silent, let him be silent. It is okay to have silence. They do not need to speak. They may be processing.

Give your teen the time and space they need to do what they need to do.  Your teen will walk away knowing that you are available when they want to talk.

Facts are key. If your teen has unanswered questions, where can they go for accurate information? The streets, his friends, and the media may not be the best place to find what he seeks on the subject of sex.

* Be sure you ask your child, “Do you know that protection is not a 100% guarantee of health, safety or an absolute deterrent to pregnancy?” Be sure they know the consequences of the actions he may or may not take.

* Follow-up with, “Do you want help or advice in obtaining protection?”  That question is especially important for girls who may want to see a gynecologist and may not know how to find a good one who can take care of her needs.

If your teen uses the Internet, know that more than 61,000 searches were done in the month of April on phrases dealing with teen pornography. What pages is your child visiting? Ask.  Know that if you impose your will he/she will go elsewhere to pursue their desires. Build trust with your teenager.

The purpose in having this talk is education. I do not, in any way, shape, or form, advocate teen sex. However, statistics show that youngsters as young as 13 engage in sexual activity. Have the talk now.

When hormones and peer pressure kick in, a wise and educated youngster, who has previously given thought to and made decisions about his actions, has a better chance of living the life he wants than one who has not prepared himself for the inevitable emotions and situations that will come up in life.

Actions and results, desirable and undesirable, reflect self esteem. To change behaviors, treat the cause not just the symptoms.

What is the cost, to you and to them, of not knowing where your teenager stands on sex?

Ali Bierman — To find out more and grab your gift, the e-course, Parents, Are You Making These 6 Mistakes with Your Child? click here now http://www.saveyourchildnow.com

Teens don’t come with an instruction manual, but you can certainly find the guidance to help you understand your teen. Click here to find out more about the Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen and get instant access to your practical guide.