Help Your Teen have a Good Self-Image
Help your Teen Have a Good Self-Image: Part One
As a parent of 4 children, two of which are grown and the other two not far behind, one of the hardest things to teach your child as they’re growing up is to have a good self-image. I use the term “teach” here because I believe as parents, it’s our responsibility to help our children learn to love themselves; everything about them, including the way they appear.
As a teenager growing up, I had a horrible self-image, thought I was fat when I wasn’t and didn’t think anyone would ever find anything desirable about me. Now I know and understand that this has a lot to do with the fact that I was sexually molested by my step-father for years, but the fact that I suffered with a poor self-image for many years into my adulthood, it’s no wonder my children struggle with their self-image. Now, I’m not saying any of them have horrible self-images as some teens do, but there is room for improvement. There is still room for improvement in my personal self-image as well.
However, this is not true for many teens. As a youth leader in our church, many of the teens that attend are from broken homes-horribly broken and very dysfunctional homes. Most of them have very low self-images as a result. Because our children rely on us, their parents, to provide for them, support them financially, mentally and emotionally, when we fail to do that it is reflected in our children’s lives. They tend to look down upon themselves in every aspect of their lives, including their self-image.
But, even if your past isn’t so great and you grew up in a dysfunctional home, or if your home now is some sort of dysfunctional situation, you can still help your teen have a good self-image. Now, I’m not talking about them being cocky or conceited; I’m talking about helping them have a truly, healthy good self-image, one that portrays confidence in every aspect of their lives and one that reflects their true inner beauty.
Inside every human being there is a beautiful soul, no matter what we look like on the outside. Sometimes that soul is buried so deep in depression or other issues that it might be hard to find, but it is there. We, as parents, can help our teen find that beautiful inner soul. We can do this by nurturing our children, supporting them emotionally and mentally and just loving them.
I know it’s often easier said than done, especially if you were not shown the support and love you needed by your parents. But with some effort and time it can be done. You can help your teen have a good self-image and genuine confidence now and for the rest of their lives.
There are several key steps you can take and in this post, I’m going to begin with one. In the next post in this series, I will cover the remaining steps. Because step one is so important, I want you to take some time to begin implementing it in you and your teen’s life.
Step one to helping your teen have a good self-image is: Communication.
That’s right. Start talking to your teen. Not preaching at them, telling them what they’ve done wrong today or yesterday, or that their hair is weird or that they’re going to go deaf listening to their music so loud, but just talking to them as if you would your friend or relative.
As I stated earlier, this may take some time, especially if this is an area that is difficult for you. Start small and work your way into longer conversations. You’ll be surprised at how well your teen will begin opening up once they realize you were a human a teen once too. Talk to your teen about some of the issues you had growing up, how you felt when you were teased. We all go through it whether you were the prom queen or the class geek.
When you’re talking with your teen, make sure they hear from your mouth and your heart how proud you are of them. Even if they just got detention for something they did at school, there are good things they do and they are a good person. Make sure you acknowledge even the smallest of good behavior with a simple “thank you”. Don’t overdo it with tons of enthusiasm either; they may feel embarrassed and never do the good deed again.
As you continue talking with your teen and acknowledging good behavior, you’ll soon start to see the beautiful person they are inside. You’ll begin to see them become more confident, but more importantly they’ll begin to see themselves in a whole different light. And as their confidence grows, so will their self-image
In the next post on this topic I’ll give you other keys to help your teen have a good self-image.
