Teen Discipline Tips That Work
Teen Discipline: Just as Important Now as it was Then
As the parent of a teen, you no doubt wish you could go back to the days when it was easier to discipline and correct your child. The days when you did it because you knew they knew no better and looked to you for guidance and direction in this scary world. With your child now turned teenager, “No, No” just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Sadly, many parents, now days are under the assumption that since their teen is old enough to know right from wrong, they don’t have to discipline them. After all, they know what they can and can’t do, as well as the consequences that arise from doing wrong, and that should be enough to keep them on the straight and narrow, right?
Oh, how nice that would be; teach your child right from wrong, throw in a few repercussions and every child would choose the right path in life? Enough of dream world, it’s time to face reality.
As a teenager, your child is experiencing so many changes in his or her life right now, why give them something else to adapt to. Your consequences for wrong choices and your quantity of discipline may change, but the quality should not.
Your teen needs to know that you have boundaries, what they are and the consequences for crossing them. More importantly, your teen needs to know that you will stick with those consequences.
Many parents don’t realize that the discipline you give your child as a teenager is what will stick in their mind the longest. The discipline you teach your teen will help them to succeed in adult life, maybe even more so than the “no-no” and “that’s icky” ever will. Sure the basic lessons will stay embedded in their memory for life, but the fresher knowledge will be what they recall first.
Parenting a teen requires a strong backbone, consistency and a lot of patience. It’s not easy, but there are some basics to keep in mind when considering teen discipline.
Remember the saying, “Monkey See, Monkey Do”? This especially applies to parents of teens. You’re child will be more apt to say things like, “Why is it ok for you, but not me?” When they were younger it was ok to say, because I’m an adult. Now your child is older and can see right through that. In addition, you don’t want them to raise your future grandchildren on that belief do you?
“Do as I say and not as I do”, won’t work either. Just like you, your teen is now held accountable for the choices they make. Set a good example and show your teen, through not only your words, but your actions as well, what it takes to become an accountable adult.
The younger years taught your child right from wrong in many ways, such as don’t touch the stove; it’s hot and will burn you. But as a parent of a teen, you are dealing with problems that could have a much more negative effect on your child than ointment and a band-aide can heal. The teen years bring on issues such as drugs and sexuality that can have a lasting impact on what your child does or doesn’t do with their life as an adult.
June 6th, 2008 at 3:29 am
Hi,
My name is Karen Mauthe and I’m 15 years old. The truth is, your tips are right. The old sayings just won’t work anymore. Alot of today’s teenagers are more analytical about hypocrisy between them and their parents. I know I am. I question my parents’ actions and such on a daily basis. It’s nice to know that there is someone out there who understands how to deal with us. Most parents think a simple “No” and “Because I said so” will suffice but it won’t. We NEED answers straight forward and truthful. My parents don’t know how to deal with me ( i am not an out of control teenager ) because I am much more intelligent than most people my age and already understand so much about life at such a young age. I’m a freshman in highschool and it’s been a stressful year with keeping my grades at A’s and i’ve been having crazy moodswings and anger problems, questioning everything my parents do, and losing sleep. My parents think that i’m always angry at them or they’re doing something wrong or that they just can’t win with me. Kinda like the old saying, “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. They think I need disciplined but neither of them got past sophmore year or graduated. There’s alot of pressure to be perfect although they say there’s not, but i see it in their eyes. But i guess i’m trying to say thanks. My parents are at least trying to understand now.
Very Thankful,
Karen
June 6th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Karen, thank you so much for your honest and heart-felt post.
I am so hapy to hear that your parents are trying to understand you a bit moreI would do things to encourage them to do this more often by doing a few thing.
1 - out of the blue, just approach your parents with some small talk. It can be about your day, their day or perhaps plans for teh weekend?
2 - what about writing them notes? Sometimes parents are wrapped up in their lives and they assume things are one way when they infact could be another.
I will say that parents that aren’t leading by example are selling themselves AND the entire family short
I do hope that things continue to grow stronger and better in your household. I would like to offer you a GIFT of a free copy of my eBook ‘Real Life Guidance Guide to Understanding Your Teen’: http://www.reallifeguidance.com/understand-teen.html simple send an email to me at aurelia@parentingmyteen.com and its yours as my gift. Perhaps you can have your parents read it and you can read it as well., The Report comes with detailed information about what is the root behind most mood-swings and what teens and parents of teens an help.
Take care and I sure hope that you bookmarked this site