Parenting a Pregnant Teen
Finding out that you have a pregnant teenager can seem like earth-shattering news. According to recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) the number of teen pregnancies are falling to 40.4 births per 1,000 women aged 15-19 years.
While those statistics are good news, they don’t really mean much to a family who is facing a teen pregnancy. Suffice it to say, hearing that you have a pregnant teenager will likely came as a shock to everyone. Allow yourself and your teen to experience the shock – briefly, and then accept the reality of the situation. You may be upset, furious, disappointed, hurt, scared and experiencing a whole gamut of emotions. That is not going to change the facts.
Both of you should take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. You do not need to figure it all out the moment two lines showed up on the pregnancy test. Whether she agrees to keep the baby or seek adoption, your immediate concern should be for the baby. The health of the mom and baby should be paramount; get to a doctor or clinic. Help your daughter ensure she’s eating well, getting exercise and eliminating any vices (smoking, drinking or drugs). Remember, being mad isn’t going to help anyone. Your teen cannot un-ring the bell. What she needs now is support.
You are not on your own. Each community has programs and resources available. If you don’t know where to start, call your doctor or United Way. They can point you in the right direction to find education classes and counseling resources.
You may want to make an appointment with an adoption agency, just to talk. Whether your pregnant teenager is feeling secure in her decision to keep or not keep the baby or is totally at a loss what to do, talking with an adoption agency may help in the decision process.
Encourage your pregnant teenager to start reading. There are a number of great books, including the “What to Expect” series. Also, if you still haven’t accepted that you’re going to be a grandma, now is a good time to work on that!
While you are the mother to your daughter; you will be the grandmother to the baby. That means you need to allow your daughter to be the mother. You can encourage and support her, however unless you want to drive a bigger wedge between the two of you, step back and allow her the responsibility to parent the baby!
Some grandparents-to-be tend to confuse accepting with condoning. I’m certain if you had it your way you would wish you didn’t have to deal with a teen pregnancy. However, the fact is, you can’t click your heels and wish it away. It is a fair bet that your teen already knows you don’t condone it. It is what it is, so embrace it and make the best of it.
Babies are a beautiful blessing; a gift. The road to teen pregnancy is not an easy one. Babies (teens) raising babies isn’t easy and neither is the selfless act of giving a baby up for adoption.
Years ago when I was in a parent education class, prior to giving birth to my first child, I remember the wise words of the educator. She said “Children will bring you the most joy you have ever experienced in your life. They will also cause you the most pain you could ever experience too.” Another way to put it is that you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain!
Also visit Raising a Teenager for more information on the parent – teen relationship.
Hi. I just found out 3 days ago that my 16 yr old daughter is pregnant. When I tell you that we have had the “be smart and don’t get pregnant” conversation on a daily basis, I am not exagerating. She was the last person in the world I thought would do this. From videos to conversations to a vow of purity in church. I am a single mom myself and had her outside of marriage at 21. I always assumed she was just smart and close enough to me that she wouldn’t dare. She is a very good actress with her stories and manipulation and has always been self-centered. I just never thought she would go to the extreme of even taking a chance. Even up to the day she told me she was pregnant, she was telling me that she was still waiting until she was married to have sex. This has devastated me. I wasn’t done raising my daughter and she is very immature. Doesn’t even have a driver’s license and has never had a job. Is homeschooling for education. It is nice to read that others are going through something so similar. It’s only been 3 days and I am going through a multitude of emotions like you do when there is a death in the family or something. They say “this too shall pass”. I will be glad when I get to that.
1Hi Jen,
2We all understand how you are feeling we all have been there. My daughter is pregnant and she is also 16. Though we all have had the sex talk with our daughters we still find ourselves in this situation.
You were young when you had your daughter and you hoped for better for her. Well she made a mistake, she is young and probably scared but doesnt show it. All you can do is be supportive and teach her along the way.
The sad part is that these girls do not know how hard it is going to be, they realize how much of there lives they must sacrifice to raise these babies.
My daughter is immature and suffers from mental health issues , so this experience is extremely difficult for all of us. She is no longer on her meds , but due to the hormones of pregnancy she seems to be doing well.
She is entering her 4th month and we find out next month the sex of the baby .
The fears you have dont subside completely , but you do begin to exect the situation and actually look forward to it. I am constantly in fear , because she is 16 and at times wants to act like a 16 year old but in her condition she cant.
You will survive this believe me. good luck to you and your daughter and come back to the site anytime to vent we all need support and no one understands more than the woman on this site.
Hold on tight it is going to be a bumpy ride but in the end you will have a beautiful grandchild in your life , and one day you will wonder how you went so long without this little person in your life.
that is what keeps me going , i hope i have helped alittle.
stay strong
Hi Kim,
Thanks so much for your answer. My daughter has also been a longtime sufferer of mental disorder. This is why she had to be pulled out of school. (Another trait of mine she inherited). It has always been just she and I and our relationship has been like hearts connected. However I have been finding in the last 2 years or so that I don’t know this person at all. Still had hopes and dreams and they are going by the wayside. Unfortunately, her father’s side of the family (where she is right now while I get a grip on this situation) is very “loose” about rules and what is right and wrong. There is a cousin that live there that just had a baby and are 17 & 18 and I think no matter what I’ve said to her, she looks at it as glamorous or a way to escape my constant lecturing about right and wrong. She just wants what she wants but will lie to me to make me believe she is living the way I think she should. I am on day 4 of crying now and I swear I feel like I will never stop. I am no where close to accepting a grandchild yet but I am so glad to have an outlet here. There are no support groups for this in my town and I am not ready to tell family, church, etc. Thanks again so much!!!
3Hello all,
I’ve just found out my 18 year old is Pregnant…and I’m scared to death…reading the posts have somewhat helped me..knowing I’m not alone is a comfort. While I have no concerns with my daughter, I know she’ll make a great mother…I would like to know how your husbands or partners reacted. I’m scared to tell mine. He’s her step-dad and loves her to no end. Here’s the kicker…the man and I use the term loosely who got my daughter preggers is 27! I want to scream, and ask him exactly what the hell was he thinking? I’ve found out since he’s gotten 2 other girls pregnant (both aborted). I feel like he’s used my daughter and do to her age as we all know “everything is romantic” at 18. Not only do I have her step father to tell…but also her real father, who’s very much a part of her life. I’m so scared that there are just going to freak out and smack his guy…and as much as I would honestly love to do just that…I realize that he is the baby’s father and wether I like it or not I need to have a relationship with him so I may continue to have my daughter in my life. I have already told her that she’s not moving in with him, getting married or any other foolish thing that comes along with this. So far she’s agreed to everything I’ve said…thankfully….but I’m terrified more of my husband and ex-husbands reactions….any help? I personally think my daughter should just tell my husband…alone…without him here…help..any suggestions?
4Update #55
Hello all,
Well I couldn’t take it anymore….my daughter and I both felt as if we were lying to her step-dad and just before she got home last night I sat him down and told him we had to talk. The first thing he said to me was “your hands are sweating, this must be big” I told him and he put his head down and said ” oh thank god, I thought you were going to tell me your illness had gotten worse!, New life in the house will be wonderful”….needless to say I almost fainted! She came in moments later and he went to her, hugged her and said “don’t ever hide anything from me, you never need to” and with that he put her in a fun loving head lock and said “what the hell have we taught you about birth control?” and laughed. So it went well with him, she has his complete support…I”m more than thrilled. But now we have to tell her real father…but you know what…one of you said “To get a rainbow you need alittle rain” and thanks for that…that is what gave me the courage to face this head on.
I’ve been pretty ill for the last 10 years and this just gives me reason to keep on going.
Thanks again for all your stories and hearts. All the best to you and your little ones.
5Melody,
6That is awesome! You and your daughter are so blessed to have your hubby in your life…that love and support. As a mom of young adults and teens, as well as a youth leader, more of our teens need to know they have that kind of love and support from their family, especially their parents. Keep us posted as her pregnancy develops and especially when the baby is born!
I am so glad I googled my “My teen is pregnant” she just turned 14, and has a baby on the way, though this is still very awkward to me we are coping. has anyone experience the otherside of the family being there and overwhelmingly supportive. I am still taking it all in. but you are right, this is not about me.. Thanks again
7To all,
I stumbled across this dialogue quite by accident. It seems that it isn’t as easy to find information about parenting a teenage mother as you would think it would be and like many of you I have found myself feeling very alone in this experience even with the support of friends and family.
My daughter was far from being the worst a kid can be, but she did make life quite difficult for most of her teen years. She suffered from depression, was diagnosed as bipolar (I’m still not entirely sure about this)… there were suicide attempts, lying, cutting school for extended periods of time (got me in big trouble with the school district and some nice threats from the DAs office), she threatened to run away, threatened to drop out of school…. failed most of her high school years… dated two boys who were over 18, and experimented with smoking drinking and pot… Counseling and psychiatry bills, medications… all very expensive. And all very stressful. To say the least she taxed me almost to my limit and left me feeling basically worn out, health wise, mentally, emotionally, and financially. I am surprised I even have a job after all we’ve been through and all the time off I had to take…
I’m a 42 year old woman and have always been single. It was so interesting to read your posts and see that my feelings were not quite so unique and I feared. For example, feeling like the world was looking at and blaming me, or assuming that I set a bad example (even though I was actually 25 when I had her.) Sometimes I have strong feelings of guilt like I somehow failed in spite of the fact that I provided a good home, and was the kind of parent who made a point of it to keep an open dialogue about EVERYTHING – sex, birth control, relationships… all of it. And I never gave up on her, even when I was at the end of my rope. We talked about EVERYTHING and yet, she got pregnant anyway. When I see what she is going through sometimes I feel so guilty… like somehow I allowed this to happen to her…
My daughter gave birth six weeks ago. Her boyfriend is VERY involved but even though he is a few years older he is not very mature. (They are mentally and emotionally equal despite their age difference which is why I didn’t take legal action when I found out about him – decided to get to know him and then decide what to do.) His involvement means he is ALWAYS at my house and it’s almost like he lives here… I want my daughter to have his support and to nurture the relationship between my granddaughter and her father, but this is NOT a situation I EVER thought I’d be in or would have approved of for my underage daughter. I am quite smitten with my granddaughter. Being a grandparent is every bit as wonderful as people have always said it would be. But I have run into lots of issues and questions as to what my role is in this. The pregnancy seemed to clear up all of my daughter’s behavioral issues. She began working VERY hard in school and is nearly caught up… she has the goal of going to college… My daughter is excellent with children and is a good mother, but she is still 17. Occasionally I will feel the need to interject my opinion about something that involves the welfare of the baby… it gets so tricky. I don’t feel like this baby is my responsibility but she is my granddaughter and I will never allow her to suffer just to make a point with her parents about responsibility… In all honesty, the pregnancy was the easy part. Now that the baby is here, is where it gets hard. What is my role? How much do I do? Where do I draw the line while making sure that the baby is safe and supported? How do I adhere to my values AND allow my daughter and her “family” the chance to grow and mature as they will?
8Stacey, thanks for sharing and being so open about your situation. I too am a grandmother, so I can relate there. I also have a son who is 24, an addict, and he and his pregnant girlfriend live with us. She is 20. Though they are not teenagers, I understand your situation. I’ve already begun wondering what my role is and will be once the baby is here. My son is working full time in a restaurant and she is currently collecting unemployment. They have no means to support a baby…heck they can’t support themselves. I’ve offered to help them out as best we can (like letting them live here for very cheap, etc.) But, once the baby is here, how much say will I have? Will I be allowed to step in when I see a better way, or should I just allow them to make the same mistakes I did? (I had my first baby at 19, was not married).
I think it’s okay, and wise, to offer our suggestions, but to word it in a way so they know they are only suggestions. Try saying “When Susie was a newborn, I used this particular product” or “here’s what worked when Billy was a baby, you could give it a try”.
Remember, not all babies are the same, as I’m sure you know, and they all have different issues (i.e. skin and food sensitivities, temperments and personalities), so every situation won’t be the same.
Plus, now they have so many different products out there for babies that didn’t exist when my kids were little…it amazes me! How did we ever breastfeed our kids without a boppie pillow? LOL. Oh, and don’t even get me going on epidurals!!!
Anyway, just being there for you daughter and granddaughter is the most important thing you can do. Feel your way around to see how your daughter responds to your instruction and suggestions. Obviously if she is doing something horribly wrong, step in immediately, but overall, if she’s not doing things exactly how you would, it’s okay.
9I came across these postings trying to find some help….some type of support. I have read the majority of the comments and though I understand, this is still extremely difficult for me and my situation seems to be slightly different. My daughter, who just turned 16 is 7 months pregnant and we only found out 2 months ago. To add to it, I just recently had a baby myself and I have no family or friends in the new city we live if (my husbands job transferred him about 2 years ago across the country).
Emotionally, financially and physically, I can not help her raise this baby. I am struggling with my own infant and cant imagine having two in the house. We have a relative (that is on the west coast, a few hours from where we live) that is willing to raise the baby until my daughter is ready. She can visit the baby as often as possible and can even go and live with them if she is finding the separation difficult.
I am extremely grateful for this offer, but feel awful that I cant help my daugther raiser her child. I also find it hard to be emotionally supportive for my daughter. You would think I would be the most helpful person for her since I just went thru the whole pregnancy thing, but it disgusts me to look at her. I am ashamed of my thoughts but I cant help it. That is why I have been searching for some type of support/help because I know my daughter needs me right now.
I am sure you are thinking that the move, my newest baby and new husband may have attributed to my daughters pregnancy, and you may be right. But she adjusted extremely well to the move and has more friends than I ever did! She makes straight A’s in school and she has a older sister that is doing well also. My husband and kids have always had a good relationship. Of course he was upset about the pregnancy, but manages to treat her no differently.
The baby will be here shortly and I just want to start getting on with our new life the best way possible but I cant shake my own feelings. People that I know that have gone thru similar situations tell me that ” once your grandbaby gets here you will feel different”. I want to scream ” I dont want a grandbaby! I just want my daughter back!”
I would appreciate some honest advice. I dont know if I am just a mean mom or maybe I am going thru post partum depression??
10What an honest post!! Your feelings aren’t WRONG – this is a huge adjustment for you, your daughter and your entire household right now. It takes time to adjust to it but yes, your daughter does need you and while she is pregnant, it may be hard to realize that she is still a young girl and needs her mommy too. Perhaps meeting with someone that can sit down with the both of you can help to mend the relationship. Also since you just had a baby — I am sure that your emotions are already heightened so I cant imagine how hard this timing is for you.
1st bit of advice is to stop beating yourself up! Forgive yourself for your feelings and just try to move farward to help your daughter the best way you can for what will be a long journey for her.
God Bless you and the family
11I think that all of you mom’s are truly courageous. I myself just went through this same ordeal with my 14 year old, one week past her 13th birthday, she woke up with excruciating back and lower abdominal pain. I took her to the ER, and if many test and xrays, the young female doctor asked me to step out, so she could ask my daughter some personal questions. I agreed and upon my return, the look on everyone in the rooms face immediately gave it a way. The doctor told me my baby was gonna have a baby. I was devastated. She denied ever having any sexual relations to her father and I, even today. Well the story behind the pain, she was in the middle of miscarrying. I leave the door open for her to talk to me, but she doesn’t. I am so afraid that she will get pregnant again, my nerves are a wreck, every time I look at her I’m wondering what’s really going on, I scan her body looking for signs. I never knew that things would come to this. But, after reading your comments I see that if this does occur it isn’t the end of the world for me or for her. By the way, because of her lies about ever having sex, I refused to put her on birth control, because I believe that kids think they are totally protected and have free will to do anything after they go on birth control. So I leave it to her decision making and pray that she makes th right choice.
12OK. I understand all of what you have written. I am not shocked by negative opinions, just glad you are honest about them. I’m older than most of you and the apple of my eye is pregnant. She is an honor student who was about to slide out of this relationship when his Dad died. She felt maternal and was all about “saving” him. A month and a half later, surprise, they used the old withdrawal method and it didn’t work.
13My husband and I figured it out and I confronted her. She was all about getting rid of the pregnancy. I urged her to slow down. Now she wants to keep it, and her dad and I are saying OMG what are we in for now? We are precarious financially because of help we’ve given older sibs. Now we will never be secure.
I am scared. I am conflicted. I love her dearly and haven’t expressed much negativity because she has it hard enough. But I am truly wondering how we will all survive this, financially. And will she be able to go to college? She is due in August.
She had high hopes of going away to school, traveling, etc.
I am willing to help, but do not want the 24/7 thing again.
And I wonder if I influenced her too much by asking her to think carefully before making an irrevocable decision.
I had first written last April, after just finding out that our then 17 yr old was pregnant. She had a pretty uneventful pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby boy in Oct. For the entire time of her pregnancy, the “wonderful” father of the baby could not hold a job…he bought not one item for the baby…instead expected my daughter to drive him wherever he needed to go (with us paying for the gas). We went to great lengths to include him, tried to help him…but he only expected more. He totaled our daughter’s car the first time he drove it..what a nightmare! We willingly supported her, buying whatever she and the baby needed. She promptly moved out on her 18th birthday, which was in Dec…to move in with him at his Grandparents…b/c of course he had no place of his own! They were kicked out of there after about 3 weeks, and have since been living wherever they can find a place to go. It sickens and saddens me, but it’s the consequences of her actions. We keep the baby (usually at least once a week) so that we will know if he’s being taken care of. We still love our daughter and precious grandbaby very much. Tough love is truly hard…especially when it keeps our 2 younger children still at home in turmoil. Sadly, our house was so peaceful once she left…I had not realized how much turmoil she and the boyfriend kept us in. Oh, and I forgot to say that the boyfriend slapped her (in our house) the week before she left with him…he tried to cut his wrist and we had to call the police! And she still went with him!
14I certainly don’t have any answers for other parents of pregnant teens. We relied on friends and our pastor for guidance. Every day was a new day,and still is. It wasn’t all bad, but more bad than good. Trust is a HUGE issue, obviously….they tell different stories to different people, depending on their needs. It’s kind of like detaching emotionally….for us to survive….which is sad. But our focus now has to be on our two children who are left at home.
We found out last week that our 17 year old daughter is pregnant. It has been a week of adjustment in our hopes and dreams for her life. Those who describe the emotions as similar to the mourning stages are right on. And just when you think you are dealing with it in your heart, a setback can happen in a second with just a stray thought. I am comforted to hear all the testimonies of other parents going through this process. I think we all want the same thing for our daughters….for them to lead a well balanced, productive life and be able to positively parent our grandchildren. It’s hard to imagine how my daughter will get there at this point, but I know God has a plan for her future and though she has chosen the difficult road, He will see us all through this time of trial. Her 17 year old boyfriend is a good kid and very supportive of her. I only pray that they can both make the right decisions that will give their child the best life possible, so, we offer love and support even in the midst of pain and try to help them in the right direction for their futures.
15I have read all of your stories so far and am glad for a place to talk. Two years ago my mother passed away and she and my daughter were very close. I am a single mom and my mother was my partner. My daughter has had two boyfriends. I did not even want her to date, ha ha. She is 16 and I really thought she was smarter than that, I mean she has watched me struggle and I had her when I was 25. But she thinks she is in love! She got pregnant 7 months ago, I was furious!! I really do not like her boyfriend and I feel like he influenced her. Anyway, she had an abortion. I think I forced her to make that decision. I tried to reasin with her and in the end she agreed it would be too hard, she is very immature for her age. She gets hysterical at the sight of blood or throwing up. She never picks up after herself, she fights with me to even do a chore! Her bedroom is a pigsty no matter how often I ask her to clean it! Well I allowed her to keep seeong the boy , big mistake, and I talked to her about birth control but she said she would never have sex again till she got married. I beleived her. I knew her period was due this week as I have been keeping up with it. Well she had only used 2 pads out of the package and I got suspicious. She confirmed my worst fear she is now pregnant again! I feel numb! I hate her boyfriend, he is lazy and disrespectful to his parents! He is very controlling and very jealous! I want to kill him, not really but the thought can’t help but come into my head! I do not think another abortion would be a good idea. She was careless to make this decison. But since she did I feel like she has to deal with the reality of it. I want to keep her away from this boyfriend, I think he did it on purpose! She says she loves him and he is going to support her and the baby, he is 16 also. They have no clue!! I want to be there for her but I do not want to fight about this boy either, just pushes her closer to him. I don’t know what to do!! I have another daughter who is only 9 and this is going to affect her too. Any advice would be appreciated or just someone to talk to. I wish I would have forced the pill on her. I feel so stupid and helpless!!
16My 17 year old daughter is 25 weeks along. I am going back and forth in my emotions. First, I can’t believe this is happening. My Christian school “good girl” is pregnant. I keep thinking that people are thinking “thank God that isn’t MY daughter!” This is her first boyfriend. I spoke to her regularly about birth control. Constantly asked her if she needed it. I am also hurt that she didn’t turn to me for birth control. I didn’t have the kind of relationship with my parents where I could talk to them honestly about anything. I had an abortion @ 16 as a result. My husband and I were just beginning to get our financial lives together and now we will be supporting this situation. I know that babies are a blessing and that I will love this little girl (Chloe).
17Great site and thanx for the post
18A plea for you to think about the ethics of buying maternity clothing. Really, if people are going to bring a baby in this world, it’s only right to ensure the world remains in a good state! Therefore do try and consider, for example, the cloth your clothes are made from, the human rights of the factories where they’re made and the green credentials of the clothes retailer. And endeavour to share, rather than discarding. Thanks!!!!
19Loved your analysis of this interesting idea. Saved and return for more good reading.
20My tears are falling as I read all the comments. I feel all your pain as I too learned our 16 yr old was already almost 6 months pregnant before the teacher called us with the devastating news. Where is the manual for dealing with this? We had swiftly dealt with the obvious needs — medical, nutrition, counseling, etc. looking for all that is available to her and to us. After 42 days I am still feeling raw emotionally. The rest of the family including her seem to have dealt with it and have moved on. What’s wrong with me? I too am waiting for the time when the wound heals. I have poured everything into helping her deal with this, I think I need my turn.
21I feel for you all but as a grandmother to a beautiful 9-month old grandson, and parent to his 17-year old mom, I can tell you I wouldn’t trade this baby boy for anything in the world.
It is so devastating to watch their dreams and aspirations change, and yes they do. They have such grandiose ideas of how they are going to make every ambition come true, and then the baby comes and it is alot more than they expected. It’s not that it cannot be done, but they cannot fathom undertaking it all and doing it successfully.
The last nine months have been a Godsend in regards to Brayden. He is the most happy, inspirational and enjoyable part of my daily life – his mom, however is another story.
Our biggest challenge is the constant struggle between parenting a teen and allowing your teen to be a parent. I wish there was more information out there on how to let go, when to let go and how to handle the emotional stress of us when we let them both go. So if anyone has any insight or places to look for this, I am all ears.
22Thanks for your input Brenda! I think it’s different for every teen, knowing how and when to let go as a parent. And yes, it is a struggle parenting a teen while allowing your teen to be a parent. But I think since they made this decision to be a parent, I think then they should be ready to take on the responsibility of the being an adult as well. Yes, it will be tough, especially if they’re going to school and working. And yes, it usually makes them grow up real fast, but then again, hopefully it will make them make good decisions in the future and think about the consequences, before they make big decisions.
23I just found out my 15 year old daughter is pregnant. The father has cheated on her in the past and at 17 is about to join the navy. I do not want them together but I don’t want to deny my grandchild of knowing his/her father.
24I am so worried about my babygirl, but I am also worried about her younger sister and older brother.
Will this tear our family apart?
I have seen a ton of future grand mothers. I would like to give a point of view from a step father who has been treated like crap by my step child for years. She was always and “A” student and still is. She has done drugs, drank, had some sexual encounters, got pregnant and all this while at the ripe old age of 16. So now I have a disrespectful, lazy, pregnant 16 year old. Her last 3 boyfriends were in jail for one offense or another and this one had used her for a month before moving on to someone who she thought was a friend. Here is my take:
I will not have any financial or emotional attachment to her child. What the state can’t help her pay for she better have a friend that is willing. I work hard for my money that I not only spend on her but her brother and my son. I have drawn my line in the sand. She will graduate H.S. 2 months before her 19 birthday so I say to her mother she can stay under my roof until the summer following H.S. graduation then she is out. Not good enough for her mother who wants to continue to baby her, so I said you know what your out too, after having this 16 year relationship that is over too. Of course her father wants nothing to do with it. He is willing to be there for emotional support but not offer his money or house. I jst thoght everyone should hear the other side!
25My husband and I just found out his newly 15 year old is pregnant. She wants to keep the baby, she lives with her mom and 2 other kids. Financially her mom cant support another child. I dont feel comfortable bringing a pregnant teen into my house with my 3 daughters because they look up to their big sister and I feel that will influence them negatively. Am I wrong? I kno Im not ready to raise another child. We both feel that she is too young to have a baby, she doesnt even kno what an abdomen is. The boy and his mom thinks she should keep the baby and why not the baby wont be with them. Her grades have dropped and evrything is total chaos. We tried to avoid this by offering her to move with us before things got out of hand. Now what do we do.
26I am so frustrated and angry. My daughter is around 26 weeks pregnant and is 17 years old. She is completely immature, has refused to have anyone in authority over her, just refuses to follow rules, but in a very passive-aggressive way. I so want her to give her baby up for adoption to a family who could care for the child and take care of it so much better than she can at this point in her life. I also want her to have a chance to grow up and have something resembling normal for the next few years before having a family.
I also can’t help but feel like I am being forced to have a baby myself. I know its not my baby, but I have to take care of my daughter and by extension that means another baby in the house just when I thought I was getting close to being done with raising children. And its so unfair for her younger sister, who is 16 and responsible and mature, to have to deal with this as well. It effects the entire family.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter very much. I’m sure I will love this child, my grandchild, as well. I just don’t want to feel like I am having to raise another child myself. Then I feel selfish and awful for feeling this way. Its so hard. So very hard.
27This is a very long story. When I was 14 my parents got divorced,I chose to live with my mother and grandmother,we did not have alot of money,my Mom had to work 2 jobs to support us and was never home and I did not have a very good relationship with my step dad. I was so lonely and I fell into the wrong crowd,I started drinking and smoking pot. I was looking for love and was easily lured into sleeping with boys as I just wanted somebody to love me. I got pregnant at the age of 17,and was basically forced to have an abortion,I am ashamed of this life,but I can’t go back an change it. My mother would let our boyfriends spend the night at the house. My sister became pregnant at the age of 16. I met my current husband right before I turned 18,we are still happily marriend(thank the Lord) I had our daughter right after turning 21. She is now 18 and due in 1 month. We lived overseas and she was with this boy,they have known ea. other for 2 yrs,but had been dating for 5 months when it was time to relocate back to the states,I knew the move would be hard on her and so we let this young man move in with us,I didn’t want my baby girl to be heartbroken and I believe,as I’m proof myself that even young people can make it work. You might call me a hopeless romantic. Anyway,she had ran out of pills during the move,and I told her no sex,until we could find a Dr. and get her started on birth control again,well of course they didn’t listen and she got pregnant. My comment was you play,you pay. At first I was so angry,that they couldn’t control themselves,but my husband said whats done is done,he’s the calm one. So,she dropped out of her Jr yr of HS and got her GED and he is in the process of enlisting in the military. They both have the support of my husband and his parents. I can’t wait to hold our granddaughter and spoil her rotten. But,I can’t get rid of the guilt I feel,for being somewhat responsible for it. I guess I thought him living with us was okay,since that’s how I was raised,and I didn’t want her to be alone in a new place with no friends and heartbroken,at the same time if they would of controlled themselves she wouldn’t of gotten pregnant in the first place. My husband lived with me,and I didn’t get pregnant. I’m tired of people judging me and don’t know how to deal with this. I know a few grown women that got pregnant at 16&17. I hate feeling like a bad mother. I love our daughter so much and my granddaughter. But sometimes I think what if?
28My story sounds similiar but my daughter got caught in a public place having sex and decided to tell us that she thought that she was pregnant, I was so embarassed, hurt, disgusted, as my daughter knows that people will judge me for not being a good mother, and her for opening her legs to every guy that she gets involved with, no matter how how much I talk to her or try to keep her busy with sports and extra curricular activities, she continues to have sex with every guy she dates, as an RN my 1st thought was to take her to see if she has a disease or is pregnant, but i just had to get out and cool down before i talk to her, i would do anything for all 4 of my kids but that does not seem to matter to them , they would rather be disobedent and defiant, and the 15 and 16 year olds are worse than my 18 year old, i pray alot for them and we pray together but still they are not listening to what i tell them, if i were to stop praying i don’t want to even think of how things might be worse, but i know they would, i guess i can thank God for things not being worse than they are, i pray she is not pregnant, as this will ruin any chance of a scholarship to play basketball in college, a talent she has possessed since she was 8 years old and still plays at age 16, my child gets decent grades and i know she will be successful in whatever she does, but i am afraid that she will give up on her dreams if she is pregnant, what is a mom who has created lots of good opportunities for her kids to do when they mess it up?
29My daughter was 13 when we found out she was pregnant she hid it from us for 3 months because she had all the storys of cps taking kids away from their familys when something like this happens.My daughter,s story is very difficullt she was raped and scared to tell anyone she hid it we found out on her yearly checkup her first words when we found out was she was sorry
30she didn,t mean to she had made herself believe it was her fault.She is now 27 weeks and she just turned 14 she has made her mind up to keep the baby and we are backing her all the way this is a bad situation but as she said the baby is half of her we will be helping her raise it she is still going to school alot of people still call us crazy for keeping the baby but what our daughter thinks matters to us she didnot ask for this to happen to her but it did and know we have baby on the way I wished I could see more familys supporting their daughters not turning their backs and letting outsiders take over that is their child they need to support them.It is hard on us me and her stepdad are unemployed and fighting to keep our bills paid and roof over our head and our car runs when it wants to we will never turn our backs on our child or any of her friends who may have their parents turn their backs on them I praise all of yall who support your childern but I have 1 question why is it the guy,s who get these girls pregnant not talked about like people talk about the girls like it was all their fault and the boy,s did nothing if it wasn,t for man no childern would be here!!
I can relate to so many of these worries and stories. Now into 3rd week of knowing my 16 yr old is pregnant, she is 11 weeks. I am a single parent, divorce not finalized (filed 4 yrs ago). Have a 14 yr old boy at home too. Struggle to make ends meet and am in a small place (1200sqft), 3 bd room and no way of expanding. Had bought two yrs ago so w/ecomony can’t sell for a larger place (or move). SO many questions. Her dad (mean and negative) doesnt yet know. Her older adult brothers and younger brother haven’t been told. None will be supportive. I struggle to work 35 hrs/wk due to own health problems, I’m 47. Baby’s father is worthless, drug user, not going to school (from what I hear his mother has issues – i.e. jail time). what did I do wrong? I provide as much info as I could to keep her moving forward to a bright future including discussions of bc, choosing a caring, supportive man some day. She has good grades but no interest in anything else and doesnt like school, begged to be home schooled but I can’t be home. Openly says she doesn’t like people (or kids or dogs or anything), she’s lazy, selfish, selfabsorbed and short tempered. She HAS to finish school but how do I keep her in school, have her help w/costs and I pray she will have some feelings torwards this child. She will only consider keeping it (“she made the mistake, she’ll take care of it”). I am alone in this, feel lost, confused and scared for her, the baby and myself and son still at home. She’s lied to me many times (not sexually active and to 2 drs who have also had discussion w/her), said she wasn’t seeing this boy anymore, etc). Was almost ALWAYS at home – no real friends made here since move, wouldn’t join any activities, couldn’t get her to go outside w/me for anything except for food or new things for her. Had her on depression meds for a short time, she was more pleasant but found later that’s when deceit started (snuck out in the middle of the night w/police bringing her home – lied where she was heading (said a girlfriends house but it would have been to that boy’s) then caught her smoking pot a few weeks later, her grades dropped to Ds and Fs. She was grounded, took cell, computer, phone access away, didn’t get her drivers temps and got counseling (she showed bad attitude and wouldn’t talk so that was short lived). After many months of improved attitude, working to bring her grades up and a promise she understood he was the wrong type of a person for her, she slowly began earning her priviledges back. The boy in the meantime had to go to a foster home in another school district due to his mother going to jail (yeah, they’ll be of help here – scares the H**L out of me to think they’ll have rights/visitation to the child). Trying counseling again, no help. Daughter says she’s helping now – she’ll do one thing a day (her own laundry or vacuum) but just wants to sleep.
31Grades still good so far. My home is overly crowded and I just don’t know how to make things work. I am raising and paying for my child, love her to death, only want the best for her (and a better life going forward) yet she is immature, and gets to make all the decisions (to keep the child). Told her to get a job – she hasnt. I had my first child at 20, left home and lived and eventually married their father who was of NO help (mean, demanding, eventually abusive and I was afraid to leave for 25 years). I do not want this for her or any of my kids. Can’t seem to find anywhere that can help me figure this out – I don’t know how I can do it all (keep her in school to graduate, continue her education, provide for her child, have the needed room, protect her and the baby, get heath ins for the baby (mine covers her), convince her how difficult the road ahead is going to be and how she must put this baby’s needs before her own, convince her to even care about anything). So many worries, no answers, little hope for the future, scared for her brother still at home (I know her father will rant and rage constantly to him during visitations or will he try to take her brother from me?). He has to be told. Afraid her father will track this boy down and then who knows what? I barely have energy to make it through each day (chronic fatigue syndrome w/sleep apnea – treating for sa with no improvements). I’ve been parenting for 27 years along with severe stress (mostly from their father’s attitude/behavior). Its not about me now, but I HAVE to support and help her and don’t know if I have it in me. I do not know anyone else in this situation (thank god for this website as I now know others are out there somewhere). I wake up at 4 or 5 am crying, heart racing (now on meds for sudden high blood pressure – no surprise there). I’ll keep checking back for hope. I also cannot convince myself to make this easy on her – afraid we’ll be in the same situation next year or the year after. Where do I start? Acceptance of it is what it is is setting in, but the worries are not going anywhere and are mounting. What a mess. Looking back, I don’t believe I could have forced bc useage but since she wasnt dating, running with friends, swore no bf or sexual activity didn’t see the need to pressure. BTW, she left the house after I went to work to see this boy. Didn’t realize that a 16 yr old should have had a babysitter herself.
Lastly, you’re CAPTCHA is fixed and I can comment ever again, I made use of to category in the right letters and it would fail every single time.
32I understand each of these mothers’ emotion. My daughter who at the age of 17, had two babies ( each a year apart), same worthless dad. She has been abused by this boy since before her first pregnancy. We know it, and so does she now. My husband and I have placement of the first baby, and the youngest is being placed for adoption within the family. We love both of these little guys so much, it is hard to consider life without them. Moms, love your daughters! They need our support now, more then ever before.
33I’m looking for any constructive advice. We have a 17 yr. old daughter expecting to deliver 3 1/2 months prior to her 18th birthday. The issue is we do not have the funds to cover her medical expenses and would appreciate any good advice one may offer. The state and county we reside in says she is ineligible for Medicaid because we make over the financial guidelines. My husband works 55 hours at one job plus he has two other part-time jobs (I assist him with all 3 jobs). As you can imagine, there is definitely a lack of sleep in our house because so much effort is spent on paying our debt. We have taken out loans and maxed credit cards just to pay our monthly bills. We live in a very old, fixer-upper house in Appalachia (Ohio, by the West Virginia border) and although its not a great place, it does provide shelter and we keep it clean. We don’t have the luxuries most people enjoy and vacations are spent doing repairs on the house. My daughter’s boyfriend is also 17 and will be at the time of their child’s birth. Legally, we learned that my husband and I are solely responsible for any medical bills relating to her pregnancy. The problem is that if we have to pay for the delivery then we will be forced into bankruptcy and/or lose our house. There is a possibility that if she goes into a pregnancy center then they may be able to get her on Medicaid (though this has not been confirmed) but she is terrified to live so far way without any friends or family. And the pregnancy centers do not allow the parent of the pregnant teen to stay with them at the residence. She could also qualify for assistance if we allow her to move in with her boyfriend. He was raised very differently from how we raised our daughter. He is used to getting his own way on almost everything and does not reside with either of his parents. Many of the minor teens around here move out of their parents homes and stay with friends whose parent(s) allow them to do whatever they want…ie…under-age drinking, drugs, promiscuity, etc… This is the case with her boyfriend. We do not want her to move in with him or his family and friends though we realize this may occur when she turns 18. Currently, our daughter appears to want to stay in our/her home. Our family is trying to keep the pregnancy low-key until she graduates high school this year. She is looking to do a high school virtual learning program for the latter part of the pregnancy then return to her regular high school 2 and a half months before graduation. We are emotionally supportive of her but are not able to be financially supportive of the delivery bill that we know will cost thousands of dollars. It seems she can get assistance if we break-up our family unit but there isn’t any help when we want to get through this together. I am even willing to go with her somewhere so she won’t be alone. Though I do not want to be way from my husband and son, plus I worry that my husband will have a stress-induced heart-attack if I leave and our son would also have to deal with the emotional trauma. If we were illegal aliens, then I know she could get free medical care but we are just hard-working American citizens that are living paycheck to paycheck and do not want to claim bankruptcy. I’ve already called hundreds of hospitals. I can’t find a doctor that will deliver pro bono. She is on prenatal vitamins and has had an ultrasound and bloodwork. How can I get her baby delivered safely without losing our home and claiming bankruptcy. The baby’s father does not have a job and expects us to pay for the medical though he is very excited about having the baby. His family feels the same way and are not willing to help financially. Thank you for any suggestions.
34i got pregnant a couple of months ago and right now i am choosing the right kind of maternity clothes that is comfortable ***
35Fascinating write-up. Thanks for sharing
36Reading these many posts has been like sitting in a room having coffee with people who are just like me. I feel like I’ve been hugged by strangers when I sure did need those hugs. Just found out today my daughter who is barely 16 is pregnant and that she wants to keep the baby and continue to be with her boyfriend (19, history of drug use, history of emotional disturbance, recent several day stay in jail for assault of a kid.) If he drops out of the picture, I’d love that, but I’ve learned the hard way that anytime I try to force a certain situation to be a certain way, the results are never good. So, I will let God & time work that one out. She is a sophomore at the school where I teach. So, she’s not just going to some pregnant girl at school; she’s going to be that pregnant girl who’s also Mrs. P’s daughter! I almost wish they’d put it on the morning announcements so she & I can just work through it all in one day, but of course that won’t happen.
37I was initially SHOCKED. The kind of shock that makes you shake and cry and run and hide. After that very bad physical experience, I started to get into some acceptance. Oddly, I have not struggled at all with WHAT to do, but rather how to wrap my head around it. It has just seemed the only logical solution to her and to me that we have the baby and keep the baby and they live here until my daughter is ready to live on her own with the baby, whether there is a man included in that scene. I don’t want her to get married until she’s in her 20′s.
What happened is that it’s happened and I now must be a mother to her, and to this baby. I have a 3 year old and the new baby will be in the same elementary school at the same time as my baby. You’re not supposed to be able to waive hi to your aunt in the hall at grade school!!!!
I basically believe that God has been carrying me through life for 39 years and He’s not about to plunk me down on my behind now. He is the author of all life and he will handle this — I only have to be willing to be open to it.
I feel ashamed and fearful and like a failure as a mother. Did I give her too much freedom? Should I have put her on the pill? She wasn’t willing to get a pelvic exam when I took her to the doctor the first time. Now her first pelvic exam will be at her first OB visit. This is all so raw. It helps just to write; thank you.
Thank you each for sharing your stories; each one is a comfort.
I would like to offer some light at the end of the tunnel for all those expecting grandparents on this site. I started reading this site when my daughter became pregnant. It was comforting and theraputic to hear other’s stories. Our daughter got pregnant at 18. Fortunately she had finished highschool but still extremely inmature. She had a part-time job just making spending money and not interested in getting a higher education. She was ” in love” with a loser. She got pregnant and I knew she wasn’t ready for the responsibilty and against every moral fiber in me made her get an abortion against her will. Then 4 months later she was pregnant again by the same boy despite her access to birth control. This time I knew it was out of my hands and I backed off but still had every emotion discribed by everyone here. She had the baby, a boy who is now 11 months old and is the light of our day. She still lives at home with us her brother 17 and sister 15 me and my husband. She has come along way ..she is working fultime waitressing , signed up for medicad (which she quailfied for) and takes care of all expenses for the baby. We help her alot I take care of the baby while she works since I was laid off but she takes care of him when she’s home. Her father and I still have to be tough parents on her or she would take advantage of our help in a heartbeat. I make her pay for everything even though we could help her more but I know that would do more harm than good. I’m starting to see signs of maturity. She still hangs on however to a small hope that the sorry dad will own up but I think she’s starting to get the picture. He’s seen the baby maybe a total of 15 hours in 11 months and gave her $60. So I believe God knows what he’s doing and maybe things turn out ok. Our grandson is so so special to us and we all love him so much . So everyone hold on to hope and pray things do get better…not perfect but better.
38My 19 teen yr old son just told us last week that his girlfriend is expecting. We are trying very hard to be supportive. I’m scared to death for them. My son has graduated and the girl is still in school, a junior. Her mother and us, told them we will support them but she must finish school. The plan is going to be for them to stay in our home for a couple of weeks at a time and at her moms a couple of weeks and attempt to raise the baby together. We are going to fix up an area in our basement for them to live in when they are here. Kinda like an apartment. At her house there is an extra bedroom that’s going to be made into a nursery. Our 2 families are trying to work together through this. I’m trying to be supportive but I must admit I’m on an emotional roller coaster. Tears & anger. I want to be there for them but other times I just want to scream. I’ve always been very open and honest about birth control etc. While trying not to promote having sex but all the while saying if you do, protect yourself. How in the world did I go so wrong with this? I am proud that my son wants to help raise this baby and that he came to us right away and told us but this is still not easy. I do want to add that we are blessed because he does have a full time job with good insurance but dang it he is only 19 and she is soon to be 17. Sorry for the rant and me rambling. I’m just needing to vent. We do not want them to get married anytime soon. They are going to need everyones help/support through this situation. If anyone has suggestions for this situation jump in!!
39my 16 daughter is pregnant, the baby is bi-racial and my husband , her stepdad is not in acceptance of that. basically, i am looking at divorce. although i am not happy with my daughters choices, i will love & support her through this trying but special time. its sucks having the stress of a possible divorce because of my husbands selfish, judgemental ways. i need prayers and support…………………any advice?
40Lisa – what a hard situation for the entire family! I connent you for continuing to suport your daughter through this time. When teens become pregnant and the support they may receive from their parents is precious.
Would your husband be open to the idea of family therapy/counseling? – I will keep your family in my thoughts. Are you a member of a place of worship?
41YES, I AM A MEMBER OF A MOST PRECIOUS CHURCH!!! tHANK gOODNESS. THAT WILL GET US THROUGH. AND HOPEFULLY MY HUSBAND WILL COME AROUND. i AM STRESSING BUT YET PREPARING MYSELF FOR THIS BUMPY ROAD AHEAD! lIFE IS GOOD!!! tHANKS FOR YOUR KIND WORDS.
42Lisa 92#, I will be praying for you. I know that it is hard to hear that your 16 year old is going to be a mother.
I will pray that your husband will accept it. It is hard to hear that you daughter is having a baby but bi racial. One thing i have learned is that you don’t get chose who your parents will be or what color they will be.
I am black my daughter got pregnant at 15 years old. I had to put it in God’s hands because this was too big for me. The baby is 15 months and we love her a lot. But I am letting the mother be the mother. But I have to admitt that there was some very, very hard times. Most with me accepting it.
You are going to need a lot of support with all of this. You can only take one day at a time. I feel that there should be a support group Parenting Pregnant Teens. We can make it there are a lot of programs for pregnant teens.
43well my story sounds a lot like all of your stories…my daughter is 17 and pregnant she held it from me for 4 months she is due this oct. i got the news right before mothers day….and right before my birthday i got the news she wants to move in with him and his parents….i’m against her moving in with him and his parents but i feel completely helpless and know she is going to do it anyway. She’s very smart and a very beautiful girl and i just knew that the ass she has been with for 2yrs was going to do this…i feel he did this on purpose because i’m very strict with her. i just wanted her to finish school….is that so much to ask? i don’t know if i want to be happy or sad. all i know is that my parents aren’t being very supportive at all and my mother is not speaking to her. there isn’t much i can do about that situation since the ass got into it with my father and they were going to fight….he’s such an ass….and now (my parents live with me) they don’t want him here and my daughter spends all of her time over there….i’m afraid of missing out on the most important time in her life……sadly a mother torn apart
44My 16 yr old stepdaughter has informed us she is 5 weeks pregnant. She is the result of a teen pregnancy, and one in which her mother abandoned as soon as possible. My husband and I have struggled with my sd for 8 years, lots of counseling for emotional issues. Two weeks prior to this, she tried to move out of our home (for the 4th time) because we wouldn’t allow her to go to a party all night. My husband and I are really trying to wrap our heads around how to handle this. We understand we have a duty to help her, but to what extent? She has trouble accepting responsibility for her actions and has proved almost impossible to discipline in recent years. I worry she will not expect any changes in her life and continue acting the way she has the last few years, especially after the baby is here. We are at a loss. Is this familiar to anyone? How do you parent an incorrigible teen?
45Hi and thanks for posting here and sharing with is. Is your SD still at home with you and your husband? Is there any way that the 3 of you can attend some type of Family counseling to help everyone (especially her) through this time? It really is nearly impossible to parent an incorrigible child but there are ways to help that child take more responsibility for their actions. Its hard, but it can be done.
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46What a relief to find others in the same situation. Sorry that you find yourselves here, but I am glad for the company. Where to begin….
47My daughter graduated from high school the day she turned 17 (a year early). The week after she graduated, she took and passed her state boards, and is now a licensed certified nurse assistant. She was raised in church. We have a loving, extended family, and are blessed to have a comfortable, middle class lifestyle. She has a generous heart. And, a month after turning 17, told me she is pregnant. Surprised was not the word. Shocked, flabbergasted, appalled….closer. This is my baby. She has not “dated,” and her contact with boys has been supervised by myself or the boy’s parents. So I thought. She is living in some fairy land-she thought that out of nowhere, the child that told me she was waiting for marriage, the child that I constantly talked to about the difficulties of teen parenthood, and how sex could wait, that she would tell me she was pregnant, we would hug, and the world would go on as before. Not. I agree with the other moms who liken it to the grief process. I took her to the ob. Saw the baby’s heartbeat-it looked like a blinking Christmas tree light. Ok. Dealing with the baby part better now-its not an inconvenience, not just mess, but a person who needs to be cared for. Ok. got that. But geez….he is not much of a catch. 16 1/2, already been in continuation school for a year. No education-he spells the word up “uhp” for heaven’s sake!! No education, no goals. But for now, he wants to be in the baby’s life. I wish he would disappear. My daughter is now counting the days until she is 18, and can move in with prince charming, his parents, and his 4 siblings-in a very small, very run down apartment. I have to have help to communicate with his parents, as they do not speak English. But the biggest issue I struggle with is the lying. About where she was going, who she was going with , what she did there. She will stick by that lie even in front of a firing squad. I have no trust for her right now. Lots of love, but no trust. She says this means I am not supportive of her, because I don’t trust her now and won’t let her run amok with him. How do I deal with the lies? It is like she is 2 different people-the lovely girl her family knows, and this swearing, sexually active liar that I don’t even know.
I am watching 3 generations of unwed, teenaged mothers handle the situation of the 3rd generation getting pregnant.
The odds are 40 in 1,000? Or, is this in the genes?
48Just found out this week that my 16 year old daughter is pregnant. The guy that got her pregnant will be 21 the end of this month and it sickens me that there is absolutely nothing I can do legally to this predator. I have been fighting this “relationship” for 2 years now and even took out no trespassing papers to keep him away from my home. He tried promising me the sun, moon and stars and telling me he only wants the best for her and would never hurt her. I told him to stay away, he is too old for her and she doesn’t need to wreck her future by being with someone that preys on high school girls because he’s too immature for someone his own age. Well to my surprise, she has been with him all this time and feeding me lies the whole time. She refuses to break it off with him and now she is telling me how things are going to go. I talked to an officer that informed me that with her still being a minor, I can seek custody while she is still pregnant and there is nothing he can do about it. I am definitely considering it so that I can ensure she finishes school and limit his influence over her. She told me today that he is furious that I’m looking into it. Who cares what he wants or thinks??? I am worried to death about my child and the future of my grandchild and I will not have that innocent baby being dragged all over the place while they are still trying to wild and carefree. She is working and about to start her junior year in high school. He just got a job and still lives with his parents (didn’t finish school). Neither of them have a car or their drivers license. What if the baby gets sick and needs medical attention??? They are both being selfish and irresponsible. I talked to his mother and she just said “keep me informed”. Really???? Thanks for sharing your stories and making me feel not soooo alone. Thanks too for a place to vent!!!
49This is an all to familiar story. My 18 year old to me she was pregnant. Along with all the other emotions, I am scared. Scared to know what will happen after the baby comes. Right now, we are looking at an April baby. I am worried about this insurance. We are blessed with great insurance that will cover her and the pregnancy, but will not cover the baby when it comes unless we (my husband and me) file for guardianship. Does anyone know how to have your grandchild on your insurance without having guardianship?I really don’t want to take responsibility for this child unless the parents are caring for him/her.
50Hey there Nancy and Amy — can you please contact me at aurelia.mwilliams@gmail.com Thanks
51Well I just found out my 14 yr old daughter is going to be a mother herself, we have discussed it and she is going to keep the baby with my help, however my problem is with my ex-husband, her dad. He is furious and went to a lawyer to try and take custody away from me, mind you in 12 years we have been separated/divorced he has never, not even one time taken his full visitation, when she has been in the hospital (she has had a few surgeries on her ears, & her appendix burst) he has never come to be with her, never came to her cheerleading games or competitions, does anybody know if he could actually get custody from me because she got pregnant?
52