6 Tips for Making Your Teen-Parent Relationship Work
As your child approaches their teen years, you’ll begin to notice some changes in him. He will probably be expressing his desire to be out of the house more often and will want to keep his privacy from you. Other times, he may not be listening to you nor doing what you ask him. Many parents experience the same issues when dealing with their teens, but don’t worry, they are perfectly normal. Here are some tips for making your teen-parent relationship work.
Just like when you were a teenager, your son or daughter prefers to spend time with their friends rather than with parents or family. This is perfectly normal and part of their inherent desire to be more independent. The key is to allow them some freedom, while setting some reasonable boundaries. These boundaries might include: a set time to be home, no going out with friends until homework is done, knowing where they’re going and who they’re going with, and if plans change, they are to call you and ask for permission. By setting boundaries, you teen is allowed some freedom, and you feel safe letting them experience that freedom.
Talk with your teen. It might be easier if you start the conversation. It can be as easy as “How was your day, buddy?” Try to discuss things instead of interrogating him. Find interesting topics, such as sports, entertainment, friends, and school experiences to make it relaxing. Often teens feel alienated from their parents and parents feel intimidated by their teen simply because they don’t ever talk.
Listen to him. If your teen seems critical towards you, listen to him and ask what he expects from you. Talk about this calmly and not emotionally. It’s good for him to be able to express his feelings.
Set rules for your teen. Your teen needs to recognize what is and isn’t acceptable and what the consequences of misbehavior are. Therefore you should set or negotiate some rules with your teen to keep him on track.
Consider his point of view. Respect his opinion whenever you discuss something. This also shows that you pay attention to him and consider him as important.
Encourage your teen by engaging in his interests and talent. Most teens like to try new things so allow your teen choose what he desires to be involved in. The best way to show your support is simply by being there. If they are involved in a sport, go to as many games as possible. If it’s drama or choir, attend as many plays and recitals as you possibly can, for example.
Do things together. This one is surely a great opportunity for you to improve your relationship with your teen. Ask your teen what they’d enjoy doing with you, then do it. It may be as simple as them showing you their newest video game or going to the mall. No matter what it is, spending that time with your teen is priceless, and those moments will soon be gone as they go off to college and into adulthood.
Additional Resources:
Parenting Your Teen Program – learn how to handle your teenager and all situations involving him or her in a true “WIN-WIN” Manner and develop the co-operative, down-to-earth, frustration-free relationship that you’ve always wanted.
Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.
So often parents look for help with parenting relative to their teens. It’s completely understandable. As the author of “Having The Courage To Love Your Child, The Old School Smart Parents Handbook”, I wrote about the the need for parents to engage themselves in a few things. Honest communication being one. This does require that the parent have the ability to listen. The most important aspect of this type of communication first requires a self evaluation of the parent by the parent. It can be challenging. But if you really want to help your child, giving yourself a checkup first is a prerequisite for the successful parenting of a teen.
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