Parenting My Teen

My 24 year old son is currently in a rehabilitation center for addicts. He just recently spent 30 days in jail for violating his probation. He was released from jail and the next day we drove him to the rehab center.

It’s very difficult watching your child go through something like this. At the time of this typing, it is the day after Thanksgiving, and he missed spending it with his family. He will be out in time for Christmas though and the birth of his daughter who is due Feb. 8.

My son is an addict, an addict to being high. It doesn’t matter how he gets the high, just so long as he is high. I don’t understand it. When I was a teen, I entered the party scene, did my share of drinking and smoking pot, but I was never addicted. I didn’t have to be high all the time. But, my son does, or thinks he does.  No, it’s not even that he thinks he does…it’s like his body craves it, like it’s in his soul. He tells me he doesn’t want to live like that anymore, but as soon as he gets around alcohol or drugs, he has no power over his actions and he always goes overboard. He can’t have “just one”. One is never enough and it’s never enough until he’s so high he can’t walk or talk straight, or he passes out.

I’ve gotten to talk to him on the phone a few times since he was admitted to rehab. In the first phone call I could hear the struggle in his voice. He was having anxiety issues and needed the phone number to his doctor so he could get his anxiety meds filled. That’s another issue we’ve had to deal with. The pills he takes for anxiety, if abused, can make him high. So, not only was he drinking and smoking marijuana, he was also abusing prescription drugs.

My son has been in rehab before, at a different center. But at that time, his visit to rehab was in lieu of jail time and he wasn’t ready to admit he had a problem, nor was he ready to give it up. Upon being released from rehab, he was sentenced to 90 days house arrest, which meant he could only go to work and had a monitor hooked up to the phone line. He had to be at work or at home at all times. I don’t think there were any special allowances for Holidays or birthdays either. You think that would have been an eye opener for him. But, no, 9 days after his house arrest sentence was up, he was arrested for drunk driving again, which landed him 5 months in jail. The five months in jail were a bit on an eye opener for him, and when he was released, he did really well for about 6 months. Then slowly he started slipping back into his addiction, getting drunk or high now and then, and before we knew it, he was full blown back into his addiction.

The rehab center he’s in now was by recommendation by his probation officer. It seems to be a “lighter” type of rehab center than the previous one he was in. My son says they have a lot of free time and relaxation in the current one. Part of me thinks it’s a good thing because then hopefully he will learn how to function in life without being high and without having to be coached all the time. He said he’d prefer to have classes and group sessions more, but I think he really needs to learn to deal with life, the way it really is. Life isn’t always exciting, there’s not always something to do, and a lot of times it’s downright boring. But that’s life. It’s not a party all the time and he needs to learn how to function without the party, without something exciting going on all the time.

My son gets out December 21, keep him in your thoughts and prayers, if you would. Also, if you’re a parent of an addict, feel free to leave your story here too. Maybe we can help each other out.