My daughter, the youngest child of 4, is 17 and a senior in high school. She is a very strong willed child, but she definitely has been my easiest to raise of the 4. And though she is strong willed, there are still some things I need to teach her before I release her into the world after graduation in the Spring.

For instance, she doesn’t cook. She doesn’t like to cook, or maybe she’s even afraid of it somewhat, but it’s definitely something we need to work on. I’ve slowly been trying to get her to cook with me when I make dinner, but she still hasn’t taken much interest in it. She does make a mean batch of brownies though, I must say. So, perhaps she will be more  of a baker. Slow cooker meals are also easy, so I plan on teaching her how to make some of those.

Another area she needs some more work in is financially. She has been trying all summer and fall to get a job, and was babysitting, but because of the economy and most of the jobs around our area are taken by adults so she has not been able to find one. Therefore, I haven’t really sat down with her and taught her how to budget her own money. We have gone over some budgeting principals with her as we deal with our own budget, but she hasn’t experienced it yet with her own money.

As far as cleanliness goes, she is very detailed and organized. Her room is never a mess and she has a routine. She does do her own laundry too, so I have no worries there. I think it will be funny though when she has to do her own dishes all the time.

There is more to teaching your teens to being independent though than cooking, money and cleaning. Teens have been co-dependent on you, their parents, their whole lives so far, so they need to understand that there are times when they may suddenly feel all alone in the world, especially if they are in college, far from home.  Maybe it won’t be so easy for them to come home every Holiday and all their friends will be gone, away from campus. This could be a big shocker to them, so have a few heart to hearts with them about this before you send them off to college, especially if it’s far away. Explain to them that it’s okay to be alone; and give them some ways to utilize that alone time in a healthy way. For example, they can get a good book read; work on a term paper or some other large assignment; clean out their dorm; help out at the soup kitchen or food pantry; work extra hours and make some extra money; do some volunteer work at the hospital; visit a nearby relative.

Then there’s the whole aspect of teaching your teen how to live in the “real world”.  The world is not an easy place to navigate for everyone, so the more they know before they leave the nest, the better prepared they will be. Talk to your teen about some real life issues you experienced when you were a teen. Tell them how you felt when you went away to college or moved out of your parent’s house. Sure, it seems exciting at first, but after the first couple of months, reality sets in and then it’s not so fun anymore. Help your teen be prepared by talking with them and allowing them to experience some real life issues without your immediate intervention. Allow them to make some decisions on their own while they’re still home with you, guiding them and directing them so hopefully they make the right one. But, if they don’t, allow them to feel the consequences and learn from their mistake.

Being a parent of a teen isn’t easy, but if you don’t prepare them before they leave the nest, they will just return time and time again, and continue to be dependent on you or others.

Honest Parenting: is truly helpful information that is easy to understand and absolutely works to help you build (or RE-build) a positive, pleasant, and productive relationship with your child or teen.