Comments on: Parenting a Pregnant Teen

By: Aurelia

Aurelia — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 19:58:56 +0000

Hi Kelly – Thanks for posting. It sounds as if you are offering your daughter the must needed support she is going to need.

I wouldn’t begin to guess what a court would do but what I would do just to be on the safe side is to contact a lawyer and ask them some key questions. It sounds to me that her father is really upset about the pregnancy. Is there any chance that you and her father can talk calmly about the situation? What about a mediator? Family or friend (third party)?

Aurelia ==

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:23:46 +0000

Well I just found out my 14 yr old daughter is going to be a mother herself, we have discussed it and she is going to keep the baby with my help, however my problem is with my ex-husband, her dad. He is furious and went to a lawyer to try and take custody away from me, mind you in 12 years we have been separated/divorced he has never, not even one time taken his full visitation, when she has been in the hospital (she has had a few surgeries on her ears, & her appendix burst) he has never come to be with her, never came to her cheerleading games or competitions, does anybody know if he could actually get custody from me because she got pregnant?

By: Aurelia

Aurelia — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 15:48:28 +0000

Hey there Nancy and Amy — can you please contact me at aurelia.mwilliams@gmail.com Thanks

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 00:07:11 +0000

This is an all to familiar story. My 18 year old to me she was pregnant. Along with all the other emotions, I am scared. Scared to know what will happen after the baby comes. Right now, we are looking at an April baby. I am worried about this insurance. We are blessed with great insurance that will cover her and the pregnancy, but will not cover the baby when it comes unless we (my husband and me) file for guardianship. Does anyone know how to have your grandchild on your insurance without having guardianship?I really don’t want to take responsibility for this child unless the parents are caring for him/her.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 01:42:18 +0000

Just found out this week that my 16 year old daughter is pregnant. The guy that got her pregnant will be 21 the end of this month and it sickens me that there is absolutely nothing I can do legally to this predator. I have been fighting this “relationship” for 2 years now and even took out no trespassing papers to keep him away from my home. He tried promising me the sun, moon and stars and telling me he only wants the best for her and would never hurt her. I told him to stay away, he is too old for her and she doesn’t need to wreck her future by being with someone that preys on high school girls because he’s too immature for someone his own age. Well to my surprise, she has been with him all this time and feeding me lies the whole time. She refuses to break it off with him and now she is telling me how things are going to go. I talked to an officer that informed me that with her still being a minor, I can seek custody while she is still pregnant and there is nothing he can do about it. I am definitely considering it so that I can ensure she finishes school and limit his influence over her. She told me today that he is furious that I’m looking into it. Who cares what he wants or thinks??? I am worried to death about my child and the future of my grandchild and I will not have that innocent baby being dragged all over the place while they are still trying to wild and carefree. She is working and about to start her junior year in high school. He just got a job and still lives with his parents (didn’t finish school). Neither of them have a car or their drivers license. What if the baby gets sick and needs medical attention??? They are both being selfish and irresponsible. I talked to his mother and she just said “keep me informed”. Really???? Thanks for sharing your stories and making me feel not soooo alone. Thanks too for a place to vent!!!

By: Patty

Patty — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 01:39:53 +0000

I am watching 3 generations of unwed, teenaged mothers handle the situation of the 3rd generation getting pregnant.

The odds are 40 in 1,000? Or, is this in the genes?

By: Christy

Christy — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 03:53:51 +0000

What a relief to find others in the same situation. Sorry that you find yourselves here, but I am glad for the company. Where to begin….
My daughter graduated from high school the day she turned 17 (a year early). The week after she graduated, she took and passed her state boards, and is now a licensed certified nurse assistant. She was raised in church. We have a loving, extended family, and are blessed to have a comfortable, middle class lifestyle. She has a generous heart. And, a month after turning 17, told me she is pregnant. Surprised was not the word. Shocked, flabbergasted, appalled….closer. This is my baby. She has not “dated,” and her contact with boys has been supervised by myself or the boy’s parents. So I thought. She is living in some fairy land-she thought that out of nowhere, the child that told me she was waiting for marriage, the child that I constantly talked to about the difficulties of teen parenthood, and how sex could wait, that she would tell me she was pregnant, we would hug, and the world would go on as before. Not. I agree with the other moms who liken it to the grief process. I took her to the ob. Saw the baby’s heartbeat-it looked like a blinking Christmas tree light. Ok. Dealing with the baby part better now-its not an inconvenience, not just mess, but a person who needs to be cared for. Ok. got that. But geez….he is not much of a catch. 16 1/2, already been in continuation school for a year. No education-he spells the word up “uhp” for heaven’s sake!! No education, no goals. But for now, he wants to be in the baby’s life. I wish he would disappear. My daughter is now counting the days until she is 18, and can move in with prince charming, his parents, and his 4 siblings-in a very small, very run down apartment. I have to have help to communicate with his parents, as they do not speak English. But the biggest issue I struggle with is the lying. About where she was going, who she was going with , what she did there. She will stick by that lie even in front of a firing squad. I have no trust for her right now. Lots of love, but no trust. She says this means I am not supportive of her, because I don’t trust her now and won’t let her run amok with him. How do I deal with the lies? It is like she is 2 different people-the lovely girl her family knows, and this swearing, sexually active liar that I don’t even know.

By: Aurelia

Aurelia — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 12:56:53 +0000

Hi and thanks for posting here and sharing with is. Is your SD still at home with you and your husband? Is there any way that the 3 of you can attend some type of Family counseling to help everyone (especially her) through this time? It really is nearly impossible to parent an incorrigible child but there are ways to help that child take more responsibility for their actions. Its hard, but it can be done.

P.S. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter that can be found at the top left hand corner of the website

By: Jenn

Jenn — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:47:27 +0000

My 16 yr old stepdaughter has informed us she is 5 weeks pregnant. She is the result of a teen pregnancy, and one in which her mother abandoned as soon as possible. My husband and I have struggled with my sd for 8 years, lots of counseling for emotional issues. Two weeks prior to this, she tried to move out of our home (for the 4th time) because we wouldn’t allow her to go to a party all night. My husband and I are really trying to wrap our heads around how to handle this. We understand we have a duty to help her, but to what extent? She has trouble accepting responsibility for her actions and has proved almost impossible to discipline in recent years. I worry she will not expect any changes in her life and continue acting the way she has the last few years, especially after the baby is here. We are at a loss. Is this familiar to anyone? How do you parent an incorrigible teen?

By: melissa

melissa — Tue, 31 May 2011 17:15:25 +0000

well my story sounds a lot like all of your stories…my daughter is 17 and pregnant she held it from me for 4 months she is due this oct. i got the news right before mothers day….and right before my birthday i got the news she wants to move in with him and his parents….i’m against her moving in with him and his parents but i feel completely helpless and know she is going to do it anyway. She’s very smart and a very beautiful girl and i just knew that the ass she has been with for 2yrs was going to do this…i feel he did this on purpose because i’m very strict with her. i just wanted her to finish school….is that so much to ask? i don’t know if i want to be happy or sad. all i know is that my parents aren’t being very supportive at all and my mother is not speaking to her. there isn’t much i can do about that situation since the ass got into it with my father and they were going to fight….he’s such an ass….and now (my parents live with me) they don’t want him here and my daughter spends all of her time over there….i’m afraid of missing out on the most important time in her life……sadly a mother torn apart