Parenting My Teen

Today’s teenagers are often thought to be selfish, uncaring, and disrespectful people who don’t have any redeeming qualities.  That image of teenagers is wrong in most cases.   Talk with your teen about sensitive issues and you’ll see how they really do depend upon you, as parents, for guidance.  It’s never too early to begin opening the doors of communication about sensitive topics, but unfortunately it can be too late.

You may be surprised to find that your teen actually wants you to establish boundaries.  They may rebel against them a little bit, but they’re really just testing you to see how serious you are about the boundaries you’ve set.

They need to know where you stand on issues such as sex, drugs, alcohol, dating, and others.  However, they also need to know that you care about their feelings and opinions; you need to discuss issues, not just give them a list of rules they must obey.  They need some freedom to explore and grow.  You want to make sure they know that they can come to you to discuss anything and everything and that won’t happen if you’re just a dictator.

* Let them know what you expect from them at home and in public.

* Respect them as individuals and they will be more respectful of you.

* Be supportive when they do come to you with problems or concerns.

Expect that your teen will have questions about drugs, alcohol, sex, and violence. Don’t make your teen feel like their concerns are trivial or don’t avoid these topics.  You need to be open and honest with them, sharing your concerns and your experience with the topics at hand. Do some role playing with your spouse asking questions your teen might.  Then come up with answers that will address their fears or concerns.

Quite often teens will ask questions at the most inopportune time, much like a toddler will.  Try not to be caught off guard too much. Be straightforward with them rather than pushing the question to the side.  Address it when it comes up rather than having to contradict the information they get from their friends who are willing to talk with them about it.

Let your child know that you may not be entirely comfortable discussing a topic, but that your relationship is more important than a little bit of discomfort.  They may be uncomfortable bringing the subject up as well. You don’t have to spell out to your teen every detail of your own teenage years, but using examples and lessons you learned may help them see that you’re not totally out of step with them.

Teenagers don’t know everything they need to know as they grow into adulthood. Your responsibility as a parent doesn’t stop when your child becomes a teen, in fact you’ve just graduated to a new level of relationship.  Take every opportunity to talk with your teen about sensitive issues now while they’re still at home, and before it’s too late to have an influence on them.

Teens don’t come with an instruction manual, but you can certainly find the guidance to help you understand your teen. Click here to find out more about the Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen and get instant access to your practical guide.