Have you ever looked deeply at your parenting style to realize that on some occasions you turned into the screamer that you always said you’d never be?  Or perhaps you realize that you do or say things that, the minute they’re out of your mouth, you regret having said?   I think we as parents have been there at least once and if you are anything like me, it leaves you feeling badly and wondering what could have been done differently.

Although it may seem easier at the moment to yell at your teen in the midst of an unpleasant situation but in actuality, that will usually just add fuel to the fire.

Here are tips that you can use to curb your anger.  

Count to ten very slowly. Concentrate on the counting, regardless of what your child is doing or saying.
 
Put your hands in your pockets. (Please don’t laugh or snicker at this - this is a serious tip) This will help you resist the urge to use your hands in a threatening manner. 
 
Get away from the situation. Go into another room or take a walk. This gives both you and your teen some time to cool off.

Talk about the situation with your partner, another family member or perhaps a close friend.  Taking the time to talk the situation through will help you develop creative ideas for dealing with the situation.

Ask yourself questions!  How am I reacting to the situation? Why am I angry?

Finally, talk calmly.  Use “I” not “You” statements: “I am very upset about this because……” not, “You really MESSED UP, how could you have done this!”

There is no doubt you will get angry. There may be times you even say something that you really regret saying to your child. If your child said something similar to you, you would expect an apology. Remember, the same expectation also applies to parents.

Take Care and hug those teens!

Aurelia Williams

P.S. Check out –> How To Talk So Teens Will Listen