Parenting My Teen #29
My guest this week is Jean Walbridge, a licensed clinical social worker and owner of www.ParentingAdolescents.com. Jean has great advice to help us open up the lines of communication with our teens and she discusses what is a fair consequence for bad behavior.
For today’s teens, the authoritarian parent is often ignored and rebellion is often more pronounced. Rather than trying to “lay down the law” with your teen, have a calm conversation with them, discussing the household rules and what the consequences will be if the rules are broken. Asking for your teen’s opinion of what they think is fair will give them a sense of responsibility and make them feel respected by you.
A fair consequence should be slightly difficult or disappointing for a teen to accept. They should “feel a pinch” and know that they will risk this consequence if they choose to engage in the bad behavior again.
A good consequence does not eliminate the bad behavior altogether. Rather, the consequence should teach a lesson that if your teen does a certain behavior, then a particular consequence will occur. They need to know that they have stepped over the line if they break a household rule.
Listen to Jean’s advice if you have a teen who does not adhere or care about the consequences of their actions. Although you can’t control your teen’s behavior, they need you to influence their behavior. They are still learning so they need you to be their coach.
